The Gaffer’s Guild – All parents (and parentees) welcome to brag, vent, or chat

The varied peoples of Middle-earth at times found unity in their pursuits, and all too often experienced deep rifts. Engage in lively conversations as we banter about the differences between the Alliances, and recruit for our People as well. Remember, keep it friendly.

Postby laureanna » Sun Aug 10, 2003 5:34 pm

Welcome to the Gaffer’s Guild, a meeting place for parents who want to tear their hair out, swoon with pride, cry themselves to sleep, or do all three at once, over their kids. Please come in, pull up a chair, and have a cup of ice tea. Tell us about your latest parenting fiasco/triumph/comedy.<BR><BR>I have been on another parenting thread for many years, and have found things that work to make a sustainable, supportive atmosphere on an e-list. Let’s start with these, and see where the whims of this particular group lead us.<BR><BR>1. Don’t use your kid’s real name, use an alias for your kid like “porcupine”. You may want to be vague about your location, too. After all, this is the internet, and thousands of people can see your posts, including your kid’s teachers.<BR>2. Never bring up the topic of corporal punishment. Really! Too many people get hurt while bitterly defending what they believe in on both sides of this issue.<BR>3. If someone says “can you believe my kid did this?” it helps to post about similar things your kid did, so the original poster won’t feel like such a bizarre parent.<BR>4. If someone says “my kid did this and I don’t know what to do”, the best reply is to say “I’ve been in a similar situation, and this is what worked for me. YMMV.” (Your mileage may vary). Or you could say “Bummer! I’ve never been down that road but I sure feel for you.” In some cases, the poster is not looking for answers, just the opportunity to vent.<BR>5. We were all novice parents once, and know the feeling when nothing seems to be working out. I’m hoping this will be a place for newly-panicking parents to pop in and get some “been there, done that, hate the t-shirt” commiseration and friendship. This may mean dealing with the same problems over and over, as each new parent stumbles in. So only stay if you like the idea of repeating yourself to the benefit of the community.<BR>6. Try to avoid the word “should” unless you are Eru.<BR>7. This is a LOTR site, so calling on the wisdom of Tolkien seems imminently proper. He was a parent, teacher, and mentor to his students. Through his books, he also shaped many of us while we were growing up. <BR><BR>If it would help, I can list the regulars and their kids in this first post, so you can follow their progress.<BR><BR>Laureanna, mother of Porcupine (19 year old male) and Wyvern (16 year old female)
User avatar
laureanna
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 3600
Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2003 5:57 pm
Location: sunny california
Top

Postby Teherin » Thu Aug 21, 2003 6:07 am

Gosh .. I cant believe this did not have a reply <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0><BR><BR>Hello Laureanna .. I am Teherin - parent to Babywof (under 2) and in the midst of Toddler-tantrum hell <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0><BR><BR>Would it be ok so have a cuppa and a chat ?
User avatar
Teherin
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1480
Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2003 1:52 am
Top

Postby laureanna » Thu Aug 21, 2003 10:04 am

Actually, I have to be at the airport in a few minutes (which is why I'm still here trying to pry my fingers off the keyboard <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif"border=0>) I'll be back in a week. Meanwhile, have some chocolate. There's milk in the fridge. I have lots of different teas in that cabinet over there. Make yourself at home. Feel free to stay and chat. <BR><BR>Laureanna
User avatar
laureanna
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 3600
Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2003 5:57 pm
Location: sunny california
Top

Postby laureanna » Thu Aug 21, 2003 10:05 am

oops double post
User avatar
laureanna
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 3600
Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2003 5:57 pm
Location: sunny california
Top

Postby Ysicla » Thu Aug 21, 2003 12:19 pm

Hiya both of you! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0><BR>What a great idea for a guild...<BR>I am a mother of two. A very strongminded and stubborn girl who´s 6, and a pretty quiet, shy and philosophic boy who´s 5 <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0>.<BR>Can I join this guild?<BR>
User avatar
Ysicla
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1298
Joined: Sun Apr 27, 2003 12:42 pm
Top

Postby Dad-human » Thu Aug 21, 2003 12:24 pm

Great idea! I'm The husband of Mom-human and the father of Boy-human, 19, and Girl-human, 17. Our names were given to us by our cat.
User avatar
Dad-human
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1936
Joined: Sat Jul 26, 2003 10:41 am
Top

Postby vladimir_the_hunter » Fri Aug 22, 2003 5:00 am

can i come in and rant about my parents? ~vladimir~
User avatar
vladimir_the_hunter
Citizen of Imladris
 
Posts: 74
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2003 12:20 pm
Top

Postby laureanna » Fri Aug 22, 2003 9:48 am

Hi everybody,<BR><BR>I managed to borrow a computer at my brother's house, where I'm visiting. I can't stay for long. <BR><BR>Anyone who wants to belong to the guild is welcome, including parents, future parents, and parentees like vlad.<BR><BR>I wrote some groundrules on the first post. Please do not be intimidated by them, they are just suggestions to make things work more smoothly. (So I'm control freak, sorry.)<BR><BR>In my short tenure at TORC, I've noticed that there are two kinds of threads. One kind of thread is the "parallel play" you find in groups of young children - everyone doing their own thing in the same room, but very little interaction. This would be the kind of post like "tell me your TORC name and how you got it". There might be a "That's nice" reply, but generally the next poster just gives his post and does not acknowledge the first. What seems to work best for viable guilds, though, is the kind of posting that encourages asynchronous conversation. <BR><BR>So with that in mind, let me attempt to start a conversation.<BR><BR>So, Teherin, tell me about toddler-tantrum hell that your kid has been sending you through. Sounds like he's going through the terrible twos, which some kids like to start early. My son, "porcupine" was, and still is, a very sensitive kid. He was overwhelmed by sensations, and would fall apart when he had to much "input". As he was screaming at me, kicking me, and sending me venomous looks, there was a little part of him also saying "help me! help me! I'm miserable and don't know what to do!" It's very hard to help someone who is acting as unloveable as possible at the moment when he needs the most love. It was a very trying time for me. My sympathies go out to you. Does anyone else reading this have thoughts on it?<BR><BR>Vlad- what would you do differently if you were raising you?<BR><BR>Laureanna
User avatar
laureanna
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 3600
Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2003 5:57 pm
Location: sunny california
Top

Postby ishasta » Fri Aug 29, 2003 2:52 pm

So here I am. Sounds ;like the place to be. I am so happy to finally know that there are mothers out there who like LOTR. In this day and age it's hard to find something that even your kids like. My 13 year old son and I watched TTT over a two night span. My hubby thinks we're crazy but then he got my son hooked on star trek as well. School is just days away and I took my kids shopping for clothes. I found alot on sale. With my son going into grade 8 ...he needs to look cool I guess. I joke about his shorts looking like hobbit brreches as they go mid calf. but he likes them. Funny thing my 9 year old said<BR> He went with his dad and grampa to get some propane for the BBQ and his dad bought him a coke in the corner restaraunt. Sitting at the table he asked loud and clear }so Dad how much did the cocain cost] I suspose he mixed the words propane and coke together. But Dad was sure looking around for cops at that point.<BR> joke I saw.. What did Frodo do when Gollum tried to take the ring.... He gave him the finger.
User avatar
ishasta
Citizen of Imladris
 
Posts: 45
Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2003 9:02 pm
Top

Postby Dad-human » Fri Aug 29, 2003 3:28 pm

That's a cute story. Speaking of clothes, Sears is having a big sale on Lands End. I got some pants and shirts for just $5 each. I work in a mall and I seem to get most of my clothes when Sears has a clearance sale.
User avatar
Dad-human
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1936
Joined: Sat Jul 26, 2003 10:41 am
Top

Postby Macilmé » Fri Aug 29, 2003 10:14 pm

I like the idea of a parents' guild - makes me feel like I'm not such a geek for being a parent and totally into everything Tolkien.<BR><BR>I have three kids: two step-children (boy-child is 18, girl-child is 17) and one child, Bug, who is 15.<BR><BR>For Teherin: as difficult as it is, remember that "this, too, shall pass". The terrible twos DO get better. I found that consistency in my behavior/reaction/discipline/etc., helped in dealing with my child's behavior/reaction/tantrums.<BR><BR>Hope this helps.<BR><BR>-Macilmé
User avatar
Macilmé
Citizen of Imladris
 
Posts: 52
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2003 8:45 pm
Top

Postby ishasta » Tue Sep 02, 2003 3:18 pm

I'm not so sure if the terrible two's are any different than the questionable 13's. My son,[ yes i do Love him} will be sweet as pie one moment and then he's flying off the handle the next... Like a two year old I suspose he too is trying to assert himself and see where he belongs. I only hope i can weather the storm he is going through . Even if it means battening down the hatches. Oh weel. School Starts tomorrow from my kids and they are both excited and worried.. I give them a week and they'll be settled in..
User avatar
ishasta
Citizen of Imladris
 
Posts: 45
Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2003 9:02 pm
Top

Postby Fairwynne » Wed Sep 03, 2003 8:46 am

Hi, there. Great idea for a guild.<BR><BR>I'm definitely a TORC mom. Six kids - 5 months to almost 16. 5 girls, 1 boy. My oldest 2 are on TORC, so I won't say much about them, except they're both into role playing and I'm not. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0><BR><BR>Thankfully, my husband loves LOTR, too, so he doesn't think we're all crazy, but he won't get on TORC. <BR><BR>Hope this thread keeps going. Usually I'm over in Manwe, but will try and get over here.
User avatar
Fairwynne
Rider of the Mark

 
Posts: 769
Joined: Wed Apr 10, 2002 9:45 am
Top

Postby Dad-human » Wed Sep 03, 2003 9:03 am

Wow! It's great to hear of a Tolkien family. Mine love the movies but are having a hard time getting into the books, much less TORC.
User avatar
Dad-human
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1936
Joined: Sat Jul 26, 2003 10:41 am
Top

Postby Ysicla » Wed Sep 03, 2003 11:57 pm

I have to say I envy you Fairwynne, having a TORC-family like that <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0>. My boyfriend can´t understand this obsession of mine, even though he likes the movies. My kids are still too small to see the films but when they get older I´ll make sure they do <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif"border=0>.<BR><BR>And the terrible 2... My daughter never seem to get out of it. She is 6 now and lord knows it has been 4 nerve wrecking years. She is a wonderful beautiful girl and I love her dearly, but jeez she makes me want to scream sometimes :I.<BR>
User avatar
Ysicla
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1298
Joined: Sun Apr 27, 2003 12:42 pm
Top

Postby PrincessofNumenor » Thu Sep 04, 2003 5:47 am

Hullo all! Very interesting guild! I couldn't resist stopping by, though I am perhaps years away from parenthood myself, a female in her teen years.<BR><BR> To the parents and Vlad, what would YOU do if you were 15 (IF you were 15, I said.. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-devil.gif"border=0>) and your parents adopted a child to add to the three they already had. Undoubtedly, you would love and adore and dote on her as much as anyone, but if you were more her age, really old enough to be her mom yourself, and your parents.. well, they felt more like grandparents to her. Unfortunately, they TREAT her like a grandchild, and she's getting a horrible attitude. She used to be really sweet and loving, but lately (she's three) she's become a monster. The terrible two's are over; this is just bad raising.<BR> <BR> Now, I don't pretend to be wiser than my parents in the matter of child-raising, after all, they've raised three and I've raised none, but... I can SEE what's going wrong, but it is, of course, VERY prudent to keep my mouth shut. What would you guys do? Especially if the little girl was making it hard for you to even sit down with your schoolwork (quite literally, that is the case. She wants to color in my notebook and the most my mom and dad will say about her screeching and whining is, 'Say please, honey.')? I wouldn't trade (let's call her Boo) Boo for anything, but... AIEEEE!!<BR><BR> Sorry 'bout the long post, everyone!<BR><BR> Alassë<BR><BR> Edited for: Confusing punctuation
User avatar
PrincessofNumenor
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1746
Joined: Thu Oct 24, 2002 9:59 am
Top

Postby Dad-human » Thu Sep 04, 2003 8:46 am

You could get her her own notebook. :-)
User avatar
Dad-human
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1936
Joined: Sat Jul 26, 2003 10:41 am
Top

Postby Fairwynne » Thu Sep 04, 2003 2:55 pm

PrincessofNumenor<BR>My oldest daughter is almost 16 and we've got a 5 month old and a 4 year old (as well as others in between). When she thinks we need to hear something as parents regarding the younger ones, she just tells us. <BR><BR>I'm usually pretty open to listening. It helps that she usually comments on things that don't directly relate to her. In other words, she usually isn't saying something like, "Mom, you've got to stop the little guys from getting in my room. You're spoiling them!" Instead, she takes some other behavior to make her point, such as, "Mom, J (4 yr. old) is taking A's (another older daughter) stuff and carrying it to her room. You wouldn't let us do that when we were little." But she also points out positives that the younger ones need, like, "Dad used to play games with us a lot more when we were little and we really liked it. He ought to do that more with J."<BR><BR>If said in the right way, your parents might appreciate your input.
User avatar
Fairwynne
Rider of the Mark

 
Posts: 769
Joined: Wed Apr 10, 2002 9:45 am
Top

Postby PrincessofNumenor » Thu Sep 04, 2003 4:42 pm

Dad-human: I've tried, buddy! I've nearly banrupted myself on presents to Boo that are just like the things I have.. To no avail. She wants what I'VE got. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0><BR><BR> Fairwynne: That's good that you listen to your kid! She may not reeeeally (none of my friends that have easy-to-talk-to parents do) understand what it's worth, but to have a parent that's willing to accept advice.. that's a valuable thing. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0> Mine.. It seems that no matter the tone of my voice, or the way I'm standing, or the words I say.. None of it seems to have any effect. It's like there's some sort of built-in radar that filters anything remotely similar to advice or commands is set to go off at any moment in conversation.<BR><BR> I'll admit it: I'm a bossy person. I like to be in control of things, and I detest authority. There's the hard truth, but I have always learned and remembered the hard lessons learned when dealing with my parents, and I never disrespect them, or at least I never mean to. When I do, it's a pretty dark day in paradise. <BR> <BR><BR> The annoying thing about the Boo situation is that my sister (24 and married) sees things exactly like I do, and she, by virtue of her age, can make subtle comments without being blown up on, but there's something about the teen years that makes my parents keep a kid on a shorter leash.<BR><BR> Pooh. Well, it felt good to vent, anyway! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0>
User avatar
PrincessofNumenor
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1746
Joined: Thu Oct 24, 2002 9:59 am
Top

Postby Teherin » Fri Sep 05, 2003 3:22 am

Sorry about being away - been on hols <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0><BR>Thanks to all who commented about my son's tantrums <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> .. he is extremely headstrong and most of the time it is frustration and tiredness - he is actually fairly bright and you can usually reason with him, unless of course he is really set on doing what you dont want him to, or he is very tired, then there is no point and you just have to wait till he's over <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0><BR><BR>I must say i can sympathise completely with those who are going through teenage hell .. I would far rather have a toddler who will always want a cuddle when they are finished, than a teenager .. my hubby and I are thinking of outsourcing our babywof when he gets to over 12 <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> .. JOKING of course.<BR><BR>I cant really help on the older children front not having got there yet myself with mine, but it must be hard for a much older child to suddenly have younger ones around, especially as the younger ones always seem to get away with so much more than the older ones remember (I remember having go's at my parents for that with my younger sister <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0>)
User avatar
Teherin
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1480
Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2003 1:52 am
Top

Postby PrincessofNumenor » Fri Sep 05, 2003 5:24 am

Yeah, Boo does seem to have a longer fuse with the folks than me or my brother and older sis had.. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif"border=0> I think, once again, it's because she's the adorable princess anywhere besides at home, so Mom thinks that she doesn't need to be told to do anything since everyone loves her the way she is. And then there's always the excuses. "Oh, she's tired." "It's her nap-time." "Well, you shouldn't have done so-and-so." "She hit the old woman? Well, they should stay out of her face." "She raided your room and ran off with the better portion of your stuff. *turns to Boo* Say please, honey."<BR><BR> To me, it would be easier if they'd just let her by with things, rather than make excuses. Excuses inspire me to think about saying some rather nasty things to the maker of the excuse, and then that boils out into a regular scrap.<BR><BR> <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-mad.gif"border=0> Teherin, when you've got a teen, I think if you remembered what it was like for you growing up, and I mean, remember it ALL. Remember every time your parents majorly annoyed you, and all of those teensy, unnoticeable things that only you would have seen or done or thought about. If you do, then I think you and your teen-to-be will have smooth sailin'. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0> <BR><BR>
User avatar
PrincessofNumenor
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1746
Joined: Thu Oct 24, 2002 9:59 am
Top

Postby MariaHobbit » Fri Sep 05, 2003 8:58 am

<BR>This sounds like a nice guild. Can I hang out here? That is... if I haven't offended too many over in Manwe recently. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif"border=0>........<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif"border=0><BR><BR>My kids all have TORC names, too. But since they don't post much at all anymore, I suppose it's safe to use their TORC names. I do on other threads, anyway! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> I'll do that later, when not mentioning their ages.<BR><BR>My oldest daughter is 16, my son is almost 15, and my youngest daughter 13. Yep, only three years between oldest and youngest. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif"border=0> Not a recommended procedure! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif"border=0><BR><BR>I've ruled over them with an iron fist (not literally!) for all their lives.... but now I find that I'm having to ease up on the oldest. *sigh* It's the old adage, "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were...."<BR><BR>Fairwynne, <BR>I finally got my husband to sign up for a torc name about a year ago (he's really into LOTR, too!) he still has maybe 4 or 5 posts to his name. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-rolleyes.gif"border=0> Some people just don't get into the messageboard thing. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0><BR><BR>ishasta,<BR>I hear you on the puberty age rampages. Whew! I'm glad they are <i>almost </i> over for us!<BR><BR>Dad-Human,<BR>I like your cat already! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0><BR><BR>Teherin,<BR>My mother always said "You've got to 'get your bluff in' before he's past his twos, otherwise you'll have a terrible time." She was referring to instilling the absolute certainty in your child that punishment follows crime. If you wait too late- it's not as convincing. Worked on my kids. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0><BR><BR>Hello to any I didn't mention specifically. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0> And thanks, Laureanna, for starting this. Your list of do's and don'ts at the first is helpful.<BR><BR>
User avatar
MariaHobbit
Mariner
 
Posts: 5512
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2002 7:52 am
Top

Postby laureanna » Fri Sep 05, 2003 10:26 pm

Thank you all for gracing this guild. When I started it, no one came by for a week and I thought it had fallen flat on its face. Gladly, that is not (yet) the case. If you think about it, this is one of the few guilds that represents what we do in real life (The other ones I belong to, the Chocolate Guild and the Native American Guild are also RL). I'm not going to have any sort of official membership, unless you really want that. I think it is more of a safe haven for anyone to pop into, whenever they desire. If you want to belong, poof, you belong.<BR><BR>Right now, I have no complaints. Though I still have two teens in the house, they have actually evolved into delightful people, and I am glad to have them around. It may not seem like it at the time, but parenting isn't just the best job, it's the only job, in the long run, that is thoroughly worthwhile. Nothing I create in my working world (I'm an engineer) is half as wonderful as my kids, creating themselves. <BR><BR>Lately, my daughter has been admonishing me about things and I have to laugh and say "You sound just like your mother!" because she does.<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0> <BR><BR>And if I sound mellow, it's because I've been thru every other emotion on the way to getting here, as the kids were growing up. And I've finally learned to pick my battles and not sweat the small stuff. That may be what's going on with your parents, <b>PrincessN</b>. They had to practice on you, thinking everything they did (wrong) was the end of the world. Now they are wiser and more relaxed and just having fun with the latest one, and raising her in a completely different style. I'd probably do the same. Kids are amazingly resiliant, in spite of what we do to them <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0>.<BR><BR><b>MariaH</b>, you are not offensive in Manwe. You are, like your byline, getting us all to explore our (inner) world more thoroughly, with your thoughtful questions. I read and mull over the discussions, even if I don't always post in the thread (or post in this screen name<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif"border=0>).<BR><BR>Laureanna
User avatar
laureanna
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 3600
Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2003 5:57 pm
Location: sunny california
Top

Postby MariaHobbit » Sat Sep 06, 2003 7:53 pm

<BR>You've got another screen name, Laureanna? Now I'm just dying with curiosity! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> (((hint, hint!))<BR><BR>I know what you mean about the practicing bit. I'm much more relaxed with my two younger children. The oldest has to bear the brunt of our mistakes.
User avatar
MariaHobbit
Mariner
 
Posts: 5512
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2002 7:52 am
Top

Postby Novice » Wed Sep 17, 2003 6:59 pm

Greetings all...nice to find this place.<BR><BR>Mother of two here....6 year old son (also known as Jumping Bean and Jazzle dazzle) and 10 year old daughter (Gorgeous Girlie).<BR><BR>They are absolutely glorious, glorious, glorious! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> And they exasperate me to the edge of my capacity and beyond. Which is as it should be -- I consider it their job to challenge me, my opinions and my outlooks, and my job to make sure they reach adulthood safe and whole.<BR><BR>laureanna, I agree with your response to PrincessN; in parenting the goalposts do move all the time. My kids have only 4 years between them, but even that is a long enough period for my beloved and I to have a much more relaxed attitude to our son's goings on. He does get more lee-way, and not only because we are older and more exhausted; also because we've learnt that some things just don't matter.<BR><BR>As I see it now after 10 years as a parent, as long as they show compassion and respect for themselves and for others, grapple with the concept of discipline (and self-discipline even more importantly) and maintain their thirst for the world, we won't have done too badly.
User avatar
Novice
Ranger of the North


 
Posts: 2791
Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2002 5:19 pm
Top

Postby MariaHobbit » Mon Sep 22, 2003 6:52 am

<BR>Wow, 4 years between. I bet you actually got to enjoy their babyhoods. I had all three still in diapers at one point. Very hectic. And I was using cloth diapers, too! And each one had months of colic as well.<BR><BR>I'm SO glad they are teenagers now. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0><BR><BR><BR><BR>
User avatar
MariaHobbit
Mariner
 
Posts: 5512
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2002 7:52 am
Top

Postby ElfMaiden13 » Mon Sep 22, 2003 8:12 am

Mwahahaha! This is the point where the nosy teenagers inturrupt the adults conversations. hehehe! *turns and runs*
User avatar
ElfMaiden13
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1687
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2002 1:29 pm
Top

Postby laureanna » Tue Sep 23, 2003 12:04 am

Teens, doncha love 'em. They crave attention and show it by getting your goat.<BR><BR>For those of you with young teen girls, I highly recommend "Raising Ophelia" about the travails that young women go thru now that are quite different than when we were teens. I also urge parents of 8 - 10 year olds to read it, so you can savor those magical years before they hit the rough spots. Actually, I have savored every phase, except maybe the terrible twos.<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0><BR><BR>Laureanna
User avatar
laureanna
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 3600
Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2003 5:57 pm
Location: sunny california
Top

Postby MariaHobbit » Tue Sep 23, 2003 7:14 am

..
User avatar
MariaHobbit
Mariner
 
Posts: 5512
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2002 7:52 am
Top

Postby ElfMaiden13 » Tue Sep 23, 2003 8:12 am

We're not ALL evil. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-devil.gif"border=0> lol. We really love allof our parents, even though we can't show it. It woudl go against the teenager code of conduct. j/k After all, you people have control over whether or not we get our drivers licenses. lol
User avatar
ElfMaiden13
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1687
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2002 1:29 pm
Top

Next

Return to Alliances and Guilds: The Peoples of Middle-earth

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests