Guild of Madness and Ultimate Insanity (2nd Coming)

The varied peoples of Middle-earth at times found unity in their pursuits, and all too often experienced deep rifts. Engage in lively conversations as we banter about the differences between the Alliances, and recruit for our People as well. Remember, keep it friendly.

Postby MariaHobbit » Thu May 29, 2003 12:34 pm

Themedes said:<i>The wind is the wind of things greater than any of us.</i><BR><BR>OH NO! NOT a big wind!!!<BR><BR><i>*A big, huge, gigantiferous wind suddenly blows up out of nowhere and blows LadyKat and Chameleon away on their cloud, dropping spoons all the way!*</i><BR><BR>Follow those spoons! <BR><BR><i>*Maria pulls Themedes and Ayslhyn into the already overcrowded dune buggy and tears off after the cat_and_chameleon_bearing cloud disappearing swiftly into the west.*</i><BR><BR>Stop messing with that time machine, Muad-Dib! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-mad.gif"border=0> We'll never catch up with them if we go bouncing all over time again!<BR><BR><i>*The dune buggy goes briefly airborne as they crest a small hill and continue their pursuit of LadyKat and Chameleon.*</i><BR><BR>
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Postby Muad-Dib » Thu May 29, 2003 7:37 pm

Why should I turn it off? I can just freeze them like the Jabberwok. In fact I'll do that now!<BR><BR>*Muad-Dib fiddles with the machine and things begin to behave oddly. Muad-Dib continues to work on the box without noticing it*<BR><BR>No, that won't do it...<BR><BR>*A nearby rock started falling into the sky, a squirrel spit a nut out of its mouth and carefully placed it on a tree, time seemed to flow both directions at once. Finally Muad-Dib looks up and notices the problem*<BR><BR>Things are getting out of hand, I had better set up a normal time-zone arround us and Ladykat and Chameleon.<BR><BR>*A few seconds later everything freezes in place except for the buggy, the loonies in the buggy, and the loonies in the clouds.<BR><BR>Uh oh, I think I just caused a system crash. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif"border=0> <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif"border=0> <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif"border=0>
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Postby Themedes » Fri May 30, 2003 12:20 am

Oh there´s going to be a crash all right...<BR><BR><i>*Stands behind Muad-Dib and raises a huge rubber mallet, ready to swing*</i><BR><BR>Just one more test subject and my control group will be ready...
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Postby Chameleon » Sun Jun 01, 2003 8:48 am

<BR>Chame blinked as her body was frozen, unfrozen, and all sorts of odd things. <BR><BR>"oooh fun fun stuff" she chortled, tucking into a lazy backwards roll. As the buggy swung into view, she saw Themedes raise his mallet. Then she was facing the other way. When next she saw the buggy, Muad-Dib was slumped on the ground, Themedes grinning wickedly, and the black box was spinning out of control. <BR><BR>A wayward eagle spotted it, and swooped down and nabbed it in its mouth, the dials spun, and everything went to the cats. <BR><BR><BR><BR>Blinking, all the loonies saw gigantic kitty-cats picking them up. They were all nabbed on the back of the neck, and carried aroundlike kittens. Chame looked at LK, wondering if she could talk to these gigantiferous cats when they started talking to the loonies...<BR><BR>"Well, fancy you guys showin up just now. It being tea time and all... Do join us for some <i>scrumptous</i> cakes?"<BR><BR>The loonies all nodded vigorously, yummmm, cake!!<BR><BR>The saw the table then, and the CAKES!! Considering that the cats were gigantic, it really should not have been a surpirse to find gigantic cakes as well. The cakes were the size of a large dining table. And there were 42 cakes.<BR><BR><i>Oh bliss!</i><BR><BR><BR>~Chame~
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Postby Muad-Dib » Sun Jun 01, 2003 7:11 pm

*Muad-Dib stand up rubbing his head and glares at the eagle*<BR><BR>Every time I get a cool gadget something comes and takes it away! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-mad.gif"border=0> <BR><BR>Oh! Giant cakes! *GASP!* Forty-Two of them! What a stange coincidence... <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0><BR><BR>*Walks over to one of the cakes and starts eating*<BR><BR>Wow, these cakes are really big. Hmm that gives me an idea. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-devil.gif"border=0> <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-devil.gif"border=0><BR><BR>*Muad-Dib somehow manages to pick up one of the gigantic cakes and lobs it at Themedes. As that particular cake had cream filling it explodes on impact covering him with goey chocolate cream.<BR><BR>HA HA! Hit <b>ME</b> with giant rubber mallets will you?! HAHAHAHA! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-devil.gif"border=0> <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-devil.gif"border=0>
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Postby Ladykat » Mon Jun 02, 2003 1:19 pm

*The wind is blowing the smoke cloud carrying LK and Chame closer to the ground, but still out of reach of the loonies. Grabbing her toes, LK turns slow, lazy circles in the air. Suddenly things begin to flicker and freeze, like watching things in a strobe light. An eagle swoops out of nowhere narrowly missing LK and Chame. Spinning in the eagle's updraft, LK looks down and sees some of her supersize cousins taking the loonies to tea. Shouting and waving, she gets the attention of one of the large cats, who reaches up and pulls her and Chame out of the cloud.*

Hiya cuzz!! How's it goin?

*LK and the cat are soon engaged in cat gossip, while Chame hurries over to sprinkle mini-marshmallows on a chocolate-covered Themedes. The other loonies are happily diving into the cakes, wearing teacups on their heads, and pouring tea on one another.*

LK
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Postby Eoywen » Sat Jun 07, 2003 8:09 pm

*Flys in on a giant flying fish, chased by a swarm of lk's cousins* HI! IM BACK! miss me? <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0>
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Postby Tari-Idril_O-Estel » Sun Jun 08, 2003 2:03 pm

Tari walks over to the yellow chimp and orders a cosmopolitan. <BR> <BR>sits in beach chair. <BR> <BR><i>ahhhhhh</i> <BR> <BR><i>we all live in the yellow submarine, the yellow submarine, the yellow submarine. <BR>hmmmm hmmmm hmmmm, hmmm, hmm, hm hm hm hm hmmm. <BR>hmmmm hmm hmm hmmm hm hm hm, hm hm hm hm hm hm.....</i> <BR> <BR><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-cool.gif"border=0>Tari <BR>
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Postby Tari-Idril_O-Estel » Sun Jun 08, 2003 5:24 pm

sips drink <BR> <BR>American womaaann, stay away from meeeeeeeeee <BR>American Womaaann, mama let me beeeeee. <BR>Don't go hangin round my door, <BR>i don't wanna see your face no more <BR>na na na na na naa naaaaa <BR>cause there's no way i'm comin home with you..... <BR>now womaaan na na na na naaaaaaaaaa... <BR> <BR>sip, sip, <BR> <BR><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-cool.gif"border=0>Tari
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Postby Ladykat » Mon Jun 09, 2003 8:10 am

<i>*Elle is beating her flying fish with a feather, trying to make him land so she can have some cake. The fish, seeing all the huge cats chasing him, is trying to gain altitude. Suddenly, all the cats stop and clap their paws over their ears. There is a loud, screechy, fingernails-on-a-blackboard sound coming from nearby. The cat gossiping with LK points at Tari, and asks, "Is she in pain?"*</i> <BR> <BR>Naww, she's just singing....I think. We'll stuff her mouth with cake, douse her with tea, and throw her in the ocean. Not necessarily in that order. <BR> <BR><i>*Maria, Lotrgrrrl, Mak, and several other loonies grab eggbeaters, lima beans and porcupine quills, and converge on Tari.*</i> <BR> <BR>LK
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Postby Tari-Idril_O-Estel » Mon Jun 09, 2003 12:06 pm

Tari seeing Maria, Lotrgrrrl, Mak, and several of the other loonies with there eggbeaters, lima beans and porcupine quills, Calls on her Lama for protection. <BR> <BR>remembering the ferosciousness of the last time the loonies saw the Lama in action (when he mistook the Jabberwok for a butterfly) they rationally stop dead in there tracks. <BR> <BR>Huddling together, they are forced to think of a plan B <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0> <BR> <BR><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-cool.gif"border=0>Tari <BR> <BR>
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Postby Tari-Idril_O-Estel » Mon Jun 09, 2003 12:12 pm

sip sip, <BR> <BR>Look for the Bear Necessities <BR>the simple bear necessities <BR>forget about your worries and your strife.<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif"border=0> <BR>I mean the BEAR necessities to put your mind at rest and ease na na na na na na naana nana na-- do do-- ya! <BR> <BR> <BR>sip sip <BR>*giggling from 4th cosmopolitan...as Yellow chimp brings Tari a fifth.* <BR> <BR>Thank you cheetah<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif"border=0> where's Tarzan???? *giggles* <BR> <BR><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-cool.gif"border=0>Tari
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Postby lotrgrrrl » Mon Jun 09, 2003 11:15 pm

*throws a few spoons at Tari from a safe distance* <BR> <BR>*lotrgrrrl burrows her way out of a large chocolate éclair, occasionally hitting Mak over the head with a teacup just for fun* <BR> <BR>*hums a merry little unbirthday tune* <BR> <BR>The large cats seem to be behaving rather strangely which, all things considered, must be perfectly normal. Parts of their bodies keep disappearing and reappearing at various times, so that at any stage there is anything from a leering grin to a tail hovering in the air. The two-headed green horse is most amused by this, and puffs deeper on his cigar to try and muffle his giggles from the other loonies. <BR>Lotrgrrrl assumes Maud-dib is still messing with his black box, the thought of multiple enlarged Cheshire cats never crossing her mind <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> <BR> <BR>Someone insists on moving down, and so lotrgrrrl relocates her self from the éclair to a rather scrummy looking chocolate marshmallow cake. But as she sticks her finger in the icing a cry of pain makes it apparent that Themedes doesn’t appreciate having his eye poked. <BR>Really, what can you expect when you’re hogging the biggest spoon? <BR> <BR> <BR>* lotr_grrrl * <BR><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-crying.gif"border=0> <b>R.I.P. Ancalagon_the_Black 20/5/2003</b> <BR><a target=new href="http://www.tolkienonline.com/thewhitecouncil/messageview.cfm?catid=40&threadid=67125">http://www.tolkienonline.com/thewhitecouncil/messageview.cfm?catid=40&threadid=67125</a> <BR>~Member of the extensive family of Vana & B25 <BR>~Weilder of Ithilmîr, the Moon Ring of Moods <BR>~I’m not crazy, I’m just a sane person trapped in the body of a lunatic. See myself, Moonbeam and Mak at The Guild of Madness and Ultimate Insanity if you don’t believe me. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> <BR>~Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! OY OY OY! (don't hold our Prime Minister against us) - The Great Aussie Guild <BR>~Elaine_of_Astolat – eternally devoted lady of Sir Muccamukk <BR>(The Guild of Knightless Ladies and Ladyless Knights) <BR>~Híril – second bow Fantasy Warrior.
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Postby Ladykat » Tue Jun 10, 2003 6:20 am

*Tari continues to drink and sing, the more she drinks the worse she sounds. LK, Maria and Chame huddle whispering together as LK's cousins hiss "can't someone shut her up?" Maria darts behind a sand dune and reappears holding a large mirror. Chame reaches into her vest and pulls out......a pair of pajamas!! Bright purple silk with pink stripes and little orange flowers. The llamas eyes light up. Grabbing the pajamas from Chame, he puts them on, and begins to admire himself in the mirror.*

Told you! Llamas love pajamas. He won't do anything to get his new pajamas dirty, besides, he can't tear himself away from the mirror. Soooooooo.........

*The big cats begin to grin as the other loonies turn back to Tari, but before anyone can do anything, Elle and her flying fish crash into Tari's chair, sending them all sprawling in the sand. The fish flops frantically towards the water, and Elle leaps to her feet throwing sand in Tari's hair.*


"FISH!" screams Elle, "fish, fish, fish, fish, FISH!!!! Everyone should ride......a..........FISH!!"

*Flinging herself on the nearest cake, she begins to eat.*
Well, thats taken care of. Pass the cake, cuzz.

LK
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Postby ciaratheorceater » Thu Jun 12, 2003 3:08 pm

(Ok sorry if you read the earlier version- I have no idea how that happened! I'll try again) <BR> <BR><i> Ciara wanders over wearing a elizabethan dress that makes her waist look about two inches, an oversized roman helmet with a huge plume obstructing her "Vision"(an eyepatch and an eye covered in orange goo), and a pair of psychedelic space boots with built in turbl power and a milkshake maker in the soles</i> <BR> <BR>Hi! Sorry bout that!! I got waylaid by a rogue force from the time machine that made me flip through time untill eventually I had to stick a smelly man's head down a toilet to make his life flash before his syes so I could get home (Blackadder anybody?) <BR> <BR>Oh my GOD!! You time warped without me!! But that means a tiger somewhere east of the pacific went instantly bald!!! Poor thing- he'll be wanting compensation. <BR> <BR>( I went to see the Rocky Horror Show a couple of weeks ago- It was incredible!!! So many loonies in one room- sheer bliss!! And Rocky was sooo camp- it was so cute! Anyway, moving swiftly on) <BR> <BR>So... big cats. Chocolate eclairs. I smell a rat <BR> <BR><i> A small, smelly man sidles up</i> <BR> <BR>Oh. It's you. <BR> <BR><i> He smiles greasily and transforms into a gigantic dog with three heads (cerberus?). And the stench only gets worse</i>
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Postby lotrgrrrl » Tue Jun 17, 2003 5:47 am

Moonbeam fights himself to a conscious level and peers out through lotrgrrrl's eyes to see if the three-headed dog is some long-lost relation of his.<BR>The stench, however, is far too overpowering and Moonbeam joins the giant cats in making a hasty retreat.<BR><BR>Mak sidles up to the three-headed dog and starts surreptitiously spraying a deodoriser around.<BR><i>*dives for cover into the cupcake standing beside the Themedes-dessert*</i><BR>It seems he's not so fond of 'floral boutique'...<BR><BR>Honestly Ciara? Didn't the horse ever tell you that if you mix corsets and helmets you're going to have to suffer the consequences?<BR><i>*The green horse claps several hooves over his two pairs of eyes in horror as the smelly man come smelly dog sidles up to ciara and offers a bag of rotten banana skins as her dowry*</i><BR><BR>* lotr_grrrl * <BR>~Member of the extensive family of Vana & B25 <BR>~Weilder of Ithilmîr, the Moon Ring of Moods <BR>~I’m not crazy, I’m just a sane person trapped in the body of a lunatic. See myself, Moonbeam and Mak at The Guild of Madness and Ultimate Insanity if you don’t believe me. <BR>~Vegemite, fairy bread, Tim-Tams and doobysnax - The Great Aussie Guild <BR>~Elaine_of_Astolat – eternally devoted lady of Sir Muccamukk <BR>(The Guild of Knightless Ladies and Ladyless Knights) <BR>~Híril – second bow Fantasy Warrior<BR>R.I.P. Ancalagon_the_Black 20/5/2003
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Postby Ladykat » Tue Jun 17, 2003 6:52 pm

<i>*The loonies are reeling from the stench of the dogman. (mandog?) The cakes begin to shrivel and melt, the tea to evaporate. LK and her cousins withdraw to the edge of the forest, the big cats fading rapidly in and out leaving snarls behind instead of the usual Chessie-cat grins.* </i><BR><BR>Geez, Ciara, can't you get your friend to stand downwind? About five miles downwind? Or maybe you could run him through a carwash. <i>(looks at one of her cousins)</i> Is there a carwash nearby?<BR><BR><i>*LK's cousin nods yes. The loonies, clothespins on their noses, grab ropes and start trying to lasso the three-headed dog.*</i><BR><BR>We'll hitch him to the back of the dune buggy and drag him through the car wash. He can't marry Ciara smelling like that.<BR><BR>LK
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Postby MariaHobbit » Thu Jun 19, 2003 8:56 am

<i>Marry?</i><BR><BR>He's going to <i>marry</i> Ciara? Does Ciara know about this? <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif"border=0><BR><BR>
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Postby ciaratheorceater » Thu Jun 19, 2003 1:55 pm

NO I DO NOT!!!! Just because he offers me a dowry does not mean I will marry him you know!!!! I'm not an easy loony! He may have the advantage of being able to turn into a savage monster at times but that does not constitute a reason for marriage!!! I mean honestly!<BR><BR><i> The big man-dog gives a pathetic wine</i><BR><BR>Oh shut up! What did you think- that I'd fall head over heels with a smelly beast like you? I'm mightily displeased with this situation! Now change back into a man and get in that car-wash!! Or I will shove this dowry down your throat until you turn bright green and die of explosion of the stomach!!!<BR><BR><i> The dog again becomes a man, looking distinctly miffed at the strangely clad loony's tirade. Trailing lassoes, with loonies still hanging grimly on, he trudges off to the carwash</i><BR><BR>Men! Such babies!<BR><BR><i> Purple steam begins to emit from the car-wash, coupled with screams of anguish that sound like a donkey being eaten by a gnu, and denote a tremendous transformation of some kind. The loonies breathe freely as the stench magically disappears. A figure can begin to be made out through the lilac fog</i><BR><BR>So? What do you have to say for yourself?<BR><BR><i> A familiar voice rings out through the sunny morning:</i> Forgive me fair lady. A shadow and a threat grew in my mind, and it seems that it was a small smelly man possessing me. Rest assured, he is gone, thanks to your bravery, and that of your... strange friends.<BR><BR><i> The figure steps out of the steam, and Ciara stifles an amazed gasp as Legolas appears, bow and all</i><BR><BR>So, umm... I graciuosly accept your thanks- twas a small task to be repaid by such eloquent thanks from such a fine specemin of manhood. So, are you single? If not, I can fix that.
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Postby Tari-Idril_O-Estel » Thu Jun 19, 2003 6:37 pm

Tari, still reeling from her collision with Elle, sits on a near by rock picking sand out of her hair--totally oblivious to what's going on with the other loonies.<BR><BR>Near by: ciara is throwing a fit, apparently making a dog cry--then proceeds to hit on my husband. Legolas then informs Ciara of our relationship. Ciara starts to cry...<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-crying.gif"border=0> and begins to reconsider the dogmans proposal, thinking that it's more likely to get struck by lightening then to get married after 35. but considering where she is...anything could happen<BR><BR>"tsk tsk" Tari thinks. then seeing Elle harrassing the fish and recalling the events previous to her being nocked out; where the Llama was brutally crushed by Elle's hairy feet. she wonders if the Loonies have an animal complex.<BR><BR><BR>"good thing Piggy isn't here" she accidentally thinks out loud.<BR>Lotrgrrrl (with a big grin)then informing her, in a matter-of-fact way, 'Oh but he is my dear fellow Loonie": pointing to a rosted little boy on a Rotisserie pole. <BR>"Oh my lord" Tari thinks. YOU DIDN'T USE ANY BAR-B-QUE SAUCE!!! he's ruined!<BR><BR>Tari knew these Loonies were cracked, but not using Bar-B-Que sauce was absolutely insane!<BR><BR>(Tari walks over the Legolas and kisses him hello<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0>)<BR><BR><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-cool.gif"border=0>Tari
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Postby Ladykat » Thu Jun 19, 2003 8:30 pm

Well geez, Ciara, how was I supposed to know? I mean your wearing the standard Elizabethian, Romanesque space-babe wedding outfit! I always knew you were a traditionalist at heart. Anyway, Crumpie is just dying to give the bride away.<BR><BR><i>*Points at the Hippocrump who is practicing by grabbing unsuspecting loonies and handing them to other unsuspecting loonies.*</i><BR><BR>Dogboy here may not be so bad once he's de-fleaed, and......<BR><BR><i>*Hearing the horrific screams emiting from the carwash, LK, her cousins, and the other loonies fearfully await the emergence of an unspeakable monster. From the steam of the carwash comes.......an Elf??</i><BR><BR>Hey, dude! You didn't happen to bring the King of Gondor or a few hobbits along with you, did you?<BR><BR><i>*Looking puzzled, Legolas asks, "Who's the King of Gondor? And what's a hobbit?" Alarmed, LK whispers to the others:*</i><BR><BR>I don't think he's the real Lego! <BR><BR>LK
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Postby ciaratheorceater » Fri Jun 20, 2003 10:17 am

Hmmm... a fake Legolas. This is the epitomy of blasphemey!!!!!!!<BR><BR><i> Ciara throws herself at the fake elf and grabs his beautiful long hair that makes him look oh-so-sexy, intending to swing him round her head and deposit him far out in the ocean. However, this plan fails, as the hair comes off in her hand, and this is followed by a great stench. the skin of the most beauteous creature in the world slides off to reveal the smelly dog man</i><BR><BR>YOU!!! YOU LITTLE GIT! You made me believe you were the most amazing creature ever to walk Middle Earth in an effort to trick me into matrimony!!! You... you... smell! take this<BR><BR><i> Ciara begins to smack him with a cocktail umbrella, the only weapon at hand, and rather inefficient really. The oily grin appears on the small creeps face and he grows into the dog again, but this time with six heads, and green and purple teeth</i><BR><BR>Hmmmm... <i> turns to Tari</i> Haha! You kissed that!! <BR><BR><i> Remembers that mind-numbing fear has invaded her mind and begins to scream uncontrollably as the huge monster opens its jaws to snap her in two</i><BR><BR>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!<BR><BR><i> Luckily, right at that moment, a hole appears in the space time continueum and a brave, young, handsome, charming knight atop his noble steed leaps through and sweeps the damsel in distress off her space boots and away from the monster. Who looks a bit angry about that really</i>
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Postby Ladykat » Fri Jun 20, 2003 11:35 am

Oh, great! Thanks a lot, Ciara! You go off with Prince Possibly-Charming, and leave us to contend with dog-breath here. <BR><BR>Clothespins, everyone! <BR><BR>Crumpie-----<b>ATTACK!!!</b><BR><BR><i>*The Hippocrump, furious because he lost his chance to give the bride away, charges the dogman. Since the ropes are still wrapped around the mandog, some of the loonies try to drag him back into the carwash, while others try to drag him into the ocean. As they're pulling against each other, things don't work out too well. LK's cousins surround the tricky cur, and begin to slowly close in. The dogman whimpers in fear---he's no match for a dozen cats the size of houses, all angry because he's smelling up their beach. Not to mention ruining their tea party.*</i><BR><BR>LK
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Postby ciaratheorceater » Fri Jun 20, 2003 2:20 pm

<i> Ciara and the completely wondrous Prince, whose name she did not catch but is surely NOT Possibly-Charming, wheel on the horse and charge back into the fray</i><BR><BR>Never fear loonies, i would not leave you alone to deal with this threat!<BR><BR><i> At that moment the ropes the loonies are pulling on all simultaneously break, and the children of insanity all fall to the ground. the dog man snarls viciously, then whimpers and runs off into the forest, pursued by the huge cats</i><BR><BR>What a wimp! Loonies, crabs, muffin-men and you too, big green dude over there, I want you to meet my real fiancee- whose name I'm not quite sure of but such superficial things do not matter!<BR><BR><i> the Prince smiles benignly and glances round the beach. Eventually he says:</i> Grungle whiffle thunrey du?<BR><BR><i> Everyone stares in astonishment as the horse says:</i> My Royal Highness, Prince Alphonsus Frederico Manfred Razar Phillipe the third wishes to know where the monkeys keep their eggs.<BR><BR><i> Still gobsmacked, particularly Ciara who falls off the horse, only to find the Prince, having moved with super-speed, there to catch her</i><BR><BR>Oh... thankyou... errr... Bob...<BR><BR><i> A crashing from the forest draws the loonies attention back to the problem at hand. Apart from Ciara who is staring lovestruck into the long-named Prince's eyes. As is the big green dude</i>
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Postby lotrgrrrl » Wed Jun 25, 2003 11:56 pm

<i>It seems the green two-headed horse is rivaling Ciara at loving gazes at the prince.<BR><BR>Mak, on the other hand, is staring lovestruck at the Princes' horse...</i><BR>"My darling! Your beautiful brown eyes! Your mane and tail like spun gold! Your shapely rump! Of course we shall inform Whatshisface of where the monkeys keep their eggs! They are stored in a nest lined with Dodo feathers, that rests upon the precarious peak of Mount Donteventhinkaboutit. I beg you not to bear Whathisface there! The quest is perilous! Would you not rather stay here, help us decapitate Smelly-Man, join in the Tea Party and let me stare adoringly into your eyes till the end of my days?"<BR><BR><i>lotrgrrrl blinks incredulously a few times, but decides as long as she keeps a tight hold on Mak's leash everything should be okay. She's got other fish to fry.<BR><BR>*picks up Elle's fish and proceeds to slap Smelly-Man repeatedly with it*<BR>The cats seem quite pleased with the new underlying fish smells to his stench, and by the time they walk away all that remains of Smelly-Man is the blonde wig and a single toenail.</i><BR><BR>Alas! Poor Yorich! I knew him well!<BR><i>tears off the Elizabethan ruff that has suddenly appeared around her neck, and places it on Mak instead</i><BR>There! It's about time you had a new dog collar! I think the built-in BRAND NEW and IMPROVED ON THE OLD VERSION anti-sanity-and-flea device on the last one was starting to wear out.<BR><BR><i> critically eyes Ciara's tin-clad Prince</i><BR>You know Ciara, you be careful about trusting him. You know men in tin suits are renowned for not having a heart...<BR><BR>* lotr_grrrl * <BR>~Member of the extensive <a target="_blank" href="http://www.tolkienonline.com/thewhitecouncil/messageview.cfm?catid=24&threadid=52905">family of Vana & B25</a><BR>~Weilder of Ithilmîr, the Moon <a target="_blank" href="http://www.tolkienonline.com/thewhitecouncil/messageview.cfm?catid=37&threadid=49731">Ring</a> of Moods <BR>~I’m not crazy, I’m just a sane person trapped in the body of a lunatic. See myself, Moonbeam and Mak at <a target="_blank" href="http://www.tolkienonline.com/thewhitecouncil/messageview.cfm?catid=37&threadid=61714">The Guild of Madness and Ultimate Insanity</a> if you don’t believe me. <BR>~Vegemite, fairy bread, Tim-Tams and doobysnax - <a target="_blank" href="http://www.tolkienonline.com/thewhitecouncil/messageview.cfm?catid=37&threadid=39752">The Great Aussie Guild</a> <BR>~Elaine_of_Astolat – eternally devoted lady of Sir Muccamukk <BR>(<a target="_blank" href="http://www.tolkienonline.com/thewhitecouncil/messageview.cfm?catid=37&threadid=67752">The Book of Aure Mandeo</a>) <BR>~Híril – second bow <a target="_blank" href="http://www.tolkienonline.com/thewhitecouncil/messageview.cfm?catid=37&threadid=64566">Fantasy Warrior</a><BR>R.I.P. <a target="_blank" href="http://www.tolkienonline.com/thewhitecouncil/messageview.cfm?catid=37&threadid=67125">Ancalagon_the_Black</a> 20/5/2003
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Postby Ladykat » Thu Jun 26, 2003 7:16 pm

<i>*Lk listens amazed to Mak's impassioned speech. Turning to Lotrgrrrl, she grins.*</i><BR><BR>I never knew he could talk that well. Did you say you were frying fish?<BR><BR><i>*The green, two-headed horse is trying to lure the prince away from Ciara by offering him cigars made of seaweed and raisin bran. The prince's horse is demanding Mak draw him a map to the monkey eggs, but Mak is busy being throttled by Lotrgrrrl, who is winding a new ruff tightly around his neck. LK's cousins gather around Lotrgrrl and wait patiently for her to give them some fried fish.*</i><BR><BR>Now <b>that</b> was a tea party! What say, guys? Wanna go on a monkey egg hunt? Or maybe we could get a can opener and help Ciara's prince out of that armor before he rusts. I mean, the sea air and all...<BR><BR>LK
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Postby lotrgrrrl » Mon Jun 30, 2003 4:29 am

Oh help! Where’s Rex Hunt when you need him?<BR><i>*smiles weakly up at the encroaching giant felines*</i><BR>Look, Squid! <i>*points at the green two-headed horse and runs in the opposite direction, tripping over Mak’s crayons in the process as the munchkin tries to draw a map for the tin-man’s horse. Mak gibbers angrily (his speaking ability having been reduced with his new anti-INSANITY-and-flea collar/ruff) as the green one has snapped under lotrgrrrl’s weight.*</i><BR>Well I’m sorry, but I’ve always told you that if you leave your play things out in the open it’s only going to end in tears.<BR>The green horse nods sagely, drawing deeply on his latest self-made cigar, and neighs something about it all being fun and games until somebody gets knee-capped.<BR><BR>Knee-capped? Great idea! <i>*waves a hockey stick threateningly at the cats in case they try and pursue her. The felines all pull out large lacrosse sticks, but as they do not have a ball and are still lacking in fish, they converge on lotrgrrrl who emits an “eep” and hides behind a cup-cake where a horde of squirrels are discussing the best way to seize global power*</i><BR>Quick! We must find the monkey eggs before the squirrels do!<BR><i>tin opener</i> Lady Kat? That would only help him find the monkey eggs faster! Let him rust – he can wait for Dorothy to come along and oil him up and help him acquire a heart.<BR><BR><i>*inspects the map*</i><BR>Right, we’re looking for a big green… I think that’s meant to be a triangle. But it should be easy to find ‘cos it’s got a red X on the top of it. <i>*Looks around at the various mountains on the island, one of which has a red, neon X flashing above it*</i><BR>I don’t know, I can’t see it. Can anyone else?<BR><BR>* lotr_grrrl * <BR>~Member of the extensive <a target="_blank" href="http://www.tolkienonline.com/thewhitecouncil/messageview.cfm?catid=24&threadid=52905">family of Vana & B25</a><BR>~Weilder of Ithilmîr, the Moon <a target="_blank" href="http://www.tolkienonline.com/thewhitecouncil/messageview.cfm?catid=37&threadid=49731">Ring</a> of Moods <BR>~I’m not crazy, I’m just a sane person trapped in the body of a lunatic. See myself, Moonbeam and Mak at <a target="_blank" href="http://www.tolkienonline.com/thewhitecouncil/messageview.cfm?catid=37&threadid=61714">The Guild of Madness and Ultimate Insanity</a> if you don’t believe me. <BR>~Vegemite, fairy bread, Tim-Tams and doobysnax - <a target="_blank" href="http://www.tolkienonline.com/thewhitecouncil/messageview.cfm?catid=37&threadid=39752">The Great Aussie Guild</a> <BR>~Elaine_of_Astolat – eternally devoted lady of Sir Muccamukk ( <a target="_blank" href="http://www.tolkienonline.com/thewhitecouncil/messageview.cfm?catid=37&threadid=68120">The Book of Aure Mandeo</a>) <BR>~Híril – second bow <a target="_blank" href="http://www.tolkienonline.com/thewhitecouncil/messageview.cfm?catid=37&threadid=64566">Fantasy Warrior</a><BR>R.I.P. Ancalagon_the_Black 20/5/2003
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Postby Ladykat » Mon Jun 30, 2003 6:52 pm

<i>*The Hippocrump has eaten the cupcake, leaving the squirrels no place to hide. They quickly roll themselves into furry little balls, hoping the giant cats won't notice them. Unfortunately, they're just the perfect size for the Lacrosse sticks the cats are carrying. Grinning, LK's cousins begin an exuberant game of what looks to be a mixture of golf and hockey with a little baseball thrown in.*</i><BR><BR>Dorothy mess around with Ciara's prince? I'm not sure Ciara would like that...<i>(watches as Ciara grabs up a hockey stick and prepares to pound Dorothy into the ground the minute she appears)</i><BR><BR>Now, what are we looking for? Right, monkey eggs...mountains with big red exes....<BR><BR><i>*Yawning, LK stares out over the ocean, watching a really huge wave roll in.*</i><BR><BR>Nope. Don't see any.<BR><BR>LK
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Postby ciaratheorceater » Wed Jul 02, 2003 6:06 am

<i> Ciara brandishes her hockey stick with a snarl, Sprouting vicious looking toe-claws</i><BR><BR>If anyone touches my one true love, I will rip out their innards, I will destroy their cranial cavity, and I will send them to bed with no supper!!!!<BR><BR><i> Her claws, growing at an alarming rate, have reached the forest by now, and the big cats keep tripping over them in their strange game, getting angrier by the minute</i><BR><BR>Ummm... does anyone have any toe clippers?<BR><BR><i> At that moment a blast of music comes from the direction of the ocean, and everyone (except Ciara, who is rooted to the spot by the ginormous claws) turns to see a girl in ruby slippers surfing towards them on a huge wave that threatens to engulf the whole island, monkey-eggs and all</i><BR><BR>What is it? What is it damn you!!! <BR><BR><i> Ciara's cries become more frantic as everyone begins to scream and run around like headless mongeese. However, she is distracted by the green two-headed horse attempting to steal the prince from underneath her nose</i><BR><BR>Methinks not, vile knave!!!<BR><BR><i> Picking up the elizabethan ruff that Mak shed while running for cover with the beautiful horse, Ciara kneecaps the horse with her hockey stick, which magically extended, and ties the horse's heads in a double blindfold with the ruff. Sadly, while accomplishing this, her feet, afraid of the water, ran away from her, claws and all, and she is left trying to wriggle away, as her handsome lover has been sent into a stupor by the noxious fumes of seaweed and raisin bran</i><BR><BR>Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
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Postby Eoywen » Thu Jul 03, 2003 10:25 pm

Oh! I love mongeese! they are so CUTTTEEE!!! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0> <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0> <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0><BR>*Rounds them all up* they can help us find the eggs! They are natural egg hunters! Everybody, quick! Hop on a mongoose and let's ride! <BR>AH! MY FISH! my precious fish! AH!<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif"border=0> *sits in the corner and cries* hey! since when has Mak been able to talk AT ALL?!?! And Tari! I do NOT have hairy feet! AH! you didnt think I'd catch that, did ya?!<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-shocked.gif"border=0> I KNOW ALL! *pants* No fair! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif"border=0> Ciara gets a prince and nobody else does?! I WANT ONE TOO! *glares at fish and demands it grants my wishes* LOOK! IT'S A FISHIE!!! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0> he he! >o <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0>
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