S.W. “??? What?
All I said was cheap bread, water, and a toaster oven.
I didn’t say any thing about four hundred pounds and getting stuck in the couch.!
Shaggydog, you’ll have to forgive the X-king. He’s a good man… Whose done some very bad things.”
As Lark tried( and succeeded.) to gather Mara and the sword breaking Kethasbro to her will, the X-king began his scheming.
J_F “Sluggy quick to the other side of the mountain!”
J_F “Dangit Sluggy!
Just come with me! And any of you other wussy, couch clogging, king betraying, losers who don’t come with me… You’ll feel my wrath!!!”
And with that statement the X-king and his young prince Sluggy fled to the other side of the mountain.
Many moments later.
J_F “Here we are Sluggy.”
S.W. “(panting.) Where are we?”:?
J_F “Where on the other side of the mountain, the side we don’t use any more do to all the goat crap lying around.”
J_F “Let me explain. For years I’ve worried that someone would try to overthrow me, or worse, they succeed, so I decided I’d need backup if any of those losers tried any thing. So I recruited some help.”
Just at that moment Sluggy spotted some unusual creatures venturing closer, and another and another . It seemed to be a small army of the beast. They were short , about 2.3-2.5 feat tall . They had blue baggy pants, green jackets and red pointy hats. In their hands they carried gardening tools, briefcases, and boards with nails through them( the X-king’s solution to every thing). One walked up to Sluggy, and in a strange accent he said “Hello .
They were the Travelocity gnomes. The Travelocity gnomes were always the king’s last resort…
probably cuss they sucked so bad.
S.W. “what the heck is that thing? It looks a bit like a dwarf but it’s smaller than a hobbit.”
J_F “Back when the Travelocity empire fell I took many of there gnomes back with me as a special taskforce for events such as this.”
Gnomes ran up to the X-king.
Gnome “Sire, the queen is putting pink wallpaper up in your throne room!”
The X-king in all his rage stabbed the gnome in the gullet.
Gnome “… am I going to die?
J_F “If so do it quickly and quietly. So as I was saying, we attack at dawn! They won’t know what hit ‘em! Ha, ha, ha! Ha ha, hahaha!”
Gnomes and Sluggy “ Ha, ha, ha.