It has been 10 years since my life ended. In a long drawn out blink of an eye everything I ever wanted was gone, gone forever and forever unreclaimable. The shock, pain and pure simple horror were so sharp that I will freely admit I was crazy for a time.
The wound has healed as much as it ever will. The pain has become a hidden, sneaky thing that lays low and bides its time only to up with full force with a sometimes surprising unexpectedness. I know now that I will carry that pain until I too can leave this place and sail into the West.
After one hellofa God smack I was forced to realize that I had to pull it all together and make up my mind to live. That little boy who became my reason to go on is now a young man that would make anyone proud. From time to time I catch glimpses of the man he will become and my heart is filled to bursting.
I post this out of gratitude. It was a long, hard road that still has its dark turns and you sweet brothers and sisters of the boards have stood by me all the way, even when I was crazy. That road was lit with the candles of your caring and those little bright spots lead me back into the Light. I thank you and love you one and all. I will be eternally grateful.