The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and Tolkien - The One Ring

by **orodreth111** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 6:40 pm

Having witnessed more sappy, neo-tragic, pathetic and ridiculous farewell threads than I care to remember, I felt it my curmudgeonly duty to compose a standard form to be utilized by each White Council Member when they feel the pathetic urge to revel in the self-absorbed drama of leaving TORC. Please copy this out and transfer it to your hard-drive........ Fellow TORCers, I never thought I would be saying this but I,___________ have come to the agonizing decision that I must take my leave of this wonderful, magical place and set sail for the Gray Havens. When I first came to TORC I was amazed and delighted at having found a special place where I could be accepted for being the Dungeon and Dragons playing, fantasy nerd that I am. I fondly recall the time that I first stumbled onto this hidden gem of a website. I posted a hello in Welcome, and then answered my own post 37 times until**insert veteran oldbies name here** posted telling me to shut the Hell up. I failed to take his well given advice, and proceeded over to the MOVIE forum where I got into a friendly debate regarding Purism vs Revisionism. After being roundly and most deservingly flamed I decided to proceed to the Alliance Forum. What a great place!! In no time at all I started 17 different Guilds and we were off and running. Unfortunately the only other people joining my guilds were a friendly bunch called the Moderators. They attached that neato padlock icon, thus preserving my guilds for all time. I then decided to try my hand at RP. I struck out for the Prancing Pony and began my own story, a stern little piece entitled," The search for Bill The Pony's stool sample". Once again those darn Mods showed up and preserved my thread. Ahhh, the memories! Unfortunately, things have changed so drastically in my ______ months at TORC, that I can no longer post in good conscience. All my friends have moved on. I find myself posting less and less, finding it very difficult to interact with all the newbies. All my e-mails to John concerning my suggestion for a PORN FORUM have gone unanswered, and my sketch for a JEDI banner was rejected. This wounded me more than any of you could possibly know! A few nights ago I was so upset that I downed a case of JOLT cola and pranced around my bedroom in my grandmothers lingerie. TORC is having a negative affect on my social life and I must back away. I have made such great friendships here at TORC that I would be remiss as a human being if I did not say a few thank you's insert name of every poster logged in at the time of this letter In closing let me assure you that I will not log out and lurk to read who actually replies to this whiney,pathetic sack'o'crap. Also, pay no attention to the newbie that appears in Welcome tommorrow who post just like I do. I swear that it isn't me. Thank you all again for being such compassionate, loving, empathetic, sympathetic, nurturing friends. I will never forget you, love, _______________ Please do not deviate from this letter. Thank you, Oreo....<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0>

by **PJX** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 6:43 pm

lol its so true <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0> <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0> <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0>

by **InnocentEvil** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 6:48 pm

Sorry I had to go in and change such great work. I just made it fit the screen better.. but feel free to add that as part of the interference of those darn mods <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif"border=0>

by **Star-of-Hope** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 6:50 pm

Priceless...<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-devil.gif"border=0> Another Oreo masterpiece, it shall be forever enshrined.. no can't do that I used todays quota of padlocks in the Scriptorium <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0> Oreo you my dear sir are a genuis <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0>...My hat off to you my good man <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> (What I'm not wearing a hat<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif"border=0>) contacts Jon and asks him if we can have it installed on the front page as an article <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-devil.gif"border=0>...or better still added to the Terms of Service <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif"border=0>

by **Indo-o-Lalaith** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 6:54 pm

LOL, I don't think I've been here long enough to "resign!!!" Porn forum? That's just wrong<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0>

by **InnocentEvil** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 7:00 pm

YEAH.. a downloadable copy added to the TOS that people can use whenever we lock a thread! I love it. Oh Oreo, you forgot to mention that cybersex thread we locked and immortalized <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0>

by **orodreth111** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 7:06 pm

.....hehehehehe!!!!!!!Muahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0>

by **InnocentEvil** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 7:13 pm

That's a mighty thin wire you just danced across, 'Dawg. Nice moves! I thought of something else the letter needs, a statement of how invaluable the writer's prescense has been to TORC and how we're going down w/o them, as every one worth anything is leaving w/ them. Harumph! I could giggle of this all night.. oh and the Lurking Guild. You don't even have to register to join!

by **Snowdog** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 7:20 pm

I think I wrote a letter like this myself before... silly me!<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> Oh yes.. the Watchers Guild. Membership is secret since they don't post a list, because they are only watching. But usually email & IM & even phone calls heats up into a firestorm when somethings are spotted. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-rolleyes.gif"border=0><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-devil.gif"border=0>

by **Evenstar33** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 7:29 pm

hehehe.....<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> I think I just pulled a muscle laughing. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0>

by **Durin VIII** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 7:38 pm

He he he! Love it. Though some of don't need Jolt cola to prance around in lingerie and do it when we are in a good mood. I think I just shared a little too much.

by **InnocentEvil** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 7:42 pm

Um.. Durin.. We'll all pretend we didnt' hear that. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> I think there's a serious lack of "The Mods Are Evil and Ruined My Life'ness" in the letter but who am I to argue w/ the genius of the Oreo for whom I swoon? LOL

by **Lady_of_Rohan** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 7:43 pm

hmm, I shall have to use this example next time I decide to walk away from TORC for a while... I like it! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif"border=0>

by **hamlet** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 7:43 pm

Blah. If you still have a social life, you don't belong at TORC!<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif"border=0>

by **HaplothePatryn** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 7:44 pm

<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif"border=0> That letter makes me sad cause it is so true, everyone has gone! And I myself have not posted in a while as well, but I still couldnt force myself to insert my name into that letter. Newbies or no newbies, I can learn to adjust, or ill just go and hide under my moms wing in Movies! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif"border=0> Very good though all around oreo! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-crying.gif"border=0><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-crying.gif"border=0> It was....BEAUTIFUL!!!!! *blubbers like a baby* okay okay im done. bye ~Haplo~and~Babies~

by **orodreth111** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 7:52 pm

...No crying Haplo!!!! You really are much loved!<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0>

by **EntwifeLost** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 8:18 pm

HAHA - that is funny never the less - and at the end it should state, as an optional version... please feel free to email me at "person's email" Heres my reply form letter: Dear (person leaving) I really will miss you and hope youll always come back. Its been great seeing you round the boards. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> LOL

by **Snowdog** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 8:25 pm

Yeah Haplo.. dont be filling this out! You ARE loved! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0> We will have a banner and a catagory for the 2003 awards... 'perienniel resigner from TORC' award. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0> Would be an interesting catagory eh? How about the 'TORC isn't what it used to be' catagory?? Ok, enough from me. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0> Again, well done Oreo! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0> And Entwifelost, great reply form letter! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0>

by **orodreth111** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 8:46 pm

EWL!!!!! Good idea!!! Save us the trouble of composing the standard "Well, if you really feel that way, I hope that the sex change operation goes okay for ya, come back when it's over" reply!!<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> Ornery is me.....

by **orodreth111** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 8:50 pm

ooooops........

by **SilverScribe** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 8:51 pm

. . . oh . . . stop . . . please . . . can't . . . breathe . . . waaaaaaaaaa hahahahahahahaha . . . oh . . . not . . . nice . . . haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahahahaha . . . to . . . make . . . fun . . . but . . . gaaaaaaaaaaa hahahahaha . . . wipes eyes Shoot!! I'm pretty sure I just split something . . . <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif"border=0> Oreo, print this out and wear it on the front of your kilt and EVEN I will buy your calendar . . . <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0>

by **Lady_of_Rohan** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 8:55 pm

So, who's going to be the first to use this form letter?

by **orodreth111** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 8:57 pm

....Scribbles, this is actually the kinder, gentler me!!!!!<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0>

by **SilverScribe** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 9:20 pm

It is?! You mean . . . . . . . . . the rumours are true?!! That would make you . . . . . gulp . . . . . . . . scarier than BARAD-DUR!! ** GASP!! ** shudder ** slinks out of thread as quickly as possible . . .

by **theShadow** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 9:38 pm

I, theShadow, as a long time lurker of these Boards, find this quite charming and hilarious, and although I never actually interacted with the posters I am assuming this is a poke at, I realize what the impact the leaving of some of the more prolific posters can be. I read in this thread of a "lurking guild?" what is it, and how do I join?

by **Ithiliel** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 9:53 pm

ROFLMAO! That was so funny, and I couldn't help but get a sense of deja vu when I read it.. *sigh* Ahhh the joy that is TORC! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0>

by **Inwir_Draunimion** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 11:47 pm

Classic Oreo......<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif"border=0> I too have been guilty of the 'Time to move on' post........I got better.<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0>

by **Sauron's_Nagging_Wife** » Sun Jul 07, 2002 12:17 am

I would be hard pressed to choose the best one, we have so many Silly Dramatic Cows with departures like operatic death scenes. I think that we should have a contest and make this award the Grand Finale. (I suggested these awards last year, but for some reason, <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif"border=0> the idea wasn't popular.... <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif"border=0>) <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-devil.gif"border=0> These are the Mordorian Award categories: <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-devil.gif"border=0> Least Favorite Most Nauseatingly Sweet Most Sadistic Most Masochistic Person Whose Butt You’d Most Like to Kick from Mordor to Valinor Biggest Drama Queen/Knight Narrowest Mind Most Esoteric Name Most Annoying Sig Best Martyr Most Hilariously Dramatic TORC Departure Please! Do not nominate anyone in this thread! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0>

by **Star-of-Hope** » Sun Jul 07, 2002 12:49 am

I think the humour most of us found in it, is most of us have either written or contemplated writing such a letter and this parody has reminded us of the stupidity of ever believing we can break this thing we call 'a torc addiction'. To anyone who feels hurt by my laughter at it, I am sorry, but I am laughing at myself here. And the only offence I would take is if any one poster was given just cause to feel it was directed at them personally.

by **fatcatdave** » Sun Jul 07, 2002 1:45 am

Downloaded Sir, straightaway Sir, Hilrious Oreo, Though I have never contemplated leaving. I have seen a few I'm leaving/ I'm Back threads. Must admit it makes me laugh

The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and Tolkien - The One Ring

The "Farewell to Torc" form letter.....

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