What books would LOTR's characters read?

Come on over to Tom's House for the lighter side of Tolkien Fandom. Remember Tom's House is both powerful and innocent, so keep it clean and nice.

Postby elengil » Wed Sep 18, 2002 7:27 pm

Boromir: The Art of War<BR><BR>Aragorn: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus <BR><BR>Gandalf: Dyanetics<BR><BR>Gimli: What Bike (British bikers mag.. we all know Gimli would own a Harley if he lived nowadays)<BR><BR>Frodo: Ghandi<BR><BR>Sam: Dependance/Co-dependace -or- Big Book of Baby Names<BR><BR>Merry and Pippin: Playboy most likely<BR><BR>Sauron: The Pit and the Pendulum<BR><BR>Saruman: How to Win Friends and Influence People<BR><BR>Eowyn: YM<BR><BR>Legolas: Orlando *shakespeare* (while listening to "Sail Away" by Enya)<BR><BR>Gollum: So Long and Thanks For All the Fish<BR><BR>Arwen: Doesnt have time to read. probably watches Oprah while stiching Aragorn's banner.<BR><BR>Elrond: The Joy of S...well we all know what the rest of that title is...<BR><BR>Galadriel: Ventriloquism made easy<BR><BR>Celeborn: I married Mrs. Right, I just didnt know her first name was "always"
User avatar
elengil
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 2684
Joined: Wed Sep 04, 2002 4:51 pm
Top

Postby lady_of_legolas » Fri Sep 20, 2002 1:28 am

hehe those are cool.... and oddly likely...
User avatar
lady_of_legolas
Ranger of the North


 
Posts: 3898
Joined: Wed Apr 24, 2002 7:58 pm
Location: NZ
Top

Postby Finbrethil » Fri Sep 20, 2002 1:44 am

those are so cool!<BR>Here's a few more:<BR><BR>Shelob: The woman who ate her Husband (actually, that's a play but never mind)<BR><BR>Treebeard: The Ground Force book ("Hrooooooooom, this Charlie Dimmock's better than any hrooming Ent wife...hrooom)<BR><BR>They're not v good, but there you go.<BR>
User avatar
Finbrethil
Shield Bearer

 
Posts: 144
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2002 8:34 am
Top

Postby Daughter_ofthe_Nine_Moons » Fri Sep 20, 2002 2:23 am

They are great<BR><BR><i>Merry and Pippin: Playboy most likely<BR>Saruman: How to Win Friends and Influence People</i> hehehe <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0>
User avatar
Daughter_ofthe_Nine_Moons
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 2125
Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2002 5:54 am
Top

Postby KBrandybuck » Fri Sep 20, 2002 11:32 am

Pippin: Truly Tasteless Jokes<BR><BR>Merry: The 1 minute manager<BR><BR>Saruman: The Prince, by Machievelli<BR><BR>Arwen: Anything by Martha Stewart<BR><BR>Frodo: The NOon Day Demon, an Atlas of Depression<BR><BR>Sam: Anything with big type and words with very few syllables <BR><BR>Earandil, the Mariner: everything Thor Heyerdahl ever wrote<BR><BR>Wormtongue: Swimming with Sharks<BR><BR>Galadriel: Sunset magazine<BR><BR>Sauron: Mein Kampf. Or Dante's Inferno<BR><BR><BR>
User avatar
KBrandybuck
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 3213
Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2002 10:22 pm
Top

Postby MerLynLass » Sun Sep 22, 2002 2:18 pm

Gandalf - The Bible<BR>Sam - Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook
User avatar
MerLynLass
Shield Bearer

 
Posts: 141
Joined: Mon Jul 08, 2002 8:38 pm
Top

Postby elengil » Sun Sep 22, 2002 6:22 pm

Speaking of .... I wonder what they would be doing now adays...<BR><BR><BR>Boromir: psychotic ex-army special forces guy who has military flags for curtains and can field strip a weapon blindfolded in 3 seconds.<BR><BR>Gimli: Own a Harley Davidson store.<BR><BR>Legolas: Hair stylist/make-up artist<BR><BR>Merry: Boyscout<BR><BR>Aragorn: Boyscout leader<BR><BR>Pippin: Stand-up comic<BR><BR>Arwen: President of the women's lib. movement.<BR><BR>Eowyn: Playboy model<BR><BR>Faramir: a male sensitivity shrink<BR><BR>Elrond: Self-help seminar speaker<BR><BR>Saruman: A Congressman<BR><BR>Sauron would be Mr. Burns (eeeeeeeexcellent) and the Witch-King would be Mr. Smithers.<BR>--Sauron: Mr. Smithers, who's that young upstart in sector S-3?<BR>--Witch-King: That's Mr. Baggins sir.<BR>--Saurong: Baggins eh? Well you get him up here.<BR><BR>Treebeard: A Bed, nightstand and dresser set<BR><BR><BR><BR><BR>(a few contributions from others:<BR><BR>Legolas: Interior decorator. Think Christopher Lowell with less facial hair and more frolic.<BR><BR>Aragorn: a police officer or army officer big on "catching the bad guys"<BR><BR>Boromir: Post-traumatic stress disorder<BR><BR>Sam: Secret service - he'd happily put his life on the line.<BR><BR>Gimli: Logger. "Who cares about the spotted owl? We need our roaring fires and malt beal!"<BR><BR>For some reason i think Sauron would be a great optometrist...
User avatar
elengil
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 2684
Joined: Wed Sep 04, 2002 4:51 pm
Top

Postby Lothsell » Tue Oct 01, 2002 12:14 pm

Galadriel- Telephone Psychic<BR><BR>Celeborn- Divorced<BR><BR>Denethor- Special effects technician<BR><BR>Bilbo- The goofball, hippie uncle that Mom never wants to talk about<BR><BR>Gandalf- Stunt man (He loves to fall...)<BR><BR>Frodo- In a mental hospital<BR><BR>Sam- The orderly<BR><BR>Sauruman- Motivational speaker<BR><BR>Grima- Washington DC lobbyist<BR><BR>Legolas- Acrobat<BR><BR>Luthien- Supermodel<BR><BR>Beren- Luthien's entourage<BR><BR>Huan- Animal shelter<BR><BR>Smaug- Handbags, shoes, jackets,...<BR><BR>Haldir- Greenpeace. He climbs in trees to keep them from being chopped.
User avatar
Lothsell
Shield Bearer
 
Posts: 107
Joined: Tue Jul 23, 2002 2:50 pm
Top

Postby celadinebanks » Wed Oct 02, 2002 2:46 pm

Someone's gotta read Marvel Comics! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0>
User avatar
celadinebanks
Rider of the Mark
 
Posts: 718
Joined: Tue Jul 09, 2002 8:03 am
Top

Postby Lothsell » Thu Oct 03, 2002 9:48 am

That's Beregil, or whoever the kid in Minas Tirith was.
User avatar
Lothsell
Shield Bearer
 
Posts: 107
Joined: Tue Jul 23, 2002 2:50 pm
Top

Postby celadinebanks » Mon Oct 14, 2002 2:33 pm

Just imagine the orcs fighting over who gets to do the crossword puzzle on their local newspaper.
User avatar
celadinebanks
Rider of the Mark
 
Posts: 718
Joined: Tue Jul 09, 2002 8:03 am
Top

Postby Muaddib » Mon Oct 14, 2002 3:22 pm

Tom Bombadil: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (by Robert M. Pirsig)<BR><BR>Denethor: Sylvia Plath poetry anthology<BR><BR>Grima Wormtongue: Full Scheme Ahead: How to Use Lying, Disinformation Posturing and Other Proven Scheming Techniques to Manipulate Your Way to the Top (by Paul M. Roth)<BR><BR>Frodo: The Odyssey
User avatar
Muaddib
Shield Bearer

 
Posts: 330
Joined: Tue Oct 08, 2002 2:00 am
Location: Nashville, TN, U.S.
Top

Postby KateEowyn » Tue Oct 22, 2002 2:49 pm

Well, Muaddib, you've done it! You've got more posts than me! *grrrr*<BR>What would they read- well here's my ideas.<BR><BR>Pippin: The Cat Ate my Gymsuit or There's a Boy in the Girl's Locker Room (or something of that ilk)<BR><BR>Sam: Better Homes and Gardens<BR><BR>Bilbo: Watership Down<BR><BR>Arwen: Looking Beautiful, Sexy, and Young at Any Age<BR><BR>Eowyn: Any self-loathing complaint poetry
User avatar
KateEowyn
Shield Bearer
 
Posts: 227
Joined: Sun Oct 06, 2002 9:08 am
Top

Postby Muaddib » Tue Oct 22, 2002 3:49 pm

LOL Kate ---<BR><BR>But I think you've started theads that have persisted longer <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0><BR><BR>Cheers? <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0><BR><BR>Bi-la kaifa.
User avatar
Muaddib
Shield Bearer

 
Posts: 330
Joined: Tue Oct 08, 2002 2:00 am
Location: Nashville, TN, U.S.
Top

Postby Môrdil » Thu May 29, 2003 11:37 pm

Since Tom's house is now claende and we are allowed "light parody" (right?) I just have to bring up this thread and encourage you witty TORCers: This is hilarious<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0><BR><BR>Arwen: Doesnt have time to read. probably watches Oprah while stiching Aragorn's banner.<BR><BR>Elrond: The Joy of S...well we all know what the rest of that title is...<BR><BR>Galadriel: Ventriloquism made easy<BR><BR>Celeborn: I married Mrs. Right, I just didnt know her first name was "always"
User avatar
Môrdil
Mariner

 
Posts: 5737
Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2002 5:48 am
Top

Postby ElaraElendil » Fri May 30, 2003 12:18 am

Let's go strictly Shakespeare here for a moment:<BR><BR>Denethor: <b>King Lear</b>--nutty old man who doesn't appreciate the right kid.<BR><BR>Aragorn: <b>Henry V</b> Reluctant prince who accepts his destiny, takes charge, and wins a battle...and gets a wife in the process.<BR><BR>Gandalf: <b>The Tempest</b>--Prospero...need I say more?<BR><BR>Ewoyn: <b>Twelfth Night</b>--ok, woman dressed as a man-get it?<BR><BR>And a little Marlowe here:<BR><BR>Saruman: <b>Dr. Faustus</b> Ok, old man who wants power but sells his soul to get it.
User avatar
ElaraElendil
Ranger of the North


 
Posts: 3293
Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2003 3:20 pm
Top

Postby Môrdil » Fri May 30, 2003 12:23 am

Saruman: Dr. Faustus Ok, old man who wants power but sells his soul to get it. <BR><BR>Good one! <BR><BR>Elrond -<b>Braids and tails</b><BR><BR>Celeborn - <b>Men are from Mars, women from Venus</b>
User avatar
Môrdil
Mariner

 
Posts: 5737
Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2002 5:48 am
Top

Postby ElaraElendil » Fri May 30, 2003 12:50 am

Ewoyn: <b>Les Miserables</b>--life just seems so bleak to her...and she loves a man who doesn't love her ala Eponine.
User avatar
ElaraElendil
Ranger of the North


 
Posts: 3293
Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2003 3:20 pm
Top

Postby Môrdil » Fri May 30, 2003 1:29 am

Nonnonono! She'd read Xena of course!
User avatar
Môrdil
Mariner

 
Posts: 5737
Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2002 5:48 am
Top

Postby -|---Anduril » Fri May 30, 2003 1:34 am

Lol Bombadil read 'Zen and the art of Motorcyclemaintenance!' good one!!<BR><BR>Saruman: <b>The Prince</b> (by Machiavelli)<BR><BR>Gimli <b>snowwhite and the 7 dwarves</b><BR><BR>Elrond: <b>Look foul and scowl!</b>
User avatar
-|---Anduril
Ringbearer

 
Posts: 10440
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2003 9:08 am
Location: ACTS!
Top

Postby Sassyfriend » Thu May 03, 2012 7:01 pm

Boromir-Kara the lonely falcon

Gandalf-Walt disney world guide books

Aragorn-Left behind

Faramir-Angel walk

Legolas-When a friend dies and The grieving teen

Gimli-The curse of black moor manor

Merry-The jungle book

Pippin-Hardy boys

Frodo-The ugly duckling

Sam-Scary stories to tell in the dark

Gollum-More scary stories to tell in the dark
Sassyfriend
Shield Bearer

 
Posts: 320
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 7:35 am
Top

Postby frodolives668 » Sat Jun 02, 2012 10:18 am

Frodo: The Road
Merry: Pippin's Diary
Pippin: Merry's Diary
Legolas: Eat, Pray, Love
Sauran: Life of the Party
Gollum: Big Book of Riddles
Arwen: Twilight
Eowyn: Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them
Wormtongue: Top 200 Best Pick-Up Lines
User avatar
frodolives668
Rider of the Mark
 
Posts: 602
Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:01 am
Location: Loony Bin
Top

Postby rwhen » Mon Jun 04, 2012 7:32 am

Eowyn - Secretariat

Gandalf - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azcaban

Bard - Dragonheart

Pippin - Beavis and Butthead

Frodo - All the Harry Potter books

Sam - Jack In The Beanstalk
Love is as big or as little as a hug!!

vison! Alex!Rowanberry!OldToby

I will always treasure and remember your appreciation. Thank you. -2007 WCA's
Overwhelmed by your support and appreciation. Thank you. - 2008 WCA's

The Expected Party!! is now on the road to Gondor to celebrate. Join us.

And getting into trouble with Rally The Eldar.

Time out of Mind, forever bound to my Knight Ayslhyn

Vanadarlin', my SSOTH - 143 forever :hug:
User avatar
rwhen
Gettin' Older!!

 
Posts: 31717
Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2001 12:44 pm
Location: Daytrippin'
Top

Postby frodolives668 » Sat Jun 09, 2012 9:47 am

These are great! :lol:

Ooo! For gollum, howbout The Metamorphosis? And a friend of mine suggested that Theodin would probably read the Heartland sieries.
User avatar
frodolives668
Rider of the Mark
 
Posts: 602
Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:01 am
Location: Loony Bin
Top

Re: What books would LOTR's characters read?

Postby siddharth » Fri Mar 15, 2013 7:11 pm

:rofl:

I haven't laughed this much in a long time.

Lemme try.

Frodo- The burden

Gandalf- All of Harry Potter

Aragorn- Sherlock Holmes (he's a tracker afterall)

Bilbo- Stay hungry. Stay foolish.

Gimli- Snow white and the 7 dwarfs

Boromir- The martyr

Saruman- Mein Kampf

Sam- Julia Child's Secret recipes

Pippin- Jokebook of the century!

Gollum- Beauty and the Beast
User avatar
siddharth
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 4171
Joined: Sun Dec 16, 2012 10:13 am
Location: ===Always changing===
Top

Re: What books would LOTR's characters read?

Postby Elinor Gamgee » Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:53 pm

here are a few more:
Arwen: Romeo and Juliet <3
Sam: The Chronicles of Narnia series
Legolass: The Hunger Games trilogy (The main character is awesome with a bow and arrow :) )
User avatar
Elinor Gamgee
Citizen of Imladris
 
Posts: 44
Joined: Mon Jul 01, 2013 9:00 am
Location: Seattle, WA
Top

Re: What books would LOTR's characters read?

Postby BagginsGirl » Wed Aug 07, 2013 9:44 pm

Ohh, I got one for Sam!
The Farmers Almanac :)
This isn't a book but I think Smeagol would like Dr.Jeckel and Mr. Hyde.
:)
BagginsGirl
Rider of the Mark

 
Posts: 833
Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2013 9:53 pm
Top


Return to The Lighter Side: Tom's House

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests