ESCAPE FROM THE MISTY MOUNTAINS (reviews/ comments thread)

[Celebrimbor32]

A few words in brief here about this tale of mine which I have labored over for some time now. This is a final reworking of my old Bloodline story here in the Scriptorium. I had already posted the first nine or ten chapters over in the Reading Room but have decided, due mostly to lack of readers (or interest) and comments over there, to return to this forum in order to complete my ongoing literary project. I still like the format over in the RR but it often takes many days - sometimes weeks - of waiting before you finally see your work published. Even then, as is the present case with my last installment, it takes longer still when you get your submission returned to you in order to revise/edit whatever sections are deemed inapproriate. I suppose the same restrictions apply over here, of course, but at least I don't have to go through the waiting process over here. At any rate, I shall begin from the beginning once more. It shall be primarily the same as what I have so far over in the RR, save with a few minor corrections/alterations here and there.

And so....

[Arassuil]

Yeah, I kind of moved on to Henneth-Annun for posting stories. I'll still throw an excerpt and/or a short here in the Scriptorium, but decided against dealing with the Reading Room here.

I think the trouble is most people either don't know how to find it or just can't be @ss'd to go there. I asked a couple questions about the Reading Room here in the One Ring forum and got nil in response. Oh well. At least there is still some Tolkien traffic here compared to some other Tolkien sites, which have either changed their format to include other fantasy/Sci-Fi or have gone into decay.

Thanks for posting this Celebrimbor! I think I read some of this in the Reading Room but it wouldn't allow me to comment.

[Celebrimbor32]

Yeah, unfortunately the RR doesn't get the traffic like it used to in the old days. Nowadays it is mostly Manwe and Talk that gets the most attention here - two forums that have little or nothing at all to do with Tolkien stuff Perhaps things will change once those two Peter Jackson films -*makes dismissive hand gesture here* - come out next year. In the meantime I also signed up to the HASA site. Maybe I'll see you over there as well as here, Arrasuil!

[Arassuil]

Do you go by the same name on HASA as you do here? I see a story posted there in 2005 with a similar name.

I like the latest addition here!

[Celebrimbor32]

Thanks, Arassuil Yeah, I decided to resume posting my North Kingdom tale back over here and will probably remain here in the Scriptorium. I have more control over it that way.

I wasn't aware that I had a story posted over on Henneth I think I recall visiting that site a few times back then but I don't remember posting anything. But maybe my memory is failing me. I tried registering over there with the same name I have here but was told that such a name already exists, so maybe I did. At any rate, my screen name on HASA is Celebrimbor41. Not very original, I know, but at least its familiar. I am still waiting for my first 30 days to elapse so I can get involved in the threads. Do you currently have one or more of your stories posted over there? I'll look for them, assuming you also have the same name as here.

[earendil81]

I regularly post or read in this forum. Only thing for is that computer is not the ideal way of reading so I tend to print out stuff and it takes place. I remember printing the whole 249 pages of Scribbles' Celebrimbor adventure here to be able to read it quietly.

As it happens I did the same with your story only I have been writing a lot myself lately (in French so not posted here) and haven't taken the time to read it. I shall do that in the next couple of weeks as I will have a bit more time... and will give you my "comments"

Thanks for keeping this alive though

[Celebrimbor32]

Hi, earendil81! Thanks for stopping by. Naturally, I always welcome constructive feedback on my writings, as most authors do, of course - even if its a negative review. I shall keep on plugging away at this tale of mine even if no one else ventures herein. Perhaps the sheer length of my story is somewhat of a drawback to many readers here who might only be interested in shorter tales. But such is the way of it, I suppose. It can't be helped, as I am not anywhere close to being finished with all that I want to do with this. I might still be here working on this two years from now!

I actually skimmed the first post of your Eari Bio thread a long time ago but never got round to delving very deep into it, alas. Normally I am not too keen on reading actual character bio's and such, but now that I examine your old thread more closely I see that it really isn't a 'character bio' at all, but indeed a story in itself - and a very good one at that! I should have looked more closely at it long ago. Have you written any other full-length tales regarding M.E.? If not you ought to consider it if you have the time. At any rate, in the meantime I will begin perusing through your Eari thread again and will try and stop by there soon to provide a comment or two

[earendil81]

Celembrimbor,

Thanks for the comments, it is nice ... I also like feedback, whether on form or content, the earlier because English is not my native language and I am certain that I can still improve my accuracy. You know how sometimes you are trying to find a specific word and it eludes you for ever... I have to struggle with that a lot

When it comes to writing ME stories, I tend to do it in the context of role playing in the Pancing Pony here. I like the challenge of writing with other people and how it does influence how your character evolves.

What I do write is not necessarily ME related but mainly Middle Ages oriented or at least a touch of fantasy to it.
Now the length of a story does not deter me. As I said I have been following SilverScribe's writing and adventure for some 1000pages or so and have been enjoying it thoroughly so can't wait to sit down with the entirety of yours (I did read the first post some time ago but I need to re-read so as to plunge into the story )

[earendil81]

well it's a DP and yet it is not .

I have read the entirety of your work, reading the latest addition last night. Not ideal on my computer but well...

A couple of things I want to point out if you don't mind me.

#1. In your second paragraph (chp1) you write "in all, over seventy-five men and half as many women-folk had set out on the long trek from the wild lands in eastern Rhovanion...", then you write about Elendis "The girl happened to be the only female member of the present company."
And later on you mention there are 50 people in the company.

#2. "vilthavia had always feared he was susceptible to cowardice ever since he was a young boy."
And a paragraph later you write "Knowing this fact served to increase Vilthavia's insecurity and cowardice."
Don't you mean his "fear of being a coward" rather than the fact of cowardice itself?

It is just to clarify, I know sometimes it is hard to keep track of numbers and keep it coherent . So I figured I would let you know.
Also, there seems to be some typos and spelling mistakes, but I am sure that by running the spell check in Word you would find .

Those are little things, I like how you call to mind the very images and feelings that your characters experience. I found myself having trouble breathing when you describe Vilthavia's terror under the snow of the avalanche. The feeling of suffocation that you created was extremely strong and convincing. I like how your characters' feelings are believable and not extreme, also not archetypal. So thanks very much for a good read

[Celebrimbor32]

Greetings, earendil81! Always a pleasure Thanks for reading and commenting on my yarn. Hope you'll pop in every now and then to keep me on track! I'm sure it is quite an eyefull to read on the computer screen and all. I knew it would be even before I began it, but it can't be helped. I try not to make my paragraphs too long in hopes of alleviating that difficulty somewhat. However, printing each and every post out on paper would also be quite laborious as well, not to mention expensive in terms of ink!

A couple of things I want to point out if you don't mind me.

#1. In your second paragraph (chp1) you write "in all, over seventy-five men and half as many women-folk had set out on the long trek from the wild lands in eastern Rhovanion...", then you write about Elendis "The girl happened to be the only female member of the present company."
And later on you mention there are 50 people in the company.

Yeah, I realized I goofed on that a while back, and I meant to correct it when I was still posting this thing over in the RR, but it is impossible to make such corrections over there, unlike here in the Scriptorium. Simply put, I just forgot how many people I mentioned in total later on in the tale. Don't know if I'll get around to fixing that or not. Probably doesn't matter too much, as most of them die later on anyway

#2. "vilthavia had always feared he was susceptible to cowardice ever since he was a young boy."
And a paragraph later you write "Knowing this fact served to increase Vilthavia's insecurity and cowardice."
Don't you mean his "fear of being a coward" rather than the fact of cowardice itself?

Hmm...Perhaps so. It seems each sentence tends to sort of contradict the other. I'll try and go back and edit that soon. You're probably right about occassional typos and misspellings. Lately, with the last couple of chapters I have written, but have yet to post, I have begun to use the spell check, so hopefully you will see less of them from now on.

I am glad that you liked the avalanche scene. Thanks for that. That scene and the proceeding one where they must scale down the mountain without the aid of the path is one of my favorites, to be honest. It took me three tries to get that the way I wanted before I posted it. For some reason I have a bizarre fascination with mountain disasters - especially wintry ones. One of my favorite movies of the 1990's was "Alive". Don't know if you have seen that one, but it is the true story of the 1972 Uruguayan rugby team that found themselves in the disastrous plane crash in the Andes mountains. Many died but those that survived and were stranded on the mountain were forced to devour their dead companions' bodies or else starve to death. It's a great film...Anyway, that's what inspired me to come up with that avalanche chapter.

By the way, in your previous post in here you mentioned that you like to write tales set in the Middle Ages. That is funny, as that is also what I am trying to do right now. Few subjects intrest me as much as Medieval history. Currently I am pushing my way through a rough draft of a story set in twelfth century Wales. If I can't get through this one I have another idea for a story that is set in 13th century Languedoc, during the infamous Albigensian Crusade...I'd be interested to know what sort of Medieval subjects you are writing about

[earendil81]

Ah, the "croisade des albigeois"... my brother would love to speak with you about this (in French though) as it is one of his great centres of interest. My parents and siblings went for a tour in the region a couple of years back and really enjoyed all the history of it.

As far as I am concerned I am fascinated with Celtic culture as well as the culture of the Muslims in their golden age (what with the doctors such as Avissene - not sure of his name in English) as well as the period when Salah Al-Din (saladin) took the Kingdom of Jerusalem which prompted the Third Cruisade.
I find the latter really interesting because of how Christian, Jews and Muslims were able to live under one rule without killing each other. Same as the Spain of the Maures when you think about it. I think that is why I loved The Lions of Al-Rassan from Gavriel Kay so much.

Right now I am kinda stuck because of the research part I need to do (and don't have time to) to make it work.

As far as the numbers are concerned, it was not so much the number of people but the fact that Elendis is referred to as the only woman which was not the case at first .

I haven't seen the movie you mention but I - like Vilthavia - am prone to vertigo (as well as claustrophobia) and am not too fond of the mountains . I guess that is also why I can connect so much . Essentially to me anything that implies being stuck in an enclosed space makes me uneasy. And the thought of an avalanche is like one of the most horrid way to die.
I remember a theatre exercise I had to do back when I was doing musical... the professor had us close our eyes and imagine that we were in a room with shrinking walls. I fainted out of sheer panic . Not funny at the time, but ridiculous when you think about it right .

[Celebrimbor32]

I'm sure your brother and I would get on pretty well, Eari, though unfortunately I know very little french (though I can speak it pretty well phonetically!). I know some basic Turkish, since my wife is from Turkey, but that's about it besides English, alas. At any rate, I'm sure I could learn quite a bit from him. It must be nice living in France for a history enthusiast (I assume you live in France). There isn't much I wouldn't do for a trip to France - especially south France!

Celtic culture, you say. Indeed! I, too, love reading about it (as did Tolkien!). Maybe one of the few places that might even top south France for me might be Wales. As I mentioned, my historical piece I am writing begins there. Are you at all familiar with the legend of Madoc? Madoc ap Owain Gwynedd was an illigitimate son of king Owain Gwynedd in the second half of the twelfth century. He was renowned as a marriner and was reputed to have left the barbaric Wales with one of his brothers and several followers to sail off into the distant west across the Atlantic. There is evidence now to suggest that they succeeded in their oceanic crossing and at length landed in what is now Mobile, Alabama, along the gulf coast. At some point he (and later on his descendants) made their way up the river systems of the mid west and left behind them several stone fortifications - many of which still stand to this day, albeit mostly in ruins. Here in my own state of Indiana the remains of a very Welsh-looking fortification can easily be visited down along the Ohio River! I know this because my father and I have been there and stood upon what must have once been some sort of guard-post that was built there to watch for enemies along the river course. We even ate our sandwiches on it that day! It takes a bit of a mild hike through some underbrush in the woods to get to it but it wasn't a big deal. Anyway, the subject of Madoc is a passionate one fore me. If you want you can look up Madoc on Wikipedia, though I don't take kindly to whomever wrote the info on it, as they make light of the while thing and even suggest that the whole story is nothing more than an old fictitious tale.

I can relate with your difficulties on research. That's one of the drawbacks to writing historical fiction, I suppose. My main problem with the whole Madoc thing is my lack of knowledge of medieval sea-travel and the sea-craft they used. The crossing of the unknown ocean would be a big part of the tale, in my opinion. So I haven't figured out how to deal with it yet. That's why I am mulling over the prospect of trying to come up with a land-based tale (ie. Albigensian Crusade). we'll see. That is why I am so occupied with this North Kingdom tale - to see if I am capable of writing a full-length epic. Indeed, I plan on robbing from the better parts of this story in order to tweak it into my History piece.

Gavriel Kay. I knew I had heard the name before but wasn't quite sure of where I had heard of him. I checked Wiki, though, and so now I remember. I haven't read any of his books before, but perhaps a few of them would kindle my interest, especially The Song for Arbonne, which seemingly deals with the Albigensian Crusade.

As far as I am concerned I am fascinated with Celtic culture as well as the culture of the Muslims in their golden age (what with the doctors such as Avissene - not sure of his name in English) as well as the period when Salah Al-Din (saladin) took the Kingdom of Jerusalem which prompted the Third Cruisade.
I find the latter really interesting because of how Christian, Jews and Muslims were able to live under one rule without killing each other

.

Yes, quite true. And Saladin was not the only such example of religious tolerance under a Muslim ruler. A pity the same thing cannot be said about Christianity? The Albigensian Crusade was certainly a disgusting and reprehensible example of the western religious mindset at the time. Self-righteous absolutism at its very blackest. If I were to write about this topic I would find it difficult to resist the temptation of further blackening the reputation of Simon de Montfort and the papal legates that he associated with. Innocent III probably wouldn't fare much better, either!

[Arassuil]

Very good instalments added Celebrimbor! A most enjoyable read!

[Celebrimbor32]

Thank you, Arassuil Almost finished writing Book One now, thank goodness (one down and about four more to go?!). It's slow work but at least it keeps my mind moving...Good to see you're still around here these days!

[earendil81]

still reading... only I was away in my family for Xmas so catching up with the latest installments.
Still enjoying it very much.

Glad to hear things are coming along, albeit slowly

[Arassuil]

I browse through the site now and again.

I hear the 'slowly' aspect. Been working on some of my projects offline the last few months, and finding time to do that is not easy, even during the holidays when I'm not working.

I may post some more tales here if I'm able to get around to it.

[Celebrimbor32]

Thanks again, eari81 and Arassuil! For both of you to take the time and read through such a lengthy tale as this one is a compliment to me. I do hope that I can continue to make it interesting for the reader. However, please don't fail to mention any shortcomings you might come across as you read, as I'm sure there are plenty of them. I promise not to take it amiss

Arassuil, I certainly hope that you find a bit of time soon to post any new tales you have written as of late here in the Scriptorium! You too, eari81!

[Celebrimbor32]

Just a quick note here to any that might be following this tale (if any are left, that is). There might be a lengthy delay between posts for a while due to extensive revisions that need to be undertaken with the next two or three chapters (not to mention a busy real life schedule!). I decided that what I had prepared next has turned out to be rubbish. Thank you.

[Bardhwyn]

Ah, revisions! Yes, know that one - May they flow effortlessly, Celembrimbor!

[earendil81]

I am still following as well and will await expectantly

[Celebrimbor32]

Thanks, Eari and Bardhwyn. Appreciate your encouragement What a drag, those revisions! Over the years I have discovered that the best way to determine whether or not your latest chapter is pretty good or really just plain silly is to immediately step away from it after its completion for at least 3 to 5 weeks minimum without reviewing it. That way you can read it again after that long with eyes anew. Admittedly it is the slow way, but the only good method of reviewing your own writings impartially.

[earendil81]

FYI, you're a contestant for one of the awards.
Some have enjoyed the story enough . So even when people don't comment, they see
Take a look at the WCA thread in Talk

[Celebrimbor32]

Thanks, Eari. I had no idea I got nominated for that. I didn't even know I was eligible for it seeing as how my story is incomplete. But thanks to whomever thought of me! However, I imagine that a completed story ought to win the award in the end. Only fair, really.

[Bardhwyn]

I don't think that is a stipulation, Cel. Good luck!

[Arassuil]

Oi mate, I voted for you!

I'll have to give it all a re-read too, & maybe I'll have some comments.

Keep on writing. As for revisions... I get caught up in that, so much so that whenever I get back to going over stuff I wrote weeks/months before that seemed pretty good at the time, I deem it sheer rubbish.

[Celebrimbor32]

Oi mate, I voted for you!

I'll have to give it all a re-read too, & maybe I'll have some comments.

Hey there, Arrasuil! Your back. Wasn't sure if you were still around here these days. And any comments you might have will be welcome, of course. Thanks for the vote, though Bardhwyn ought to be nominated as well for "Bandit Tales". I highly recommend giving it a read as well. Come to think of it, I believe you said earlier that you were going to post some of your new stuff in here sometime soon

Revisions are always rough for me. But most all writers (excepting Shakespeare) can expect frequent revisions. One of my favorite authors, Tolstoy, was said to have gone through nearly ten different revisions of Anna Kareninabefore allowing it to be published! Can you imagine that! And he did it all with pen and paper!

Thanks again to Eari and Bardhwyn

[Arassuil]

Yeah I’m around now and again. One day I’ll get a tale or two posted here, but 2011 has been in its 1st 5/12ths been rather challenging and busy.

I did have to get on here to read your latest instalment and say I really like its direction! What will Elendis do???

[Celebrimbor32]

Good to hear you haven't left, Arassuil. It seems life gets a little more hectic with every passing year, doesn't it? I am only barely out of my thirties now and wondering how much busier my forties will be than the last decade. But despite that I always try and make time for writing - even if it means cutting back an hr or so of sleep here and there. There's no way I can do without my writing now, as I find that I enjoy it vey much. Seriously though, if you have any unfinished tales that you have written stashed away somewhere I hope you post one of them up here sometime.

As for Elendis, well - I am looking forward to seeing what happens with her too, as I have no idea yet She (and the Urlavia character as well) has become far more important to the story than I intended her to be when I first started. But that's a good thing, as I need more female protagonists in the tale. Book Two will introduce more of them, I think.

[Arassuil]

Typical of a Ranger that I make an appearance at times unexpected, and is off in the wilds for extended periods. I came back to wrap up a couple loose ends, like ending my Inn RP in the Pony. I'll begin posting snippets of my tales here again. I doubt I'll ever get as deep into the writing as you have with this fine tale though. I will hand it to smart-phones though. I can type out notes when thoughts and ideas about a particular storyline hits me while out in the world, then I can incorporate them into the writings later.

[Celebrimbor32]

Thanks Arassuil. You have to love those phones. Maybe I will start jotting down some notes on mine as well whenever I am out and an idea pops into my head, which happens frequently. Just have to stay organized long enough to do so. I keep thinking I am reaching the end of Book One at last but more and more possibilities keep opening up for the characters I feel like I need to explore them. Another three or four more chapters to go, I think.

I will certainly keep an eye open for any tales you post here in the Scriptorium, even if they are snippets. If I remember your writings from the past correctly I'm sure that they will be quite good. Are they also North Kingdom tales or later Third Age stories?