Poetry with Parm

Writing is a passion many people experience after reading Tolkien's works. Come here to discuss and share your experiences with writing.

Postby Wynken21 » Wed Sep 01, 2004 9:40 am

I haven't much time
to stay here to ryhme
but I wanted to say thank you
to Parm for the welcome.
I need a helping hand
I need someone who can
teach me brand new things
about what my poetry brings
and I think I might have found
the one to hang around.

Thanks fopr editing my poem I like it! :)
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Postby Aislinn » Sat Sep 04, 2004 9:03 am

Peering out through the darkness
With sleepy eyes that drift
To gaze again, on peaceful realm,
I feel my spirits lift.

I brush the nighttime from my eyes
With a wink and a blink and a nod
And feast upon the stars again
Where once I dared to trod.

It's nice to know that there's a place
Where fires burn so sweet and warm;
It brings a comfort to the soul
And offers shelter from the storm.

A sense of ageless time exists
To those who know and share the grace
They spill their hearts upon the hearth
Of wonder in this joyous place.

Be they fledgling meadowlarks, or
Those gone quiet with their songs.
Here they fly beneath the sun
And they are healed of any wrongs.

As days may rise and nights may fall
The sky is always blue and clear
They fly right in and sing along
Free of sorrow, free of fear.

A long overdue Thank You to Parm :)
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Postby prmiller » Sun Sep 05, 2004 4:45 pm

Kind words that come from many,
are just as great from few,
the poems made, though awkward,
are treasures sent from you.
Keeping reading and keep writing,
feel free to post them here.
Yet be your toughest critic,
and more than I, severe.
Within this poet's haven
be certain I applaud
the risk it took in coming,
but do not think it odd
that I will push you further
from mediocrity,
so others, too, take pleasure
in your own poetry.

Bright blessings,
Parm :)
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Postby Wynken21 » Thu Sep 09, 2004 9:37 am

no comfort in my head
no thought of sunshine
just torture there instead
in wonderment of rain
falling everyday
souls colide deep inside
a meshing of all I know
a steam, an anger
begins to grow as I think of you
why have you stomped the flower
why have you brought out storms
why have you played with fire
why is it I still mourn?
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Postby prmiller » Thu Sep 09, 2004 4:36 pm

I quite like this piece. Some strong images here.
I'd like to make two suggestions:

Wynken21 wrote:no comfort in my head

a meshing of all I know
a steam, an anger


For greater impact, you might try:

a steam
an anger
a meshing
of all I know

also...
try "a rage" rather than "an anger" for greater euphony.

so it looks this way...

a steam
a rage
a meshing
of all I know

I feel greatly honored when people visit me with their poems.
However, I do realize that they are mostly brought to be enjoyed,
rather than critiqued. Even so, this latest poem has such delicious
qualities about it, I succumbed to the temptation to add my
"bit of salt" to the poetic broth.

I hope no offense is taken.

Bright blessings,
Parm :)
(who has put his salt shaker away) :wink:
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Postby Wynken21 » Thu Sep 09, 2004 6:49 pm

I love hearing your opinion, please give it any time

Ribbons and bows
have fallen from her curls
she aches just like a woman
breaks, just like a woman
she's my friend
shall I ever see her again
maybe I'll be blessed
when I see if she's like all the rest
she takes just like a woman
she ahced just like a woman
but she prays just like a little girl
came in here
and your long time curse hurts
but what worse is the pain in here
ain't it clear
I just don't fit
maybe its time to just quit
don't let on like you knew me then
I was hungry and full of fear
she aches just like a girl
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Postby salean » Sat Sep 11, 2004 5:19 am

Here I stand,
On the waters edge,
Here I stand and stare,
I watch as the mist,
Hangs eerily over the mountain,
lake, and forest,
Shifting slowly through,
The silence around,
Is mysterious,
Like the silence,
On a cold morning,
Reflections are still,
On the water,
Low clouds covering the banks,
Tiny islands,
Float in the lake,
I take it all in,
Standing here,
At the waters edge,
Standing here,
It's beautiful.

I know its not very good but I posted it here anyway.
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Postby prmiller » Sun Sep 12, 2004 4:40 pm

The Risks of Poetry
The phrases may be tortured,
and penned to fit some scheme,
we had such good intentions
for our poetic dream,
but when we see it written
for all the world to see,
our great and lyric visions
are mediocrity.
Come here and find some safety.
Step in and and feel at home,
for any stellar poet,
was also built like Rome:
one brick, one line, one poem,
one structure at a time,
so come, though not iambic,
express, though not in rhyme.
"It is not good," and maybe
it needs some work to shine,
but let us work together,
to fashion word and line.

Bright blessings,
Parm :)
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Postby Wynken21 » Tue Sep 14, 2004 6:28 am

A candlelit sky,
sparkles in my eye.
Looking to the world,
still a little girl,
composing up a dream,
of magic,
silly things.
Dancing in the night,
by the fire side.
Drifting off to worlds...
of imaginary thrills.
Taking all the risks,
a childs blessed innocence.
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Postby prmiller » Wed Sep 15, 2004 4:53 pm

For Wynken --
What a haunting poem!
The images linger in my mind, like the last notes of a majestic hymn.

In Japan we say, "Just one little thing".
So, here are my two "one little thing(s)" :D

First, it never ceases to amaze me how people are able to master the
many idioms we have in English. We can "summon up a memory",
but not a taxi, we can "call up a friend", but not a bad play (in sports).
The same is true, I think for dreams. We compose symphonies, novels
and dreams, not usually compose up a short story or poem or dream.

Second, I have just had a verbal wrestling match with my ESL students
about the possessive of things: you know the one I mean..."its" vs "it's".
It is (contraction deftly avoided) no wonder, then, when possessives
appear, we get nervous...a child's memory, vs. a childs memory
or parents' wishes vs. parents wishes. Sigh....it is no wonder my students
quake putting pen to paper...for Japanese students, being wrong at
something is a dreadful thing. All that personal disgrace, and so on.

How great it is to see such splendid poems here and there with your
name on them!

A note to me:

Remember to use the edit button more often to correct your own
errors..."What is good for the goose, is good for the gander."
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Postby Wynken21 » Mon Sep 20, 2004 2:52 pm

My Darkest Night

I told a tale of self deciet.
I wove a picture bittersweet.
A mural painted in my mind.
That has not faded....
through the time.
I walked alone to the place,
I fear the most,
I've grown to hate.
I revisited a past known hell.
I think I took it rather well.
I looked back to that evil day,
and gave a shrug
as if to say:
Why waste another moment here?
Thinking thoughts I cannot heal?
Why taste a bitter taste by will?
Why swallow that familar pill?
I won't go back and linger there.
I will prevail in life instead.
No lingering in forgotten dreams,
where things looked worse still unseen.
I'll walk outside my head, my thoughts.
Never to look back, dark night forgot.

parm: would it be ok if i nominate you for the Scriptorium Red Pencil Award. I think it would be an honor if I were elected for something, but I wanted to check first. You are the best :)
Last edited by Wynken21 on Fri Nov 19, 2004 6:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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t

Postby prmiller » Thu Sep 23, 2004 9:13 am

I would be false of heart if I did not give my appreciation for such an
honor. However, I am but one among many other fine editors here. Yes,
it is all in good fun, but I would be saddened if someone has secretly
hoped for such a good-hearted nomination, because it gives a little
bit of affirmation for all the time given for editing and coaching, yet
does not receive it. (Whew! That was a convoluted sentence!)

At any rate, enjoy putting forward the nomination, and hope along
with me that others have fun thinking of someone else.

I am working on my nominations as well. The days on the calendar are
quickly slipping by.

Thank you for your poems, by the way.
(Enjoy the benefits of free spell-checking service online!)
e.g. deciet vs. deceit
Bright blessings,
Parm :)
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Postby Navi » Fri Sep 24, 2004 7:51 pm

A short introduction in the style of Greek translated poetry:

Hoping that he won't intrude
A poet offers up a fatted calf,
Ripe for the offering,
To be sacrificed in criticism:



Rawe of the Raven Hair


The river lay across the path
Like a never ending tale
Murmured secrets passing by
Through that dim and moonlit dale

And I stood by upon the path
Water seemed to say to me
That "Only Innocent may pass
All were once those truly free"

It seemed I saw a child there
In the river, on the shore
A beautious thing with golden hair
Eyes black as the river's core

She walked into the river then
As she touched the water's side
She did not sink, but Innocent
Walked atop the river wide

"River daughter" named I her
In that realm of unknown sounds
Bowed she then, and touched her hair
Into the river's damping crowns

As she melted to the depths
I knew to be the river base
I was distracted from her sight
By moonlight on the farther face

Across the river did I see
Silver-black was shimmering
And in the moonlight there I saw
Hair as black as raven-wing

The river of the night lay there
Know that I was lost for words
'I, Rawe of the Raven Hair"
Spoke the river, and I heard

Rawe of the Raven Hair
Gods are wont to know thee
None is there so beautious fair
I shall always love thee

The deep enchantress of the night
So the legends often say
The faerie of the darker light
Not seen ever 'neath the day

The legends tell she is the river
When the moon is on the rise
The stories say she is the moonlight
When the river all still lies

Not a sound did break that silence
And yet the river spoke to me
"Be ye innocent and pass"
Into this moonlit misery

Entranced by nothing but the night
Stepped I to the river then
And, Innocent, I walked above
Water never meant for men

The River-Child I'd seen before
Brought me to my innocence
And not a thought within me lay
But the thought of childish bliss

So cross did I, and as I did
Water still beneath my lay
The moonlight shone upon the bank
Rawe on the bank did stay

Perplexed, she looked, and spoke she then
"How crossed thee o'er the river's shore?
Innocence unmeant for men
Resides within thee... In thy core."

"How canst thou cross the river Styx
Unknown to Charon, undead and live?"
Said I to her "Ah, I AM dead.
Dead to reality's soft lies"

"Rawe of the Raven Hair
Beauty not in life, in Death
None is there so beautious fair
Truth lies in thy breath"

"Rawe of the Raven Hair
Life is wont to know thee
All death's freedom, no life's care
Won't you come with me?"

In that realm of soft delusions
Truth was still her words inside
"Though in Death life can be free,
Life of Death is suicide."
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Postby Aislinn » Sun Sep 26, 2004 9:08 am

In dreams I walk a shadowed path beside the ever present wrath.
His eyes are empty. His heart is cold. He takes my hand, he’s grown quite bold.

I try to soothe the angry soul with melodies throughout our stroll.
We walk for miles, the wrath and me. We stop to gaze across the sea.

He has a tale he wants to share. He points to ships now gathered there.
A single ship with tattered sails is floundering amidst the gale.

The ship is small. The ship is weak. He looks to me and starts to speak.
I shush him with a finger, soft. We watch the sails fly aloft.

They catch beneath the darkened sky and billow with a windy sigh.
The ship, it sinks beneath a wave and settles down to watery grave.

The wrath is moved by such a plight. He turns away from such a sight.
He kneels down on golden shore. Through heaving sobs his feelings pour.

His tears they spill upon the ground. I hold him close without a sound.
I feel him weaken, stirring deep. I tell him that he must not weep.

I kiss his tears and soothe his pain. I force his eyes to seas again.
A stronger ship has now appeared and it was one to be revered.

It was sturdy, strong and full of life. The sight it cuts him like a knife.
He smiles then with irony. “So this is what I brought to be?”

“You should be proud.” was my reply. They watched the ship go sailing by.
He smiled at last and found his peace. The wrath was gone, the storms had ceased.
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Postby prmiller » Mon Sep 27, 2004 5:02 pm

for Navi

I read with swiftly growing awe
the narrative unfolding here,
and finished, take a cleansing breath,
delighted, though I shed a tear.
What graciousness has prompted you
to bring your gift, a splendid tale,
yet sorry, for I have but this,
for such a thing you did regale.

for Aislinn
Come oft, and let us see you more
for lyric gifts and gifts of lore.
Though short this rhyme, I do emplore,
please come and step through my wee door.
Last edited by prmiller on Thu Oct 07, 2004 12:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Navi » Tue Sep 28, 2004 8:23 pm

I thank thee parm, and wonder too
What thing could ever surpass you
A narrative, yes, that is true
A tale of meanings, and not few

My tale describes what is a form
Of nihilism, endless storm:
A search for what can never be
A search for true reality



A metaphor for ultimate experience
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Postby prmiller » Wed Sep 29, 2004 5:03 pm

A reply to Navi

Look for the Albatross that flies,
white-crossed within your stormy skies,
and with that hope, your rudders set
though skies be black and seas be jet.
No words have I but these to lend,
the search for meaning finds its end
in One who guides and calls me Friend.

Bright blessings,
Parm :)
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Postby Wynken21 » Mon Oct 04, 2004 8:45 am

A Elbereth- Queen of the Stars

Behold! The night stars,
As vast as the sea.
Wide is thy world.
Much yet unseen.
Children of Eru,
For whom we have planned...
Gaze upom the gift.
In reverence thy stand.

"Oh Varda the Beautiful!"
"Laita Tari o le wilyai!"
Starlit blessings,
stream down from the sky.

Awestruck with wonder.
Firstborn, with new eyes...
Cherish thy love,
a sparkling sky.

"Laita-Varda Tari o le eleni"
"Beauty beheld,
from Elbereth there lies."
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Postby prmiller » Sat Oct 09, 2004 5:50 am

I love the poems and the lore
the stories that inspire,
but I must journey from this place
and from the cheering fire.
My heart needs rest from much travail,
yet keep the logs nearby
for my return, though dust shall fall,
and days may swiftly fly.

I bid adieu,
Parm
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Postby Wynken21 » Mon Oct 11, 2004 2:54 pm

Hurry back parm, I always love to read your work. And may your heart be blessed in your parting. farewell for now friend.
:D
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Postby Wynken21 » Thu Oct 14, 2004 8:13 am

Longing for a Dream

Longing for a dream,
Told last night in sleep
A lover lost at morning light
Will I dream of him tonight?

To feel your soft skin next to mine
Lovers wandering through endless time
My lips slowly part to meet with yours
Sparks ignite as feelings burn

Distance looms like empty land
But in this world we’re hand in hand
Heated passion burns like fire
Fueled by whims and desires

To wake from this I do not ask
To stay within my lovers grasp
Close to you, this feels so right
This dream I dream with you tonight.
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Postby prmiller » Thu Oct 14, 2004 4:14 pm

For Wynken...and the other fine poetic souls

Though I return, and bags are laid
beside the hearth from which I strayed,
I fear my thoughts may be delayed
for mid-term tests must soon be made.
My students would not mind at all
should I prefer my muse's call
and let my duties sharply fall
to sit near tree and shaded wall
to write, to think, and let time flow
to savor dreams both long and slow
and let the ties of duties go --
they would not mind -- of this I know!
Expect me, then, when all is done,
but be assured I read each one,
each poem brought is as the sun
to light the path which I must run.

Bright blessings,
Parm :)
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Postby Vanaladiel » Mon Oct 18, 2004 10:18 pm

Though clouds of gray
have dogged my steps
these many long long months
And rain has pelted me nonstop
as drearys been my path
I search the skies for hope
my soul is burdened but I go on
for I can not give up
long have been the lonely nights
and hunger been my friend
I struggle on and move my feet
trying to get ahead
Now the cloud burst stopped
and the clouds are breaking
for sunshine is pushing through
what is this that is coming to me
it is hope renewed
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Postby Navi » Wed Oct 20, 2004 1:03 pm

Mirror of Fire
Look into the looking glass
What is left to say?
Now lost, all truth is of the past
Just sunsets faded gray.

I plunge the flame to utmost cold
Despair cannot release its hold
I think the end I'll never see
Of passioned flame's insanity
The flame still burns and won't consume
Reality: my bitter doom.

Look into the looking glass
What is in my eyes?
No, there's no need to be aghast
At bitter truths and lies.
Written there: the deepest pain
And knowledge almost true
Life was always just a game
Yet always nothing new.

For lack of breath I can't survive
This truth that drowns and won't revive
So quickly do I realize
The hopelessness of my demise

Look into the looking glass
Tell me what you see
Faded pages of the past
Lost reality.

For lack of breath my heart won't cease
From endless burning: no release.
Yet I can kill impassioned woe
With one fell swipe, my life can rend
But nonetheless I need to know
If passion e'er can reach an end...

Looking through the looking glass
Life is but a lie
Now I know, the die is cast
There's nothing left tonight.






The Tale of Navi and Cara
He did betwixt the messages construe
Odd meanings, one of which was "I love you."
Upon the reading of his soft repose
She jolted upright from her daylight doze
And knowing his inscription to be true
Replied she thus, she said "I love you too!"
And thus began the meaning of his life
Which brought him upright from his prostrate strife.
The purpose flowed, and deep within his veins
He felt elation shatter all his chains.
He was alive, he now did live life full
Not e'en one moment in his life was dull
Consistent chatter shut the dullness out
But talking every moment stirred his doubt
Encouragement did only make it worse
Despair did even cause him then to curse
He asked her then: "How can this thing be true?
This love that now I say I have for you
And answering as always now you do
With simply writing that you love me too
I can't believe! It is too good for truth!
I find it hard to think you're not uncouth
I think that now this love that lives in me
Diminishes each day I newly see."
And quickly did she simply him reply:
"Have faith, my love, don't let time pass us by
I swear to thee that what I speak is true
Espec'ly when I say that I love you!"
No doubt was left, no stone for him unturned
His love for her quickly renewed he learned.
Inscribing as he did narrative verse
While his good parents quickly turned to curse
How could their son be mixed up in such things
As internet relations? Just pain brings
To such an outraged state they ask to him why
And quite indignant was his soft reply
"I love her! This, methinks at least is true.
Let well enough alone, I say to you!
Why can't you simply leave me here in peace?
To deal with consequences, not the least
Of which will be how I think I love her.
So quickly can emotions now deter.
But will'st thou not allow me to but try
To live a life that crosses o'er the sky.
I don't care if I only live a lie
It's better than, methinks, how I do cry
About the things that I in life detest.
My simple soul I see will find no rest."
And so they left their lovelorn son alone
And uttered one small, simple, verbose moan.
Now as the muses can and do foretell
These lovers, they will once quite simply dwell
At least for one small time they shall but meet
And never realise that they did greet!
They shall not know that they had ever met
But to dear God, they both shall owe a debt!
And thus does end their story as to date
But things I know will happen as of late
And no more shall I now with you debate
And curiosity will satiate
I know no more of their sad story now
I do not know who, where, when, why nor how!






Night
The beautious landscape of the sky
With scintillating gems on high
Such beauty in the earth's not found
But only in the stars renowned
Revered, it is, that crystal light
That dots the vast expanse of night
'Tis truly not of earthly realm
though mirrored in the armoured helm






Numb
I see the pain. I see the blood
But I can't feel what I should.
For me, there is no life to live
Except to watch what I've become.
There is nothing that I can give
For I will always be this numb.

To watch me is to live my life;
To see things through my eyes.
You stab me, and I see the knife
But I can never realize
That what I feel
Was ever real.
You watch me bleed
But I don't need your empathy.
I know that all I ever see
Is all that will define me.

I'm bleeding but I'll never feel
The pain, the hate, the agony.
My life: my wound will never heal
And I will never seem to be
Anything more than what I feel.
You know that I will never be.
Accept the void inside me.
Become your empathy.
Become my apathy.






Ocean
If you feel down, don't feel so bad
You don't have to be so sad
If you fell down, I'd pick you up
You wouldn't have to drink this cup

Brimming with emotion
Setting things in motion
At the edge of the ocean

When I feel like I can't go on
Left on this beach, alone at dawn
Why do you always leave me here?
Stranded. Losing faith and fear

I don't know why
I don't know why
I cry
I try
To fly above the ground beneath

Is there sense in this?
I don't see where
It's just a kiss
Why do I care?
I've lost myself in you
And now I need to find
The one thing that's true
The one thing that's kind

A chorus full of words
A chorus of the birds
A songbird sings along
The chorus of a song

This life of love
Both fake and real
And from above
A sacred seal
There's more to life
Than just emotion
There's more to love
Than just a potion

Fate cast it's lot
And I chose wrong
It's fated not
I move along

I don't know why
I don't know why
I cry
I try
To fly above the ground beneath your wings...






Out
I listen to the love songs that I used to love so much
I think about the longing that I've had so for her touch
But suddenly it strikes me how I don't know who she is
I think of all the ones I've loved and realize that this
Is something that's quite different. There is noone that I love
I have no one to sing to all the ballads from above
There's no one who will catch me when I fall so fast and hard
There's no one who will find me when I'm lost and in the dark
There's no one that I value even more than life itself
And all the names of one's I've loved are dust upon a shelf
And currently an emptiness pervades my life of loss
And all the dreams I've dreamed before upon the sea do toss
No object for affection do I have. Not anymore.
There's no one that I whisper words upon the wind now for
There's not one name I say with longing when I find my rest
There's no one that I safely say is better than the rest






Pages
I've been lost in these pages for many a year
but there's nothing to think of and nothing to fear
there's nothing to want and there's nothing to lack
and there's nothing to feel but the wind at your back
but something can happen and some death can come near
And you'll be lost in these pages for many a year!







Pain
As I dwell now upon my sad despair
I wonder if the chance was truly there
I wonder if the truth was worth this grief
I wonder if this pain, tossed like a leaf,
Will leave once lost is all the hope and care.

I once did see you walking in the woods
In dreams that I'd remember if I could.
And still I wonder would it be the same
If lingered longer did I in this pain
But now I find 'twas longer than was good.

If I were but to tell you once again
How simply I still love you just the same
'Twould do more damage than it seemly ought
But that is but some pain of what I've wrought
I've lingered all to long in piercing pain






My Passion
Like cobwebs clinging to my skin
I'm bleeding outward and within
Like tendrils trickling o'er my veins
I'm left with only these bloodstains
Like that which courses through my soul
My life is what I won't control

Elixir of the damned
Now dripping from my hand
My life falls to the floor
Until there's nothing more

Now crushed in hand, this daffodil
With bloodstained colors bleeding still
My life, my blood, a stigma made
All I can do is start to fade

I've sacrificed myself inside
Now nothing stems this rising tide
With nothing left, nothing to hide
God knows I've cried, God knows I've died
Inside

Elixir of the damned
Is dripping from my hand
My life falls to the floor
And there is nothing more






Past
I can live in the past I can love what I knew.
I can joy in the last of the things said untrue.
I can think how I laughed and I made you laugh to.
I can live in the past, I can love what I knew.








Picture
You paint your picture
I'll see what you lack
I just can't tell you what.
Who's talking behind your back?

Inverted truths
Make for cool lies
But you never know the truth
No matter how hard you try
OH how you try

I'll help you see
through to the truth
But my deceptions
Can be just as uncouth

You never know
Who's your friend
You Run away
To search for a god-send

Chorus:
One thing's true
Just get it through
Don't misconstrue
I say to you
that God is true
End Chorus

I Don't trust me
I Don't trust you
I never know
If I'll see it through

You start it all
You hear your call
Your on the ball
You know who'll fall

[Chorus]







Poetic Rants
Poetic rants and ravings only postpone all your grief
They ball it all into one single fall to fathoms deep
Poetic rants and ravings are a way to vent your soul
but does it serve a purpose, does it have one single goal?
Poetic rants and ravings are refreshing at their best
but poetic rants and ravings cannot lay all things to rest
Poetic rants and ravings are a way to think of love
but they only fall once gone their call and bring the mourning dove!









Poppies
I found myself entrapped in thought
And realized the lies I'd fought
Had really turned out to be true
But that was nothing new.

Seeing what I see.
Knowing what to be.
Pondering what's true.
This I say to you:

Sanity is now insane.
Our racing thoughts are all made lame.
Reality is all the same.
No differences but name.
"I want to be inside myself:
Cut off from this sad world I know.
I'll fall into the void of me
And thus become half-whole."

I found myself then lying down
In somewhere new. A place unfound.
I'd never been to skies of green.
Before, this field I'd never seen.

Rows of poppies, ashen gray,
Alive and well that sunny day.
The air of freshest pine did smell
And right beside me was a well.

The grass was shade of ripest grape
and dew all o'er that grass did drape.
And in the sky, the strangest shape:
The one hole back, sanity's 'scape.

I walked 'till, at the edge, the field
Did merge with forest. Thunder pealed
And smell of sea, most full incense,
Struck. I fell forward to nonsense.

I woke in life - reality,
And yet the smell of freshest sea
Did linger for an hour or so
Before with pugnant truth was full.

Now knowing what MY truth can be
I want once more to smell that sea.
Seeing what I see.
Knowing what to be.
Pondering what's true.
This I say to you:

Sanity is now insane.
Our racing thoughts are all made lame.
Reality is all the same.
No differences but name.
I went to be inside myself.
Cut off from this sad world I know.
I fell into the void of me.
And thus became half-whole.






Prophecy
Oh! time doth take away
what hope I had that day
and then it makes me pay
for one bright, shining ray
one glimmer of small hope
but then it made me choke
and cut off my one rope
So I fell and could not cope
and thus I did continue
my emotions and my sinews
were all of them within you
my spirit and my being
did see what you were seeing
and ever was I bringing
my thought transgressed to you
If only then I may
but always speak you "nay!"
and ever you do say
in some newfangled way
that all of my emotion
is only some fake notion
with nothing set in motion
do I need a love potion?
to make you realize
this love that's deep inside
of my entire being
emotion has one meaning






Ready
Oh I came here to think
And I came here to cry
'Cause I'm here at the brink
I'm near ready to die
So tell me what you think
What you hear in my sigh
'Cause I'm here at the brink
And I'm ready to die

I have come here to dwell
On the past of my life
When your life is a hell
What can be true but strife?

As the hope fades to gray
There is nowhere to stay
And the dawn of the day
Is but darknesses ray

Now I know life is dark
And I've seen what is light
But the black left its mark
And there's nothing but night

Will you tell me what's true
'Cause I don't see the way
I was pained to see you
At the dawn of this day

As in grief now I try
I'm near ready to die
And entranced by this lie
There's no way to know why
Oh I came here to think
Will you let me just cry
'Cause I'm here at the brink
And I'm ready to die






River
"Life's like a river" I heard the old man say
"always flowing, just don't get lost along the way.
But there are eddies, twists and turns
And sometimes all whitewater churns
If you get lost, don't worry much
You'll soon again join the whirring rush."
I stopped right then and wondered what.
The old man had just said too much.
Like thoughts, the water can be clear
But also murky spots of fear
But most emotions run blood red
For that is what is right then shed
Take love for instance, that feeling
Is oft to make the songbirds sing
Yet once full-flowerd love can kill
Or bleed the rose yet longer still
And love can cut its object so
That river red with blood runs full.






Rose
A wilted rose: remembrance sweet.
Forgotten lies lie incomplete.
A madness now does grip the soul
And nothing makes me whole.

I'm drunk on life and on this lie.
Now lost in what I've lost, I cry.
Please tell me what is wrong with me.
Why can't I seem to see?

I'm gone and fading to despair.
There is no reason now to care.
Entranced with what I thought I knew
There's nothing that is true.






Satisfaction
What am I but a hollow man
A shell of what I used to be
What is the lie within me
Created by my hand

Existence still is based upon
The self-affirming truth of soul
But lying still can't justify
That bitter, central, hollow whole

Satisfaction crucifies
All my truth, affirms my lies
Satisfaction crucifies
Now you know my true demise

What am I but a hollow man
A shell of fake reality
What is it that you see
Inside the hollow man

The void inside is still my soul
The shell of false reality
The lie inside that makes me whole
The lie that completes me

Satisfaction crucifies
Your soul, and still affirms your lies
Satisfaction crucifies
Now you know you're your demise
Satisfaction crucifies
Satisfaction crucifies
Complacencies immortalized
Satisfaction crucifies
Satisfaction cricifies
My lies






Sea
'Tis fine to see the things at home, in all their majesty
But as for all the beauties there, the ocean waves for me
To feel the fresh wind in your face, there's nothing to compare
At nights, to look up at the sky in wonder, simply stare

Oh land does have some attributes the roaring sea does lack
But why not be a wayfarer the wind blowing your back
And travel o'er the wide, wide world alive and now carefree
And feel the wonders that can be the raging, deep blue sea

Oh scurvy can beset you if you stay aboard too long
But think of all the things you'll see, the symphony, the song
The beauty of the ocean and the beauty of the waves
Just think of all the grace that is how the great sea behaves

A wayfarer, a journeyman, a seaman but no thief
That is the life that I shall live upon the roaring reef
To float my whole entire life that lives before me now
The roaring waves, the raging sea, the captain at the prow!






Search
I'm swimming in the sea of life
and searching for her face
I find I'll ever seek for her
and ponder my disgrace
But will I ever find her?
I cannot now yet tell
I seek, I seek, I find someone
But things are not all well
So ever onward goes my search
Oh will it ever end?
I find myself believing
that she's just around the bend
I can only hope to find her
'fore my search can not go on
But if I do, will she love me too?
or will happiness be gone?






The Serpent Queen
The queen of snakes sits on her throne
And looks out now upon her damned domain.
So serpentine, still coiling through the souls
That are beneath her rule. As black as coals
The damned lie prostrate, solace in their shame.

In the mouths of those yet pale
Words still fall like rain and hail
In that effervescent gale
Sleeps the serpent queen

In the lies that once were said
In the lives that once were shed
In the blood of those who bled
Lies the serpent queen

In the love of those long dead
Time that has achieved Godhead
In that hunger, still unfed,
Lives the serpent queen

She is the serpent queen.
Her love will make you scream.
More beauty there has never been.
'Cause she's the serpent.
She's the Serpent Queen.

In the road and in the river
That can still flow on forever
Eternity will always ever
Be the serpent queen

Tell me muse of this enchantress
And of how, with one sweet kiss,
She sold her soul to be the best
To be the serpent queen

In days long gone, in days forlorn
She met Satan in serpent form
Eternal life, eternal storm
Became the serpent queen

She is the serpent queen
Her love will make you scream
More beauty there has never been
She is eternity
She is the serpent queen

Queen of all damned except her soul.
She lost her life for her control.
Seductress of those dark as coal.
Sweet silence never left her whole.
'Cause she's the serpent.
She's the Serpent Queen.






My Shackles
Now I confess you can read my soul
But I don't know what makes me whole

No matter what you say to me
I'll always know that I'm set free

From the bonds of my imagination
From the wages of my sin
From the fiction of my spoken lies
From the death I feel within

Now I confess you can read my soul
The letters written with my blood
Nobody knows when they're not whole
But I know that I should

Still bound within the hidden chains
The lucid demon within me
I'm free to know all of life's pains
And free to think I'm free

Through pain I feel I know my fate
Through pain, through love and through my hate

I always seem to feel the same
And through my pain I am made whole
With wrists bloodied by hidden chains
Hallucinations of my pains
Reality can't make me whole
Reality is black as coal

The chains still bind my welted wrists
Yet still, so dreamlike, I awake
And wonder, is the dream all this?
Or are my shackles only fake
The way my loneliness now seems
Through jaded eyes, viewing the past
Prolonging pain, making it last.
Fulfilling phantom's might-have-beens

I still confess, you can read my soul.
But I don't know what makes me whole

No matter what you do to me
I'll never change who I think I am
No matter what you do to me
I'll always want to be the same
No matter what, oh can't you see,
I'll still be my reality.






Sing
Will you sing me a song
Will you help me to sleep
Will you tell me I'm wrong
Will you let me just keep

All these dreams that I've had
All these hopes I have lost
All this sorrow I've made
All the pain and the cost

I was turned and was tossed
Till I found one last hope
So I turned then to cross
And I fell then from hope

I was lost and was found
Then I missed wilderness
I was found, became lost
And my life is a mess

Could I see this expression
So clear and so cool
And then lose this inflection
Truth is beauty, you know

If I've lost, then I've won
If I've won, you are lost
If there's something to find
Then the truth can be tossed

If there's something to lose
Let me lose it for you
If I only could choose
Then I'd live what is true

But I cannot decide
When I know not what's true
I can run, but can't hide
From this pain felt from you
Oh how pained I can be
In this world that I see
Oh will I be set free
I am lost in this sea






Smiles
The smiles have long since passed
I know the worlds so vast
My life before me goes
And withers like a rose
I never know the truth
From all their lies uncouth
For all that I could see
Came crashing down on me
The foolishness of youth
Has led me off of truth
And now all that I find
Is ever most unkind
I know the worlds so vast
The smiles have long since passed









Snippets
If there was but the space to describe how I feel
Then the words writ therein would never conceal
The love that is there deep inside of my heart
and the pain that I feel when I see you depart.
But in faith I can know I will see you again
in the places I've been or the places I am,
and in hope and despair intermixed with your voice
I can easily know that I've made the right choice.
If I had the resolve but to see you, my love
Then the words on this page would not be quite in vain.
And I pray every night to the heavens above
Yes, I pray that I might just once see you again.






Snow
The snow is falling faster now, the world will turn to white
Like spirits falling farther down throughout this endless night
A black and white horizon with a blue now turned to gray
The darkness seems to grip the sky and threaten one more day
The winds collide and scream in tongues with flurried, swirling snow
All sky seems filled with countless stars that melt and fall and blow
The stars alight upon the ground and shine with cleansing sheen
And like this falling, fading snow I find my tears washed clean






So Far
I'm so far lost for words
I don't know what to say
I don't know if you heard
But all I think I pray
If what I know is love
Then now I think I know
That by the God above
Love was meant to be so

For desperation, love, and grief
Keep falling like the tree's old leaf
Emotions fade and flower new
But fading feeling seems so true
No light can e'er be known
For those who walk alone
But those who strive for light
Will e'er have tortured sight






Song
I feel so sad
But you're so dear
What's to be had
In all this suffering right here?

I could be wrong
'Cause I'm not right
I sing a song
And make this worse for you tonight

So what is love?
And what friendship?
Will God above
Right now my heart to shreds just rip?

I feel I'm falling through this fire
I feel the temp'rature get higher

Ah do you see?
Or am I blind?
What's wrong with me
That I can think that I'll still find you

I'm a fool
But you knew that
I see the pool
Don't like the image I reflect

So now it's done
And I was wrong
And now I run
And chase at everything that's gone

Oh!
I don't know






Speak
Speak to me, Speak to me, Speak to me
through this noiseless tumult!
Speak to me, Speak to me, Speak to me
Through this looking glass
Will you speak to me?
OH!

can't you know this pain I feel
This pain I feel that I know is real
won't you only speak to me
just speak to me! God just let me see!

Speak to me! Speak to me! Speak to me
Oh why can't I hear your voice?
Speak to me! Speak to me! Speak to me!
Do I have a choice?

Let me only hear you say one word
one word that can be heard
Through cyberspace!
Will you just speak to me? Speak to me!
Let me see what I could be!
If you'd only speak to me!







Spectreland
It's all diffracting
Falling apart
but you can play a different part
in spectreland

In spectreland
You see things
As they aren't
All inversions of the truth to start

In spectreland
The grass is green
The sun is bright and nice and clean

In spectreland
I saw your face
and everything bowed to your grace
Occurences aren't commonplace
in spectreland

In spectreland
My life is fun
No work in spectreland is done
for everything is always gone
in spectreland

The spectre always finds a way
To search your soul and steal away
The spectre has a shadow-hand
The spectre lies in spectreland

In spectreland
My dreams come true
In spectreland
You love me too
In spectreland
The pictures drew
In spectreland
Our visions fade
In spectreland
It's all one shade
It's all the same
There is no shame
You have no name
In spectreland
In spectreland
In spectreland...






Sunrise
I can live for today
I can die for tomorrow
I might find time to say
How I hate all this sorrow

As the rhythm repeats
And the drum beats and beats
As the music completes
All the rain falls in sheets
An embrace in your arms
Makes me safe from all harms
What is there left to say
In the dark of this day

Will you hear my silent cries
You are my sunrise
It should be no surprise
You are my sunrise
I can say no goodbyes
To you, my sunrise

As the rain falls some more
Hear the song in your core
Dreaming dreams dreamt before
I can't cry anymore
Just one kiss in the rain
Washes me of my pain
I can't think what to say
In the dark of the day

Will you hear my silent cries
You are my sunrise
It should be no surprise
You are my sunrise
There can be no goodbyes
To one bright sunrise

If the rain ceased to flow
How I would miss you so
But I don't want to know
All the pain and the woe
As the rain falls in sheets
I am fully complete
And "I love you" I say
In this dazzling day

You have heard my silent cries
You are my sunrise
There is no more surprise
You are my sunrise
I can not say goodbyes
Without tears in my eyes

I can die for today
I can live for tomorrow
I have found time to pray now
And gone is my sorrow






Take Me Away
These delusions of grandeur, they course through my brain
Though some might even call me quite mental, insane!
They might not realize it yet
But I've already placed my bet
And I'm letting love take me away

Take me away
To a beautiful day
To a brand new tomorrow
Not so fraught full with sorrow
Woe be quick to subside
Now I know that they lied
Love, just take me away
To a beautiful day

This great love I have felt, is it fake, is it real?
This great love I have felt, this great love I do feel
I may not realize it now
But I've already made my vow
And I'm letting love take me away

Take me away
To a beautiful day
To a brand new tomorrow
Not so fraught full with sorrow
Woe be quick to subside
Now I know that you cried
Love, just take me away
To a beautiful day

I can hide from myself, I can hide far from you
But that's something I feel that I cannot quite do
I know I find I'm full of fear
But I can't leave you lying here
To die, to shed one more last tear
So I let this love take me away

Take me away
To a beautiful day
To a brand new tomorrow
Without woe, without sorrow
Where no emotions subside
Or ebb away with the tide
Will you take me away
To a beautiful day?
Please just take me away
To a beautiful day






Red Tears
These tears are gripping me
Can nothing save me now?
My life's a raging sea
And there is no way out

This blood's dripping from me
Can I heal these bleeding eyes?
There's nothing left to be
No reason not to cry

Dreams and realities
Distinctions now are gone
There's nothing that can rescue me
I'm lost in this alone

These tears dripping from me
Won't let me go
One storm can flood the sea
And there is nothing left to know

My blood is gripping me
These tears the price of sanity
There's nothing left that I can be
But lost in this, the endless sea
Emotion's grip was the demise
Of faith in this reality
These tears I see now before me
Blood-red, my sacrifice






Time Stood Still
Waiting at the gates of destiny.
Thinking of the things that I can't see.
When thoughts did quickly turn to you
And how I missed you so. 'Tis true
That time stood still.

Trav'ling in the small world that I knew
I chanced upon the beauteous sight of you.
Before I could but speak a word
I found then that my vision blurred
When time stood still.

When after I did see you quickly leave
The next day when I saw you I did grieve.
But when your eye did catch mine too,
I thought that what I felt was true
And time stood still.






Too Late
When the dawn had shed it's first bright light
True bliss was truly mine
When the witching hour had struck twelve strokes
Despair had gripped my mind
I'd thought that only time would tell
I waited far too long
The opportunity did cease
My chance was quickly gone
A sadness quickly fell in place
And tears were in my eyes
I looked upon my sad disgrace
reflected in my sighs
If only I had grabbed the chance
To say I loved her so
IF only I had cast a glance
And laid my cautions low
But NO I never make it work
It never comes out right
Yet eagerly my tears do flow
Now each and every night
IF only I had taken time
And said just "I love you"
If only I had written rhyme
That made those words ring true
But words in person spoken to
A love so wondrous fair
The three small words I know are true
Are all that can lay bare
The raw and perfect feeling of the soul






True Lie
If I could know what truth could be
Then I would tell you so
But all I know is what I see:
My lie has lain me low

But life, so full of harmony
But life, so full of bliss
Is fraught with all that I can't see
When lost within all this

And tell me, love, should I love you
When love does not exist
The one ideal I know's not true
Is shattered with a kiss

If I could trust emotions few
That resonate in me and you
If I could know what I should do
I'd know my choice was true

But soundwaves echo through my soul
And change the tide of thought
And soundwaves shatter, lose control
And I know this is naught

So tell me, love, should I leave you
When life is but a lie
A life away would be too true
A life with you: to cry

In shame to live what I can't hide
A deeper hatred for my pride
I want to be alone. Decide
And tell me what I knew

Oh tell me why I fell for you
Oh tell me what's not true

Speak lies to me, my dark obsession
Tell me what I wish to be
Hate me for my deep transgression
Damn you! SET ME FREE!








Truth
From truth stems grief that bitter foe that kills with but one glance
Griefs not to blame, however, for *you* did with death dance
And from this grief stems bitter lies, designed from utter hate
But hate and love, I'm sure you know, can never satiate
So hate forms grief: a cycle that will never end thus far
And one way out's redemption, but let's not go quite that far
So hate forms grief and grief forms hate and hate can oft form love
That is, the love of self I say, not one that's from above
Then from self-pity starts a search for bitterness in truth
And truly now, I say to you, there's tons of it from youth
So armed with truth, there comes a war and one so quickly finds
That all of it was based upon one small and simple lie
So armed with truth, the legions march(of bitterness and hate)
And realize they don't exist, and cannot satiate
So armed with all the truth, one finds out what a waste of time
This whole thing was, a vicious cycle burning in the mind
From truth stems grief, from grief stems truth, so all of it's a lie
I have to say this bitter day might even make *you* cry






Understand
What can I now write here
Not with pain nor with fear
There is nothing to say
When these tides fall away
When the moon is withdrawn
And the time waits for dawn
There is pain and much fear
In the words now writ here

If the time were just right
For this suffering plight
If the feelings were gone
What remains but the song
What can now just be left
In this cavernous cleft
Of my mind

As I write more and more
I begin just to lose
All the pain that was sore
All the fear that was true

As the feelings go on
I am lost, I am gone
There is nothing now here
But this pain and this fear
Words I write and I wrote
Are now stuck in my throat
And the words just go on
Scribbled fore this dark dawn

It begins to just feel
If the world were not real
We would be better off
Then again, maybe not

But I cannot o'ercome
All these words that just run
On the page, writ in ink
Left to ponder, I think
But I'm wrong, and it's done
And the words see the sun

What is there left to say?
Nothing that I can write
But the dark of this day
Has now come to this night

A sense of loss
I'll bear the cross
I know its true
Though not for you

Don't tell me yet
What I don't get
I know I'm wrong
I'm not yet gone

What's in your mind
That I can't find
Conflicting thoughts
Are wrongly wrought

As the tide ebbs away
and the moon shines so gray
As the words fade away
All these feelings can't stay
There is darkness today
In this fictional fray






Vampire
She walks under the moonlit sky
Looking for her love
Looking back and looking forth
The stars shine bright above

A certain evil grace within
Her dark and frosted soul
A vampirical beauty
That makes mens bodies cold

She is the one seductress
She sold her soul for life
A plague upon all simple men
Who fall for her each night






Vein
Feel it racing through your blood.
Live life like you never should.
Experience that unknown thing.
Indulge your pleasure in this sting.

There's a hole; there's a vein.
It's no game; there's no gain.
There's a needle, some pain
Then you're high and insane.

Just a touch and then you're gone.
You're lost in madness's sad song.

You can never have enough
Until you've had too much.
Then fully satisfied,
There's nothing more inside.

With nothing else but what you live,
Your life, your lie, is what you give.
You take the plunge and pray for pain
If only just to know you're sane.

Feel it racing through your veins
And see this sanity's bloodstains.
But once you see, your mind is clear
And as the end is rushing near;
When suddenly you feel your fear;
You shed your final tear.






Vision
The fire was out, the flame was gone
But one small shaft of sun yet shone
And that one shaft did make a hole
In that dark dungeon of my soul
I saw it as it broke that crust
And cast into the air was dust
Into that hole my hand did thrust
And deep inside that hole I found
The rarest treasure all around
A butterfly that spoke one sound
And "love" it said, then it was bound
Into the air and off it went
As if it were from heaven sent
The wind picked up, with newfound hope
My dungeon fell away to smoke
I found myself then in a meadow
And that was when I saw her shadow
Her silhouette was beautious fair
And blowing in the wind, her hair
Was moving with such perfect grace
It was then that I saw her face
It was the most enchanting thing
I'd ever seen. But then the ring
Did catch my eye. On her finger there,
A golden band with fiery flair.
But then and there she heaved a sigh
So fraught with woe, she began to cry
But my dark face must have caught her eye
For when she simply turned around
My heart began to leap and bound
And then I caught sight of her name
But NO! she couldn't be the same
As the other person that I knew
Of that same name, could it be true?
Her name was carved there in a tree
So that anyone who wished to see
Would simply look and know 'twas she.
Her hair was darker than before
But her beauty was all there. And sore
Was I to see her go with wind
That did begin to blow. So pinned
Against a wall behind me there
Forlorn with loss then I did dare
To scream into the wind with pain
Her one eternal lovely name






The Wanderer(unfinished)
In the land of Asgaroth
A drifter once was found
He travelled here and travelled there
And was not well renowned
But for the few who knew him
For lack of any name
Did all decide to call him
"The Wanderer"
--------------
Upon the Wanderer's hand
Lay one small simple band
Silver and red intertwined
With such ethereal grace you'd find
Only in the realm of Tur
For Tur is where the Dwarf-Smiths dwell
And wrought using the flames of hell
Such beautious jewelry they forge
As only found across the gorge
That separates the lands of men
From the accursed land of dwarves
--------------
He carried always with him
A staff of reddened hue
Carved out of a mighty oak
and finely detailed too
A pipe with a tobacco pouch
was always at his side
The pipe was made of earthen clay
It's weed the finest kind
--------------
The wanderer wore a cloak of gray
And everywhere he'd go to stray
He had no home to call his own
His friends were very few
--------------
Most people did avoid him
And his darkened countenance
For maybe something in his walk
Or something in his glance
Did have a sort of glitter
That could catch men off their guard
And due to all his wandering
His cloak was very marred
An earthenness did follow him
Wherever he would go
A seeming short fresh scent of trees
A power seemed to flow
Around his very being all
Would find a certain peace
An inner glow, they seemed to know
He was not what he seemed.
---------------
When many folk will gather round
To hear many a tale
The talk will often chance upon
The wanderer. But all fail
Who do attempt to but describe
The man they thought they knew.
The grey-cloaked man, with iron hand
and staff of reddenned hue.
---------------
The wand'rers tale begins upon
An evening such as this
A passioned breeze did blow so full
The rain the ground did kiss
The wand'rer was then in a town
And "Tarnun" was it's name
He thought he must look out of place
And many thought the same
Eventually he found an inn
And thought he'd stay the night
He went to have a good night's rest
His eyes were soon shut tight
When struck the clock-tower twelve strokes
The town was in uproar
But as to why, I guess I'll try
To explain the reason for
Such panic striking in this place
In hearts both old and young
To help you understand it all
To past we must now run
---------------









Wander Extended
I've known the pain of paradise
I've felt the wrath of god
I am a wandering wayfarer
Alone and meekly shod

I've wandered in this fallen world
For longer than you'd know
I've lasted through these winters white
I've fought many a foe

Forgotten, now, my purpose is
But once was one I knew
I search for something I don't know
And see my findings few








Wonder
I'm used to just speaking my mind.
And then losing this innocence
But I'm searching for what I can't find.
I'm searching for this one last dance.

I'm hoping I can reconcile
My feelings though it's been a while.
And I hope that what I said to you
Is something that you see is true.

I'm wandering through this city too.
I'm wondering what I've done to you.
I'm sorry if you didn't see
My words as what they meant to me.

Red light in the city street.
Happiness seems bittersweet.
and I've read your letters through and through.
I'm wondering what to say to you.

This distance, it is killing me.
It blinds me so I cannot see.
Do you really need to be so far
away from me, a shining star.

I know the past cannot be changed
But maybe we could rearrange.
Can things be how they used to be?
I know that now I must seem strange.










You(Inspired by the Smashing Pumpkins song: "Wound")
There's nothing that you'll take from me
But nothing I won't give for you
There's nothing else to be
But what I see in you

Crowned, I will crawl
Risen, I will fall
Ruined, I will rise
Damned, I will die

For you, I love
I tear my heart out
For you, I love
I search for doubt

I see death in your eyes
And stare down deeper to your soul
I finally realize
That you cannot control

'Cause
The damned dare to die
The ruined, raging, rise
The risen still will fall
And crowned, you still crawl

I see death in your eyes
And see you steal into my soul
I finally realize
That I cannot control

In you, I love
You tear my heart out
And you, my soul
can't live without

You stole my heart away
And damned my life into your soul
I only want to say
That you have all control

For I'm
Damned, I dare to die
Now ruined, I will rise
Crowned, I still crawl
I've risen, and I fall

For you
I bear this crown of thorns
And see the bloodstained tears of rain
I always will adore
The way you brought me pain

For you

I cannot bear to see
You one more day away from me

For you

I damn the heart you stole
And damn my tortured soul

For you

I beg the moon to rise
And be witness to my demise

For you

I find that i have won
And, damned, my life is gone










Worth
Life's a lie, love's a drug
Asking "why" is too much
Don't ask me, ask yourself
Is your life worth your help

Is your love my sunshine
Is your life still your crime
Is the sky really blue
Is life worth what you knew

Was your fall vast and bright
Resolute in what's right
Was your fall worth the end
Is your life worth Godhead

Were you worthy to be
In life's insanity
Are you worth what you know
Is your life worth death's foe

Your bright smile on the world
Burned in blood and in pearl
Perished with your fell fall
Was your life worth it all

There was only so much
That your life couldn't touch
But your death touched your fall
Was your death worth it all

















Storm

A cloud drifts in the stormy skies
A grain of sand falls in the hour glass
Reality is formed from "why?"s
As life is drifting in the unknown past

A raindrop falls inside my soul
The sands of time shift from their slumbering
The searing pain now makes me whole
And lulls me back to my reality

The somber slumber of the past
A life unlived; a life so vast
The storm of my regret breaks here
Within one soul-felt crimson tear

The twilight seeps into the ground
The colors fade from their enduring stay
All lightning's lullabies resound
And once more, pain is showing me the way

Time finds its way into my mind
And shows me all the thoughts I threw away
The lives that I will never find
Shown splendored in their sentimental sway

The somber slumber of the past
The life unlived. The die was cast
The moon of my regret rises
From the world of ignorance

Innocence is bliss
But ignorance is death
Innocence was frozen
When all you had was wisdom on your breath
Experience was the poison
That you could not resist

Your somber slumber still will last
In the world that now has passed
The cloud of my regret rains here
Among my crystal crimson tear







Shadows
I've been walking these paths since the time I was born
The shifting of leaves disturbing the peace. I am done.
I've been following circles concentric and torn
The fracturing light engulfing the night from the sun

I've retraced all my steps since the time I began
The changing of season, forgetting the reason I'm here
I've forgotten the hope of the innocent man
Forgetting the soul, never knowing the whole that I fear

But in the night, in the silver light
Only then, I know true sight
And I find a way out
And I seek a way in
And I know all the doubt
For the sweeter the sin
The bitter the taste in my mouth
This bittersweet taste of regret

And I'm walking these paths in the name of my cries
The brand of my knowledge is burned on the tail of instinct
I've been hunting emotion with reason for eyes
The knowledge of hopelessness now in my mind is extinct

But in the night, in the silver light
Only then, I know true sight
And I find a way out
And I seek a way in
And I know all the doubt
For the sweeter the sin
The bitter the taste in my mouth
This bittersweet taste in my mouth

And in the night, in the silver light
Only then, I know true sight
I seek the way in
With dilated eyes
Reason too used
To the darkness that lies
Like a tomb before me
And a path behind
My emotion: my stream
Of consciousness








Emotional Tide
The sky is clouded over with the imminent rain
The world is dissolving as the water is pain
My soul is rebuilt, but it washes away
The emotional tide blotting out the new day

How many times must I lose my soul?
How many times must I lose control?
How many times will death take its toll?
How many times must I not be whole?

Tidal wave of loneliness crashes on my shore
Sandcastles imagined once are gone forever more
Looking for the answer where the books have all been burnt
Relapse into nothingness, the one thing left that hurts

How many times must I lose my soul?
How many times must I lose control?
How many times will death take its toll?
How many times? Will I never be whole?

Silver light shines down upon the blank and moonlit beach
Ashes of my soul are almost left within my reach
Pressure of emotion crushing down upon my life
Diamonds come from burning ruin. Diamonds come from strife.

How many times have I lost my soul?
How many times did I lose control?
How many times did death take its toll?
How many times?
How many times?
How many times have I almost been whole?









Egocentrifuge
I'm defined by what I see around me
I'm defined by what I choose to see
I'm defined by ideals that sleep ever soundly
I'm defined by who I don't want to be

I'm lost in a darkness created by lies
I'm wandering, aimlessly, lost in the cries
I hear all their calling, and heed not their voice
I know what I'm doing is my only choice

I'll let them take the easy path
I'll let them win for free
While I endure God's just, true wrath
I've brought it down on me

I've chosen a path that they never did choose
I've owned what they ever have wanted to lose
I chose what would give me a justice in life
I chose what humanity thinks of as strife

I wander the crooked, the narrow, the true
I've lost the idea of where I've gone to
I've chosen to redefine straight for myself
And find one true goal. I will do nothing else

I'll let them take the straighter path
I'll let them live for free
And I'll endure God's just, true wrath
I'll earn the right to be

I'll let them define me
As whate'er they see
I'll earn my own right
I will know what is me
I'll conquer my justice
Destroy vanity
I'll conquer myself
As a blind man will see









Shadow, Sin, Love(Inspired by "Nine Inch Nails")
Why can't the world just let me be?
Why won't everything leave me alone?
Why can't I feed upon my hate in peace
The only part of me that is my own

Hate me! Crush me! Kill me now!
Strike your heart into love's cold, hard ground

Why do I choose to live and ask
All questions in my hollow, empty cries
The lie I live was once only my mask
Why is the world that which I most despise

Yeah, I'm asking you to
Hate me!
I'm asking you to
Crush me! Kill me now!
Oh! I'm asking you to
Strike your heart
Even deeper
Into love's cold, hollow ground
I'm asking you to
Leave your love
In the dust
To burn the diamond
Of your lust
Hate the death
You see in me
I'll hate a world
Willing to set free
Yeah, I'm asking you
Asking you
Asking you
To let me be
To
Burn your love
Burn your love
Burn your love

Why does life still go on in me
Why can't I seem to seem so free
This lie I live forever's what I'll be
Yeah, what I am is all I'll ever see

Hate me! Crush me! Kill me now
Strike my heart out through love's hollow ground
Into that void of space
Where I'm not out of place
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Postby prmiller » Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:40 pm

Adam's Attempt(song) /Annotated

I know it's just out of my reach
So as I try to reach too high
I'm falling to the floor
Falling from the fruit I seek
I tried to reach too high
I'm always wanting more (The emotion surfacing here
is poignant, if not fatalistic)
This wasteland of the truly weak
This bitterness seems barely bleak (Interesting homage to
T.S. Eliot)
I just wanna
I just wanna know what's true
But I don't wanna
I don't wanna fall from you (Who is the 'you'? Is it that
open-ended? One beloved,
I'm damned if it's my destiny The Beloved?)
But would you only tell me why
I can't seem to see

The difference between you and me
This apple in my hand
Can't care for your command

And as I am enslaved to sin
I feel so withered deep within
This bitterness is in my mouth (OK...we have six lines
I think I've finally figured out then a rhyming couple before the
chorus...am I moving along the
That I don't wanna same track? It is a starkly Biblical
I don't wanna know this truth song, but would I be right in
I just wanna thinking the you is a You, the You?)
I just wanna be like you
I don't wanna
I don't wanna fall from you

(Lyrics are so deeply and intensely personal, reflecting the outcry,
the outreaching yearning of the lyricist. In that regard, I am wearing
your skin, you feelings. I can only imagine that the cadence of the
music matches the intriguing rhythm of the poetry. One line that
strike me intensely is "I feel so withered deep within." Our character,
having eaten, is not full, but empty, not whole, but withered. The very
antithesis of what was sought; having reached, falls. Powerful stuff!)

I shall return to think on the others...step by step.

For you ...
My heart has also known that pain
described as fruits best left alone,
that having sampled, wish again,
it was not food, but only stone.
Yet out of what has poisoned me
a newer strength has risen deep
I have no more naivete,
discretions guard and wisdoms keep.

Bright blessings,
Parm :)

Postscript...after seeing what was posted

My comments, I had intended to be flush right of your poem,
not interfering with its flow, but moving alongside of it,
like the word "paraclete" implies, "one who comes alongside".

I am so very sorry this did not happen.

I hope my comments, though, are of some value.
We poets are both brave and frightened at the same time...
bravely presenting our words, frightened that some may not like
what we bring, and that the criticism may hurt and keep us from
writing again.

Let me be clear: I am here as a fellow poet, reflecting along with you
what I see, what I appreciate, what strikes me as conflicting, and what
I enjoy. We may want a strong voice to tell us we are not doing well,
but once the voice comes, we sometimes hate it for having spoken thus.

Even so, we are not publishing our works here. We are letting each other
in on our private worlds of thought. If, however, we were to move from
this kind of sharing, we would have to put on different clothes, and take
on different roles, and roll up our sleeves and get to work on fixing
things. I do not think the boards here should serve as that sort of thing.
I do think; however, that the boards do serve as a place, much like
the Bird and the Baby, where the writers brought what they had written,
were ready for the friendly criticisms, and then ready to take their
works back home again, and work on them a bit more, if necessary or
desired.

Thus said, I move on to enjoy more of your works, Navi

Post on! Post on!

Brighter blessings,
Parm :)
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prmiller
I am Parm: Servant of Eru, Bard of Imladris

 
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A thousand, thousand slimy things were there and thus was I

Postby Navi » Fri Oct 22, 2004 1:01 pm

Once again, I apologize for posting more than 150 poems all at one time...

I thank thee parm, once more 'tis true
For condescending words from you
That I do quite deserve

I welcome comments critical
I won't condemn a word of truth
I am always willing to fall
And criticize my works of youth


I once more bid thee to forgive
I have transgressed the soul of law
And selfishly, I have posted
A superfluous count you saw


On my first alphabetic writ
'Tis modelled rather biblically
I say how man shall, having bit
Forever chase mortality

Man, having wronged desires again
To fall once more. To bite more sin.

Unto that selfsame spot walks man
And, from innocence, falls again.

Yet what stems from his fallenness?
Regret, and "How could happen this?!"

Indignant, man cries out to God
And curses him for what he's shod
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Postby prmiller » Sun Oct 24, 2004 7:58 pm

How well your truth is thus displayed
and by such artful words arrayed.
Though brevity may show some wit,
I scarce can post this little bit.
Yet, when more time appears this way
I shall return, with more to say.

Bright blessings,
Parm :)
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prmiller
I am Parm: Servant of Eru, Bard of Imladris

 
Posts: 7251
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Postby prmiller » Sun Oct 24, 2004 7:58 pm

So neither space nor time feel waste
and though I come in wearied haste
I am most glad for Navi here
and poems made as peer to peer.

Bright blessings,
Parm :)
Last edited by prmiller on Mon Oct 25, 2004 8:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
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I am Parm: Servant of Eru, Bard of Imladris

 
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Postby Navi » Sun Oct 24, 2004 9:28 pm

I am prolific, more than 'tis good
I write too much, more than I should
And then I plague the eyes of those
Who wonder at the words transposed



On the Idiocy of Emotion

Rip my heart out of my life
Kill the source of all my strife
Destroy what I have known of me
Destroy what e'er I'm wont to be
God dam this lightened artistry

From out the bourne of time and place
Was ushered forth God-given grace
But why, yes why was e'er it done?
That man once more could see the sun?
Despise what life could never give
And kill the heart that first would live
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Postby prmiller » Sun Oct 31, 2004 7:06 am

Navi
...On the Idiocy of Emotion...
Maybe I am getting world-weary, but I liked the inner-cry wrapped within
the shell of the outer-cry of this poem. By this I mean that when a poem
is a kind of raving against the tensions that assail us all, there is, far
deeper, I believe, a hidden mourner, an unseen griever, who inspires
us to write. I believe inspired by a Being, and that Being is in union with the Creator/Redeemer Presence. The One who creates the moanings and
utterances that our heart makes about the world, and translates them into poetry, and that poetry into petitions to an Ear, Who hears more than weare able to say and understand more than what we can cry out.

It is also nearly midnight as I write this, a time when I am particularly
of a melancholic bent.
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