The Gaffer’s Guild – All parents (and parentees) welcome to brag, vent, or chat

The varied peoples of Middle-earth at times found unity in their pursuits, and all too often experienced deep rifts. Engage in lively conversations as we banter about the differences between the Alliances, and recruit for our People as well. Remember, keep it friendly.

Postby laureanna » Tue Sep 23, 2003 10:32 pm

Yup, sounds like you need to read it. Maybe you can get a copy from the library.<BR>
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Postby Teherin » Wed Sep 24, 2003 3:14 am

MH : poor you ... I hope she gets the message <BR><BR>I have actually so little to complain about in my babe .. he is so receptive and really does accept logical explanations as long as he is not too tired to do so ... I have found it far easier since he started talking well and he really does listen which makes my life much easier .. now I am going to start all over again ... cos babe #2 is due in April <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0><BR><BR>Thanks Laureanna for this guild .. it is a help and does make things better knowing others go through the same as i do <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0>
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Postby MariaHobbit » Wed Sep 24, 2003 8:07 am

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Postby laureanna » Wed Sep 24, 2003 6:58 pm

You're right, it is Reviving Ophelia. And I can't help you with an extrovert kid. In that department I'm clueless, both as an introvert and the parent of two introverts. Perhaps another poster can help you there. Maybe even ElfMaiden13, who does not appear to be introverted.<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif"border=0><BR><BR>Teherin, when my 2 year old found out he was <i>not</i> the center of the universe, he was crushed, and I don't think he ever fully recovered. Both of my kids would have made great only children, but I'm glad I have them both, it's just hard to give 110% to each one simultaneously. Now might be a good time to set up special "mommy time", "daddy time", "other important person time" routines that will continue after the baby is born. It may be the only thing left of his old routine, and an anchor for him. And though it sounds impossible, a little "Teherin's time alone" might be a good routine to start. Of course, it won't last more than about 5 minutes <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0>.<BR><BR>Laureanna
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Postby ElfMaiden13 » Wed Sep 24, 2003 7:49 pm

Me? Haven't you heard? I'm a perfect child! lol j/k <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0><BR><BR>When I was younger, there were only two people who would baby sit me, because no one else knew what to make of me. lol. I've always been what you could call a "loner" of sorts. I don't know or hang out with any kids that are my age, or that aren't my age for that matter. Especially when I was little, because i would play alone. My parents never could punish me by putting me in a corner or something, because i could find entertainment is staring at a wall, as weird as that may sound. lol. I kind of like doing things alone, though one in a blue moon I will do things with other teenagers. My best friend, who is 8 months younger than me, lives over two hours away from me, so we mostly talk online, and see each other about once a month. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0> Whatever works. One thing is, I cannot organize to save my life, unless it is color coded. I color coded all of my school notebooks. lol. Well, i g2g 2 bed. It is almost past my curfew. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0> ttyl
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Postby MariaHobbit » Thu Sep 25, 2003 6:40 am

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Postby Frelga » Fri Jan 14, 2005 1:43 pm

I wonder if there's any hope of reviving this guild. ("There was never much hope...") I ran into a rather thorny disciplinary issue yesterday, and while I think I handled it all right, it would sure feel good to talk to other parents who are a) relatively like-minded and b) don't know me IRL and so can only get my side of the story. :wink:

My son is known to some on boards as Lufu, and while he is almost as enchanting IRL as in RPs, he is much harder to manage.

"Only a fool's hope." :?:
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Postby laureanna » Fri Jan 14, 2005 8:41 pm

I'd given this guild up as a youthful (on TORC) indiscretion. But I'd be happy to start it up again. :D

Funny how kids can be enchanting, impossible, and baffling all at the same time. What has Lufu been up to?
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Postby MariaHobbit » Mon Jan 17, 2005 12:40 pm

WOW! I wonder what I posted... that I later felt the need to edit out????? I really have no idea. :( My memory just isn't what it used to be.....

Yes, tell us about Lufu, Frelga. :) Though, after you get our input, you might feel the need to edit out your comments later, like I did. :oops: I'm sorry I ruined the continuity of your thread, laureanna. I really don't remember what I said back then. Probably trivial compared to present day problems.
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Postby Frelga » Mon Jan 17, 2005 4:04 pm

Hi MariaHobbit. I wondered about that one-dot post. ;)

Lufu doesn't have school today so I took a day off to play at stay-at-home mom. He's been so delightful that I've lost all desire to complain about him. :D :oops:

On the fun side, he and I are making up this long story about his beloved Thomas the Train Engine (I swear, those books must have been responsible for the decline of the railroad travel. In every single one a train crashes or breaks down. :lol: ) The story is turning into a crossover with my beloved Tolkien, so that Thomas and two more engines are now parked by the Lonely Mountain trying to find the entrance into the dragon's cave. :shock: :D I suspect, though, that once it's Lufu's turn, the dragon will turn out to be quite friendly and reasonable.
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Postby laureanna » Mon Jan 17, 2005 9:36 pm

I don't remember the post, so don't sweat it. How are your kids doing now, MariaH?

Thomas the Tank Engine? My kids and I read the entire series, saw the entire TV series repeatedly, had several of the little engines, and generally obsessed for several years about them. Sort of a train-based Mr. Rogers, I thought. Ringo was cute as always.
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Postby MariaHobbit » Wed Jan 19, 2005 12:44 pm

Oh, they are fine... just having 3 going through teenager hood at the same time can be a bit hectic.

I actually started a thread not long ago about the problems with my youngest daughter, in Manwe. Here's the link, if you want it. http://forums.tolkienonline.com/viewtopic.php?t=84726

Mine never got interested in trains at all.

My kids DID, however, use to be interested in TORC, and surfed a lot... which is why I deleted whatever it was that I said about one in this thread. They hardly ever show up, now, so I feel safe starting whole threads about them! ;)
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Postby laureanna » Wed Jan 19, 2005 9:41 pm

My daughter stays out of my threads, generally. She does RP and I do Movies, for the most part. But I do RP during Bards Guild festivals and was surprised, recently, when my daughter tapped me on my shoulder in the thread. A very strange feeling.
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Postby Frelga » Fri Jan 21, 2005 10:51 am

Aww, I thought that was sweet. :)

Although I do sometimes wonder how it would feel to have a RL family member interact with my online self. I wrote Lufu into my festival RPs, and that was fun, but his RL persona doesn't like to hear abou that. :roll:

Back on topic. I may have said this before, but I believe they should've read me Miranda rights when Lufu was born. "Anything you say (and do) can and will be used against you." :lol: They are talking about feelings in school, that psychologically correct way of using "I" statements to express displeasure. So now every time I ask Lufu to pick up after himself he tells me "But mommy, I feel sad when you ask me to do that."

Yeah, I know. Little kids, little problems. MH, I skimmed through your thread in Manwe (I generally stay out of there. I love to debate and I'm afraid to start.) All I can say is :hug: This too shall pass. Remind me of that next time I post. :)
Surely there are more parents here on the boards? Should I ask around, perhaps in the Bard's Guild? I am content to chat with the two of you, but still...
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Postby MariaHobbit » Mon Jan 24, 2005 2:18 pm

For a while, there I had both a son and a daughter interacting with me in the Guild of Ultimate Insanity. Between the three of us and LadyKat, we kept it going for quite a while after the guild originators left. Last year was a pretty tough year, though, and my family lost heart in posting in such wacky place.

It died. :( It hasn't surfaced in a long time now. Maybe I should try starting it up again? It's a whole new year! :D:D

Frelga, the reason I started that thread in Manwe, was because most of the people there have a pretty good grasp of the personality profile system that I mentioned a lot. It helped to use the short hand of that system in describing my daughter's personality.

It was kind of a stretch, fitting it into the philosophy catagory... but I spend most of my time in Manwe and wanted the people who know me to comment. I got some very good advice.

Also, my mother lurks in Manwe sometimes, saw the thread and IM'd me with her suggestions, before I got around to talking to her about it! And then, when my brother's wife started complaining to my mom about her step daughter (my brother's daughter by his first wife) my mom linked her to that thread and she got to read all about my troubles.

Turns out that my daughter and my niece are the SAME personality type and my sister in law is the same type as I am. So, that started a long but interesting correspondance with a sister in law that I didn't know well before. :) So that turned out good. We've been able to help each other with advice for coping. :)

The ramifications of letting your relatives know your ID on a messageboard are astounding sometimes! ;)
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Postby Frelga » Thu Jan 27, 2005 3:23 pm

:D MH, I can imagine! DH knows my login, but his virtual pastures are far and away from mine.

... and then some days, some very rare days, I actually get it right. Picking up Lufu from school last Monday. Turns out his classmate's mom brought their dog, and he got to play with it. He's telling me about it, and then demands, in that ultimatum voice that usually leads to major trouble. And I. Want. A. DOG! :roll:

Lucky for me I was just done buckling him in. I shut the door, walk around the car to my seat, all the while going through replies from "No way!" to "Maybe when you are older." I sit down. I say, "Dogs can be really fun to play with, can't they?" "Yeah! And you know, this dog, she doesn't like other dogs. But she loves children. And grownups."

Haven't heard about a dog since. :)
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Postby samsmyhero » Fri Jan 28, 2005 10:09 am

Hi there everyone! Mind if I join in your group?

(Hey, Frelga - at least I see one familiar face :) )

I've been looking for a guild to join and this one seemed right up my alley. I have three children and four step-children. Currently there are six of them at home. So I have lots of "parent tales" :P

One of my offspring posts here on TORC too. Actually, she got interested in it when I first discovered TORC several years ago (yes, yes, I'll admit it - right after the first movie came out :roll: I'm just one of those LOTR movie fanatics, although I did read the books way back when and have reread them since - primarily so I wouldn't look a complete fool when posting in the prancing pony :) )I have also experienced some ramifications of "relatives" knowing your user ID name, but I'll save that for another time.

Is anyone else around here a step-parent?
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Postby Frelga » Fri Jan 28, 2005 1:22 pm

Hello, Sam! Great to see you here! :clap:

Wow, six children at home. I am humbled. I can barely manage one, and he's an easy kid to manage.

I have also experienced some ramifications of "relatives" knowing your user ID name, but I'll save that for another time.


Ah, yes, I remember. ;)
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Postby samsmyhero » Mon Jan 31, 2005 8:53 pm

Yes, and the "unfortunate incident" which almost got me banned from TORC wasn't the only time letting a family member know my user name was a pain.

A long while back, when I first found TORC, I had an account under a different name. My husband was never too interested in LOTR (he bemusedly put up with my quasi-obssession) but he knew I was RPing on TORC. I was in one thread where my character was a guy elf and he ended up having to crash a "dance" at Rivendell in order to give Elrond some news. While waiting to talk to the big guy, my guy was "dancing" with a female elf. Then, out of nowhere, another male character appeared and started cutting in, etc, just generally harassing my guy. And I thought it was so weird that this was a brand new user with only one or two posts. Well, it turned out my husband thought it was very funny to open a TORC account just so he could harass me. :roll: Thankfully, he soon got bored and left me alone after that.

Anyway, as to having so many kids in the house, the oldest is almost 19, and from there it goes 17, almost 16, almost 15, 13 and 2. We're one of those "yours,mine, ours" families. :) So it is easier in some ways to have lots of older ones around to help out (when you can get them to). But of course, teenagers can be difficult too, when they want to be. All in all, I'd say,enjoy them when they're young, because it's so sad when they can't sit in your lap and hug you and don't want to be kissed in public, etc.,etc. Even though I'm an old fogey, I'm really glad we had this last one. She's such a little character and she keeps us all laughing.
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Postby laureanna » Thu Feb 03, 2005 12:03 am

It's delightful to see that the guild is revived, but unfortunately, I cannot stay here to take care of it. Go ahead and post away in this thread, or if you would rather start a new one, so someone can be in charge of the first post, go right ahead. I'm just glad you are able to get together. Take care. I'm going to the Undying Lands, for a while, anyway, or perhaps permanently. But only on line. In person, unfortunately, I'm still stuck at my desk. :P
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Postby Frelga » Thu Feb 03, 2005 12:11 am

:grouphug: laureanna, I hope you will return, sooner rather than later.
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