The Dwarves Guild

The varied peoples of Middle-earth at times found unity in their pursuits, and all too often experienced deep rifts. Engage in lively conversations as we banter about the differences between the Alliances, and recruit for our People as well. Remember, keep it friendly.

Postby BrninThedwarf » Wed Jan 17, 2007 9:58 pm

Maranwe-Ar-Feiniel wrote:North eastern, up by Guymond? Or south of that?
I've never heard of Vian....


It's right off of Interstate 40 near Sallisaw. It's in Sequoyah County. The biggest town near me is Fort Smith Arkansas.

Maranwe-Ar-Feiniel wrote:Hey, Brnin...I just remembered. I have RPed with you! That was ages ago...when you had that Daman character.


I thought I had RPed with you before. I even think that you checked out the Guild of Oklahoman's I tired to start way back in time.
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Postby Kethasbro » Fri Jan 19, 2007 8:30 am

Brego sat in his tent feeding his Min-she his ration of half a loaf of meat stuffed bread..

"Gee, you grow pretty fast." said Brego."Here's some more...take the loaf.....I guess you need more then, huh? Wait, I forgot Lark's got all the food. Well, you can eat in her tent."

Brego and the spider (which was now the size of his head) went to Lark's tent and Brego gave Min-she another half-loaf of bread.

"You do grow fast." said Brego to the arachnid, which now was up to his waist. Just then, Lark, who was asleep, stirred uneasily in her sleep. "We better get out of here before she wakes up."

Brego scrambled out of the tent but Min-she didn't come. Then Lark woke up...............
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Post courtesy of Keth & Mara.
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Postby lark » Fri Jan 19, 2007 8:45 am

:evil:
:roll:
:P

I do plan to do a follow up post, but I don't have time this morning. BBL... :twisted:
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Postby Maranwe-Ar-Feiniel » Fri Jan 19, 2007 9:19 am

Wait...I said Guymond. *is embaressed* :oops: Really, Brnin, my geography is not that bad...my brain just not functioning at the moment. :P

Hey, I'm going to Sallisaw in febuary..probably. So t's up by Arkansas....


Lark, I can't wait to see the carnage. :twisted:
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Postby lark » Fri Jan 19, 2007 11:40 am

Hee…carnage. That’s a good word. :twisted:

~*~*~*~
There was a pregnant moment of silence then the entire area was shaken by the ear shattering scream, “SPIDER!!!”

The tent started jumping and flopping about like it was full of drunken kangaroos until at last the over-fed Min-she came rushing out with Lark in hot pursuit. She grabbed up a huge flaming log out of the fire and started swinging blindly at the beast. All the while screeching, “SPIDER! SPIDER! SPIDER!”

Terrified, the spider tried to hide in it’s master’s shirt, not understanding that it was now far to large to fit there. Firmly overcome by a fear driven Rohirric Battle Rage, Lark continued her assault, but unfortunately was not such a good aim, and for every swing that actually hit the spider, three more hit Brego.

After ten minutes of this, Lark finally stopped. Her rage and terror exhausted, she dropped her weapon and stood panting over the carnage. Seeing the state that Brego was now in, she questioned him, “Poor little hobbit. Did that spider attack you too?”

Brego- *moan…*

“Don’t fear, little one,” She said, wiping the sweat from her brow. “It’s quite dead now. I’m sure of it.”
:)
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Postby Maranwe-Ar-Feiniel » Sat Jan 20, 2007 6:57 pm

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

That was good. Let's get another one. :P
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Postby BrninThedwarf » Mon Jan 22, 2007 5:56 pm

Let's see if I can still do this....

*************
Brnin started out of his blissful slumber, something he was used to since joining with this merry band of lunatics. He heard the earsplitting scream of SPIDER!!!! coming from Lark's tent. Brnin moaned in disgust, he remembered the adventures from the past that involved spiders and knew that worse was on the way. Example(Mirkwood Badgers) :roll:

Grabbing his hammer, the dwarf was out of his tent just in time to witness the pummeling of one of the newer members of the Guild. He didn't know why Lark was beating the poor soul so bad, but she seemed to be completely intent on killing something.

As she finally stopped her assult on the poor hobbit, Brnin grinned as she addressed him. “Poor little hobbit. Did that spider attack you too?”

Brego- *moan…*

“Don’t fear, little one,” She said, wiping the sweat from her brow. “It’s quite dead now. I’m sure of it.”

Lark sat him down by the fire and walked back to her tent. The little hobbit sat looking rather forlorn and upset. Brnin walked over and sat by him.

"Why ye look so sad little one?"

The hobbit stared up at him and said, "She killed my pet. All he did was scare her a little."

Brnin smiled, "For reference, you should know that Lark hates spiders more than anything I know of. If ye value your life, I'd not put a spider in her tent again"

Brnin got up and walked back to his tent, smiling wider than he had in months. It's good to be back.
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Postby Kethasbro » Thu Jan 25, 2007 7:10 pm

:( "I didn't put him in her tent he was hungry."
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Postby lark » Thu Jan 25, 2007 9:29 pm

Ah, but you didn’t keep him out of my tent either. :wink: First rule of pet ownership is that you must take responsibility for your critters actions. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find true love again. :D
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Postby Johnny_Flett » Mon Jan 29, 2007 9:13 pm

The fleeing king called over his shoulder to his companions, who must surely be rushing to his defense by now. Alas! The miscreants were buffooning their way back towards Shelob's lair, in the opposite direction!

"Idiots! I'm surrounded by blithering, babbling idiots", thought the king, and he pumped his muscular legs harder, putting more distance between himself and the 25 foot tall cave troll that was giving chase. "I'd have them all killed if they weren't so weak-willed and easily manipulated."

He soon was able to give his adversary the slip, and did grin as the 75 foot tall balrog lumbered past his hiding place. Now, he donned his Lorien cloak, a gift from the Lady Galadriel after a steamy weekend spent at her private retreat at Wanteth Aman (in the second age).

The grey, elvish cloak rendered him virtually invisible against the grey rock and stone of the fort. Well, it rendered half of him invisible; the previous weekend he had absent-mindedly washed it in hot water, and now the shrunken cloak barely reached his pantless waist. And the rumor soon spread among the garrison, to be on the lookout for a mighty, three-legged elf warrior, that had scorched his way through Shelob's lair and had breached the castle's perimeter.

"It's a little breezy out today", thought the king, as he unabashedly strode his way to the base of the tallest tower of Cirth Ungol... 8)
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Postby Slugwortz » Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:31 pm

After the numbskulls had foolishly fled back to Shelob’s lair in stead of rescuing S.W. , and
after beating the living day lights out of the foolish hobbit that allowed his pet to go into Lark’s tent, :twisted: :P
they discus what they should do next.

Riot “… I’m bored.”

Mara “Weren’t we doing something?”

Brnin “Uuu… Oh! Yeah! Weren’t we trying to save S.W.?”

Kethasbro “Oh yeah! But for some reason when Mara started running away we all started to.”

Mara “I guess we should go save that handsome orc.” :D :P

Lark “So lets go save S.W.”

Kethasbro “But my head hurts.”

Mara “ I wonder why!”

Riot “All right, it’s better than pealing the dead, burnt skin off Kethasbro.” :puke:

In Cirith Ungol, S.W. had after a long night of trying to pull open the push door, finally come up with an idea worth trying.

S.W. “Well! That should do it.”

He was standing next to a large amount of clothes, sheets, pillow cases and pieces of cloth, all tied together. After tying the rope to a bunch of big rocks and bricks he started to climb down the rope.
A few moments after his descent down the rope, he found himself falling as some of the knots had come looses…(Ok- a lot of the knots came loose.)

S.W. “OW CRAP!!! Now I remember why I got booted out of elfish military school.”

He flashes back to his military exam.

Elf drill sergeant “Ok tie that rope on to that arrow, then shoot it across that pit to that tree.”

S.W. “Yes ser!”

S.W. ties a rope to an arrow and shoots it into the tree at the other side pit.

Elf drill sergeant “OK! Move! Move! Move!”

All the other elf’s started to run across the rope, when all of the sudden the knot came undone.

Elf students “Slugwartz you @#$ *&()! %^$*$^^!!!” >-O >-O >-O

S.W. Do I lose points for that?”

End flash back.

The numbskulls had finally made it into Cirith Ungol and were looking up at the tower S.W. had been locked in because of his inability to finger out pre-school problems.
Riot “So that’s the tower that S.W. is in ?”

Lark “I guess so.”

Kethasbro “Hey! What’s that?”

Mara “What’s what’s Keth?”

Kethasbro “That…I think its getting closer.”

BAM!!!! S.W. had fallen straight into Kethasbro and both were laying there in pain.

Riot “Elfkin is throwing orcs at us!’

Brnin “Kill them all!”

After S.W. hade landed on Kethasbro, the company, blinded from the smoke and dust from S.W.’s landing, broke into a fight. Riot bashing Mara in the head, Brnin pile-driving S.W. and Keth.
After about ten minuets of bloodshed they saw that it was S.W. still unconscious from the impact
of the fall

Riot “Hay it’s Sluggy!”

Lark “He looks unconscious. Is Kethasbro ok?’

Mara “Yeah, he’s fine.”

Meanwhile, J_F had reached the top of the tower.

J_F “( panting ) I… I made it… where’s S.W.?”

J_F looks out the window

Riot “Hey, is that Elfkin?”

Mara “Where?”

Riot “Up the in the tower window.”

Riot pulls out her sling shot of justice, and loading a rock, fires at J_F and
nails the king right between the eyes ( closer to the forehead actually.)

Lark “You hit it.”

Riot “Let’s go see what I hit this time.”

Kethasbro “Hopefully not another squirrel.” :roll:
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Postby Kethasbro » Sun Feb 04, 2007 6:25 pm

"Wha..wha..what if..its...still...alive." said the scared Brego.

S.W (finely regaining consciousness.) "IO! Would someone shut that hobbit up."

"O.K." said Mara and took a stick and went to Brego and tried to hit him on the side of the head. But forgot he was small and whacked herself in the head. And Mara fell unconscious. Brego laughed triumphantly then Riot knocked him out.

Brnin "Good job now we've got to two who are unconscious. And one whose dazed."
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Postby Johnny_Flett » Mon Feb 26, 2007 10:00 pm

And thus the company was reunited, beneath the fumes and smoke of Mordor. Elfkin was bound and entombed within the pungent sporran, and a council was held to determine her fate.

"There is only one way: to find the Cracks of Doom in the depths of Orodruin, and cast the Thing in there, if we really wish to destroy it, to put it out of our misery forever," spake the king. And they gazed out upon the burned plain, ruinous and choked, stretching away into a formless gloom.

"No flippin way! Back to Ithilien!"

And thus they found themselves again in fair Ithilien, and it was neither ruinous or choked, save where they had camped on their way in. The king led them to a place of his choosing, and tied the sporran to a rope and hung it from a tree, so Elfkin hung about five feet above the ground, like a stinky pendulum. Here the king summoned the goat.

King Flett had a buck goat named Ambrose which was famous in all of Middle Earth as a fighter. It was in a state of chronic constitutional indignation. Some deep disappointment in early life had soured it's disposition, and it had declared war upon the world. To say that it would butt anything is but faintly to express the nature and scope of it's military activity: the universe was it's antagonist; it's method was that of a projectile. It fought, like the angels and devils, in mid-air, cleaving the atmosphere like a bird, descending upon it's victim at just the exact angle of incidence to make the most of it's velocity and weight. It's momentum, calculated in foot-tons, was something incredible. It had been seen to destroy a four year old bull by a single impact upon the animal's gnarly forehead. No stone wall had ever been known to resist it's downward swoop; there were no trees tough enough to stay it; it would splinter them into matchwood, and defile their leafy honors in the dust.

The king gave the sporran a push, imparting it with a gentle oscillation. He then retired behind a rock, and lifted up his voice in a long and rasping cry. Almost immediately the goat 's head appeared over a low ridge, taking in the military situation. In a few moments, it had approached, stamping to within fifty yards of the swinging Elfkin who, now retreating and anon advancing, seemed to be inviting the fray. Suddenly, the beast's head dropped earthward as if depressed by the weight of it's enormous horns; then a dim, white, wavy streak of goat prolonged itself from that spot in a generally horizontal direction to within about four yards of a point immediately beneath it's enemy. there it struck sharply upward, and before it had faded from the place whence it had set out they heard a horrible thump and a piercing scream, and poor Elfkin shot forward with a slack rope, higher than the limb to which she was attached. Here the rope tautened with a jerk, arresting this flight, and back she swung in a breathless curve to the other end of her arc. The buck had fallen, a heap of indistinguishable legs, hair and horns, but, pulling itself together and dodging as it's antagonist swept downward, it retired at random, alternately shaking it's head and stamping it's fore feet. When it had backed about the same distance as that from which it had delivered the assault it paused again, bowed it's head as if in prayer for victory, and again shot forward, dimly visible as before- a prolonging white streak with monstrous undulations, ending with a sharp ascension. It's course this time was at a right angle to it's former one, and it's impatience so great that it struck the enemy before she had nearly reached the lowest point of her arc. In consequence she went flying around and around in a horizontal circle, whose radius was about equal to half the length of the rope, which was nearly twenty feet long. Her shrieks, crescendo in approach and diminuendo in recession, made the rapidity of her revolution more obvious to the ear than to the eye. The goat had evidently not yet struck a vital spot. Elfkin's posture in the sporran and the distance from the ground at which she hung compelled the goat to operate upon her lower exremities and the end of her back. Like a plant that had struck it's root into some poisonous mineral, poor Elfkin was dying slowly upward.

After delivering it's second blow the buck had not again retired. The fever of battle burned hot in his heart; it;s brain was intoxicated with the wine of strife. Like a pugilist who in his rage forgets his skill and fights ineffectively at half-arm's length, the angry beast endeavored to reach it's fleeting foe by awkward vertical leaps as she passed overhead, sometimes, indeed, succeeding in striking her feebly, but more frequently overthrown by it's own misguided eagerness. But as the impetus was exhausted, and the sporran's circles narrowed in scope and diminished in speed, bringing it nearer to the ground, these tactics produced better results, and elicited a superior quality of screams, which they all greatly enjoyed.

Suddenly, as if the bugles had sung truce, the goat suspended hostilities and walked away, thoughtfully wrinkling and smoothing it's great aqualine nose, and occasionally cropping a bunch of grass and slowly munching it. It seemed to have tired of war's alarms and resolved to beat the sword into a plowshare and cultivate the arts of peace. Steadily it held it's course away from the field of fame until it had gained a distance of nearly a quarter of a mile. There it stopped and stood with it's rear to the foe, chewing it's cud and apparently half asleep. They observed an occasional slight turn of it's head, as if it's apathy were more affected than real.

Meantime Elfkin's shrieks had abated with her motion, and nothing was heard from her but long, low moans, and at long intervals the king's name, uttered in pleading tones exceedingly grateful to his ear. Evidently she had not the faintest notion of what was being done to her, and was inexpressibly terrified. When Death stalks you cloaked in mystery he is terrible indeed.

The king retrieved the battered sporran, and giving Ambrose a very wide berth, led them back toward the Mountain. :twisted:
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Postby Maranwe-Ar-Feiniel » Tue Feb 27, 2007 3:52 pm

And is that Ambrose in your sig?
Evil looking.
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Postby Johnny_Flett » Tue Feb 27, 2007 8:55 pm

Aye, lassie. Tis.

Be forewarned. I shall now commence with the humiiation/destruction of all those who do not appease the King with long and clever posts. I suppose we should start alphabetically... :wink:
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Postby lark » Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:24 am

Alphabetical order, huh? That gives me some time. :wink: Let me know when you get to Kethasbro, and I’ll hurry and do some appeasing. :angel:

Clever posts are good. :)

Be nice to Brnin. :nono: He’s been sick.
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Postby Kethasbro » Thu Mar 08, 2007 4:31 pm

Long clever posts eh well I'm glad theres no pressure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"AHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGG!!!! hail, Lord King; hail Lord King!!"The cry erupted from Brego."We swear to do what you wants- we swears it. We will swear on-on-on fruit cake coughbrego coughbrego.

Mara. “Oi hobbit, he's taking the goat to the mountain.”

J_F. “Are you sure I'm gone...?”

Mara goes down on her knees goveling.”Oh...hello you'r great king-under-the-mountainess....they made me do it! They made me do i.....

J_F. “Belay that lass. We now must leave this coursed place of anti-goatnes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is that clever enough for you J_F.[/i]
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Postby Ilfrith » Fri Mar 09, 2007 9:40 pm

Ilfrith emerges from the bushes, oblivious as to what had transpired since she had gone to dig a cat hole at the beginning of the evening.

She emerges in time to see the carnage that was Elfkin and hear J_F's warning to those who don't write long and clever posts.

***Gulp***

"Are there any limits on how many times I can use the words 'really' and 'very', Your Majesty?
As in: J_F then went on to explain in a really really funny and humorous way how he would be very very generous with some people and really patient and understanding with their inablility to say something very funny when their feeling really on the spot?"

:lol:
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Postby Maranwe-Ar-Feiniel » Sat Mar 10, 2007 8:44 am

"Oi, hobbit, he's taking the goat to the mountain."

Sudenly, the hobbit started chuckling...."Hahahahaha....That'll teach you...Snobby Half-elf....Heeheeeheeeheee...."


Mara smacked him upside the head. "Belay that, hobbit!"

With that, the company, followed the great king, who walked in stately granduer towards the lowering mountain. His head was held high, as befitted an elf; and lo! his nose was not in the air, for that was a befitted a dwarf. The silky wonder that was his hiar flowed on his shoulders like a lions mane, and his beard was at just the right stage between five o'clock shadow and a full beard. The sturdy tree-trunks of legs he planted firmly, and the gound shook beneath his feet as he trod it. Then the company realized that it shook beneath their feet as well.

"Hey look! I'm a dwelf King!" With that, Brego put his nose in the air and started mincing about.

Brnin glared at him and muttered "Fool of a Tuk! Continue at this rate and he'll send a plague of Ambroses upon us!"

"There's only one....We can handle it...."

"Stupid skinny hobbit! THAT was just Ambrose.....Have ye ne'er heard of Ambrose the Great?! Or Ambrose the Lesser? Then there is Ambrose the Scholar...Ach, tis a sad day when the Scholar is summoned, and he comes with his heavy books and scientific calculator..Then there is a carnage, aye, a carnage the likes of which ye've ne'er seen before!!"

The shaking beneath their feet continued-aye, and it worsened too...The rocks danced the cha-cha acoss the barren plain, and the scattered ashes of orc fires danced the tango.

"Hmm..." the Great king broke the silence. "I don't think thats a good thing."

And the mountain ahead of them heaved, and the mountain shuddered mightily, and a cloud of smoke puffed up from the top. And BEHOLD!!!!!!!! A dark shadow rose from the mountain, a terrible creature, clothed in shadow, mounted upon a fell beast with a wingspan wonderous to see. And a cackle came from the shadow, a dark voice proclaiming

"I am Riota!! Fear me! I shall conquer this land...Instead of a dark lord you will have a queen!!!!!!!! NOt dark but BEAUTIFUL and terrible as the dawn!!!!! All will love me and despair!!!!!"

The company stared in shock at the appirition. Then glanced back towards the rear of the group, where Riot was kicking Reaver.

"Don't ask me! I have no bloody idea...Though judging by the amount of exclimation marks, I think it may be a renegade Mary-sue...."

With that, the company readied itself for battle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Does it work?
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Postby Johnny_Flett » Sun Mar 11, 2007 8:46 pm

They all turned and looked at Riot, who now had her entire arm, up to the shoulder, lodged inside Reaver's throat.

"Riot, leave that poor horse alone."

"Poor horse! This sick bag of guts is trying to eat me!"

"Well when you're done goofing off, perhaps you and Brnin (who is also slow and out of shape) would care to go a few rounds with this...Riota...Nazgul...thing. The rest of you...*clap clap* continue with the appeasing! That was some fine grovelling! But it was a little light in the snivelling department..."
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Postby BrninThedwarf » Tue Mar 13, 2007 5:14 pm

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN......GOOD EVENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!


WELCOME TO THE SHOW!!!!!!!!



IN THIS CORNER, AT 4 FT 11 IN, AND WEIGHING IN AT 195 LBS. FROM THE IRON HILLS......BRNIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



AND IN THIS CORNER, FROM PARTS UNKNOWN, AT HEIGHT UNKNOWN, AND WEIGHT UNKNOWN......RIOTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Brnin looked around and asked aloud, "Who is this announcer, and where is he talking from?"

Before he could get an answer, the Mary-Sueish being attacked and grabbed the poor dwarf. It immediately started speaking of his makeover, and how with a little hard work he could look as good as Aragorn, or even Legolas.

Before the rest of the group could respond, she was flying away with the poor dwarf back towards the mountain.

Brnin was struggling to get free and cursing the thing with every word he knew in four languages. She only seemed to be spurred on by his vuglarity and became more determined to make him into a tribute to her favorite characters from the movies.

The last thing that the group heard was her speaking, "With a little blush here....And some foundation........But first we have to get rid of all that hair!"

Then the blood curtling roar of defiance from Brnin......"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I'll kill you you foul thing!!!! Don't you touch me beard!!!!!!"

Then they heard no more.
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Postby Riot » Fri Mar 23, 2007 9:12 pm

“Well that takes care of that,” Riot shrugged and stared off into the vast distance at the diminishing figure of Brnin.

J_F smirked. “Now who’s the hairiest of them all?” He winked lecherously at Lady Lark who rolled her eyes so hard one got stuck in the back of her head.

“No really, we’re going to rescue our comrade, right?” Ilfrith inquired, somewhat concerned.

“Well of course,” Lark smiled, reassuringly. “But we’ll take our time, I’ve oft wondered what a dwarf keeps under all that hair. A makeover would do him good. You know, it will save us the wax ,and bruises, and traumatic memories.”

Riot bobbed her head either in agreement or because her neck had suddenly become to weak to support her rather large skull. Possibly both. Brego on the other hand bobbed his head because he was receiving no intelligent lines as was true to character.

“I heard SW once braided Brnin’s back to his pony’s rear. He drunkenly mistook the beast for his long-lost Siamese-twin and dragged the beast for several leagues before it desperately chewed off its own tail,” Mara recounted fondly.

“I thought it was his beard, and he called it “Arwen”…” SW scratched his head. “But I’m a little fuzzy on the details.”

And so the company rode forth at a leisurely pace, trading stories of hirsute horror and the lack of Dwarvish hygiene, often indistinguishable from one another. J_F played paddle-ball using his war hammer and a rather vocal and stinky sporran. It might have been cricket, but no one present was really sure what that was. Perhaps elephant polo would have been a more accurate description.

“You know,” Ilfrith stared at Riot for a moment. “That thing isn’t related to you, now is it?”

Riot shrugged noncommittally. “Do you think I would admit it if it was?”

“Why of course,” J_F beamed as he tossed a screaming sporran into the air like a hysterical beanbag. “You’d want to show the rest of us how much you’ve evolved.”

****

Riot
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Postby Johnny_Flett » Sun Apr 01, 2007 8:51 pm

They continued through Ithilien, until the woodlands grew thinner and the land began to fall more steeply. They came upon a small river in a narrow gorge, and followed the swift torrent to a waterfall with a deep cloven pool at it's base.

"Let's stop for lunch"," suggested the king.

"Pah!" sneered the sneery Mara. "We ain't had nuthin but cool and fragrant wines, dried fruits and good red cheese for three stinkin' days! Why can't we have some meats!" Spittle flew from her mouth on the last syllable, mixing with the spray from the falls.

"Very well", flabbergasted the king. "Gentlemen! Let's hunt some pork!" Grabbing Sluggy's legs, he began pushing him 'wheelbarrow style', so Slugs could use his super-sensitive snout to snuffle the earth. Brego leapt upon Sluggy's back, and they set off into the woods. It wasn't long before they heard Slugwortz's baying fade into the distance.

The ladies cooled their feet in the refreshing waters of the pool. Seizing the opportunity, they disrobed and began taking a much, much needed bath.

Their cavorting and frolicking was cut short by a huge splash in the center of the pool. A man, clad all in green, had apparently fallen from the top of the falls, and was now floating face down in the water.

"Oh great...great...that was just grand..." This voice belonged to another man, also clad in green, who was working his way down from above. The ladies were already dressed by the time he reached the bottom. He entered the pool, and with his staff began pushing his comrade like a raft. He worked him to the side, and with great effort (for the man was very large) hauled him onto the bank.

"Is he all right?" asked Lark.

"No. But then, he never has been", spoke the raftsman. The floater had now begun to cough up water and chunks of green algae. He was very tall, a little heavy, and pink-skinned. His his beady eyes were set way too close together. "He is Stillborn, a ranger of South Ithilien. And I am Faramir, his Captain. You may call me Captain Faramir." The women now recognized his giant snout and quarter-sized nostrils as belonging the to perpendicular line of the Stewards.

Stillborn, who had now worked himself up on one elbow, had begun making beady, little puppy dog eyes at Mara. He pointed at her and began making loud, monosyllabic, nonsensical noise, until he was silenced by a whack on the head from Faramir.

"You have trespassed in the Forbidden Pool; and thus, your lives are forfeit. Or was it your money that was forfeit? Alas, something must be forfeit; until I can remember, you are all my prisoner." :shock:
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Postby Kethasbro » Wed Apr 18, 2007 11:07 am

Then Brego started talking realy fast.

" well this isn't the courtasy you showed my greatgrandfather's second cousin, twice removed on his mothers side, and four on his faithers, uncle's sister-in-law's great neice's son's cousin adopted son Frodo Baggins"

Faramir looked at the hobbit condfused and dumbfounded.
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Postby Kethasbro » Wed Apr 18, 2007 11:09 am

Then Brego started talking really fast.

" well this isn't the courtesy you showed my great grandfather's second cousin, twice removed on his mothers side, and four on his fathers, uncle's sister-in-law's great niece's son's cousin adopted son Frodo Baggins"

Faramir looked at the hobbit confused and dumbfounded.

_____________________________________________

Blast!
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Postby Maranwe-Ar-Feiniel » Thu Apr 19, 2007 5:46 pm

Mara smacked the impudent hobbit upside the head once again.
"Sorry, lord Faramir. He does that sometimes...."
"Which, have spasmatic attacks or claim realationship to higly respected hero's of middle earth?"
"Erm....both."

A short shriek broke their conversation. The whole group turned to see Riot halfway up a tree, and Stillborn making imploring eyes at her.

"Oh, don't mind him," Faramir said, "He just has a thing about petting people's boots.... and Kittens.....And, well, him you don't mind my saying so, your boots look rather like they are made of cats..."

"SO?"

The steward quailed before her steeley glance, and resumed his conversation with Mara.

"At any rate, I DID capture Frodo. And I was supposed to kill him...So..um....sorry."

Just then, the sweet baying as if of hounds a-hunting floated on their ears, and they turned to see a great comotion in the bush as if a great animal was within. The baying of Sluggy grew louder, and the fierce hunting cry of Ranthim reached their ears as he delievered the coup-de-grace.


LLAMA!!!

And a sudden hush fell upon the country side; the whole company knew that either the great animal or the Dwelf king had fallen, and surely a nobler boor could never had fallen.

Suddenly, a great laugh came from behind them, and the turned to see the triumphant king and Sluggle bearing a staff, the size of a small tree (A very small tree....about one half inch in diameter)...The tree was bowed with the weight of the quarry. A horendous beast it was, with matted fur and snapping jaws. Evily gleaming eyes shot daggers at it's captors and claws extended and retracted with evil intent. From it's slavering maw came the most awe-inspiring sound of it;s fury.

"Meow?"

The women, Faramir and Stillborn proceeded to say...


"Awwwwwww....."
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Postby Slugwortz » Sat Apr 28, 2007 8:17 pm

Kethasbro: “Let my sister go!!! Please… Don’t hurt me!!!”
J_F: “And who might you be.”
A silence fell upon the group.
J_F: “Speak or I will cut your over -sized head from your shoulders!”
Both the rangers stop to feel the size of their heads :P :roll: which had been ridiculed by the rude king.
Finally after much head examination the rangers finally spoke.
Faramir: “I am Faramir son of Denethor and the man you see with me is
Butterfingers son of Dropalloursuppliesintheriver!” >-O :angry:
The big man gave a huff.
J_F: “Well you are welcome to come and hunt with us.”
Hopefully with your help we will have enough skill to catch something more
than a dead cat or a dying squirrel or something.
S.W. : “Oh come on, this fellow will feed us for weeks.” :D :P SW held up the cat.
Just then a eagle swooped down and snached the cat right out of his hand.
S.W.: “You son of a…Give me back that cat!” >-O
S.W. throws a rock at the bird but misses (by a mile and a half!) and hits Kethasbro right in the eye.
Kethasbro: “Waaaa! That hurt!.. Bad!” :cry2:
J_F : “Don’t worry, I was not going to take you anyway.”
Lark: “Don’t worry I’ll help Kethasbor.”
Mara : “I will too. Now hold still Keth, this lemon will take the sting right out.” :twisted: :P :twisted:
As the girls help Kethasbro… well as Lark helps Kethasbro and stops Mara and Riot from
sticking lemons on him and stopping Ilfrith from giving him lipstick to eat. :twisted: :P
The men left to go hunt for thet eagle that took the cat.
They return a few hours later, with the rangers dirty and beat up and the king with a massive
lump on his noggin (near the same spot where Slugy hit Keth) and with S.W. looking very pale.
But they were hauling back a giant warg.


The men, … well two men and a elf and half elf joined up with the rest of the group and told the
Story.

Riot: “What happened out there?

The SlugOnater burst in story.
S.W. “We were looking for more cat’s (yum yum yum!) when this warg burst out of the forest and attacked us. First he hit the king on the noggin and sent him flying into the rangers. That knocked them down a cliff and stunned the king. The warg was coming towards me. Luckily I had my oyster scout training to fall back on. I jumped forward at the beast, but the wretched dog dodged me, so I grabbed a stick and beat it to death. Then I helped up the king and after that we found the rangers in a patch of poison ivy.” :P

J_F: “You little liar! :x That is not what happened! The warg did hit me and I did hit the rangers and you did go to the oyster scout’s and that was poison ivy they where in!”
The rangers looked at one another in a grate state of confusion.
Faramir “I thought he made that up?”
Riot: “You amateur, don’t you know what poison ivy looks like!?!” :?
The rangers looked at their feet in embarrassment.

J_F: “As I was saying, the warg flung me in to the other guys but I was not completely stunned. Only my legs were. And you did not kill the beast, you jumped out of the way and it ran into a rock. And when you are too scared to move you begin to have a terrible gas problem, like a sick dog. And you did not kill the thing with a stick, I threw you a stick which you did not even try to catch, instead it crashed into your noggin! Right as it hit you must have gotten another burst of gas, and mixed with the impact of the stick it propelled you out of the wargs way… :) :P

S.W. “Well…” :shock:
Riot “Sluggy you wuss!”
J_F “Your lucky that stick was the splintery wood or you’d have a lump on your head just like
Me and Kethasbro… Hay where’s Mara?”
Just then Kethasbro came running out of a tent screaming, with Mara in pursuit, a big lemon in her hands.
Mara: “Come back Keth! This will not hurt!” :twisted:
Kethasbro: “Yes it will!!!”
:( S.W.: “Hey I want to try!” :lol: :P
S.W. picks up a stray lemon and starts chasing the misfortunate hobbit.
Lark : “Slugy NO!”
:x J_F: “Let the boy have some fun. Go Slugg,y go!!!” :P :lol: :P
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Postby Johnny_Flett » Fri May 11, 2007 8:31 pm

I see you have all together decided to quit posting altogether. Very well. Be prepared. The king shall unleash his...venom. Bile. Oh, yeah. We got lots of that. :twisted:
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Postby Riot » Mon May 14, 2007 5:35 am

I believe when it comes out that end, it's diarrhea.

Riot
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Postby Kethasbro » Mon May 21, 2007 7:06 pm

Brego led Sluggy and Mara on a merry dance around the forest. Till he tripped and landed heavaly :bang: no the edge of a stick making it spin into the air and hit mara on the head giving her bump also. as he got up he saw Maras head.

"haha :roflmbo: ooowwww :shock:"

Slugwortz had come up beside him and sprade his eye with limon juice hitting Bregos eye. but he hit the wrong one then Mara got him.

"OO OO they trys blinds they spreys at me with leonses curse them we's hates them.... :argue:
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