If Tolkien had been French!

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If Tolkien had been French!

Postby Mingbearer » Sat Apr 19, 2008 7:52 am

If it had been Professeur Tolkiene, would the Hobbits have lived in Paris?

Where would Bilbo le Hobbit have lived? And would the Bradybucks have liked the Seine? Or would the Tooks live around Montmartre?

Perhaps the wandering Elves would have liked the Tuileries?
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Postby Mingbearer » Wed Apr 23, 2008 11:14 am

No hobbits in Paris? Or is it that there are others who have not been.

Saruman would have been well appointed in the Bastille.
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Postby rwhen » Wed Apr 23, 2008 12:30 pm

Always hate to see a thread not posted to...but this femme has no french in her at all. Sorry Ming.

Maybe someone else can help you get your French on.
Love is as big or as little as a hug!!

vison! Alex!Rowanberry!oldtoby!Cock Robin(CR)!Prim!Calma! I will never ever forget you.

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Postby GwenElf » Wed Apr 23, 2008 12:51 pm

I've never been to France, either; took a few years of French, so I'll see what I can do.

Doubtless, however, the Elves would have eaten crepes rather than lembas. :D
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Postby elf-maiden » Wed Apr 23, 2008 1:18 pm

If Tolkien had been French, the Hobbits, men, and elves would have surrendered and Sauron would have taken over Middle-earth. That, or all the women would have marched on Morder in a rage of not having baguettes anymore. Both, of course, assuming that French-Tolkien finished LOTR at all.


<_<

:P
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Postby GwenElf » Wed Apr 23, 2008 2:37 pm

What if we turned this into "If Tolkien had been *insert nationality here*? That way posters from all over could throw in their quirks.

So, for example..

If Tolkien had been American, nothing would have ever happened because Homeland Security would never have let Frodo out of the Shire with that ring--after all, he could be a terrorist!!

Just a thought.
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Postby rwhen » Thu Apr 24, 2008 12:22 pm

What if Tolkien had been Swiss? Need I say more...you know the neutrality thingie..;) BUT he would have a hellofa knife and a "30 Things To Do With Fondu" book out. :D
Love is as big or as little as a hug!!

vison! Alex!Rowanberry!oldtoby!Cock Robin(CR)!Prim!Calma! I will never ever forget you.

I will always treasure and remember your appreciation. Thank you. -2007 WCA's
Overwhelmed by your support and appreciation. Thank you. - 2008 WCA's

The Expected Party!! is now on the road to Gondor to celebrate. Join us.

And getting into trouble with Rally The Eldar.

Yes Ayslhyn, I do still remember.

Vanadarlin', my SSOTH - 143 forever
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Postby GwenElf » Thu Apr 24, 2008 6:07 pm

If Tolkien had been Chinese, the Elves would have been 5"7 and considered tall.
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Postby rowanberry » Fri Apr 25, 2008 4:43 am

If Tolkien had been Russian, Frodo would have danced Trepak on the table at the Prancing Pony, and the Cordial of Imladris would have been vodka. :P
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Postby Mingbearer » Fri Apr 25, 2008 10:07 am

If Tolkien had studied at Glasgow University:

The Rohirrim would be a bit confused about wearing kilts (not to mention the Hobbits).
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Postby rwhen » Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:00 am

If Tolkien has been Brazillian, Rohan would instead be gauchos on pasafino horses and lembas would be replaced by a tortilla.
Love is as big or as little as a hug!!

vison! Alex!Rowanberry!oldtoby!Cock Robin(CR)!Prim!Calma! I will never ever forget you.

I will always treasure and remember your appreciation. Thank you. -2007 WCA's
Overwhelmed by your support and appreciation. Thank you. - 2008 WCA's

The Expected Party!! is now on the road to Gondor to celebrate. Join us.

And getting into trouble with Rally The Eldar.

Yes Ayslhyn, I do still remember.

Vanadarlin', my SSOTH - 143 forever
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Postby GwenElf » Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:00 am

If Tolkien had been Hawaiian, the Elven songs would have been accompanied on the ukulele and everyone would have worn leis.
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Postby Mingbearer » Tue Apr 29, 2008 3:54 pm

If JRRT had been Irish there might have been a Potato King instead of the rather strangely horse-obessed Rohirrim.

A charge of potatoes outside of Minas Tirith?

The Rangers might have used them in the wild too.
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Postby GwenElf » Tue Apr 29, 2008 5:33 pm

If Tolkien had been Japanese, the LOTR would've been a manga.
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Postby rowanberry » Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:29 am

If Tolkien had been Finnish, all his songs and poems would have been written in trochaic tetrameter (the "Kalevala meter"), and lembas would have been made of rye.
Image I'm judging MoST again this year! Ready for the opening banquet...

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The Sons of Fëanor re-embodied in the beginning of the Fourth Age? Yes, for The Maedhros and Tygarya Saga – and, as fire-hearted as ever!

On my way to Morannon on the Walk to Rivendell and Beyond!


Shire and Shutter - the TORC photoblog

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Postby GwenElf » Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:11 pm

If Tolkien had been Australian, the Nazgul would have ridden giant flying kangaroos.
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Postby Mingbearer » Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:31 pm

On a lighter note! :shock: Which George Bush would Denethor prefer for company?

You can broaden that to which still-living President he would prefer to keep him company?
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Postby rwhen » Wed Apr 30, 2008 1:00 pm

Oh that would have to be Dubya. Who else would assist him with his denial of the obvious? Who else could make him feel as power hungry? Who else would ignore everyone and only do what destructive thing that he wanted to do? Just sayin'.
Love is as big or as little as a hug!!

vison! Alex!Rowanberry!oldtoby!Cock Robin(CR)!Prim!Calma! I will never ever forget you.

I will always treasure and remember your appreciation. Thank you. -2007 WCA's
Overwhelmed by your support and appreciation. Thank you. - 2008 WCA's

The Expected Party!! is now on the road to Gondor to celebrate. Join us.

And getting into trouble with Rally The Eldar.

Yes Ayslhyn, I do still remember.

Vanadarlin', my SSOTH - 143 forever
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Postby GwenElf » Wed Apr 30, 2008 1:34 pm

:rofl:

'Fraid I can't do political figures. However, if Tolkien had been consorting with Bush, the War of the Ring would never have happened, because the Gondorians would have made a preemptive strike against the terrorism brewing in Mordor.
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Postby rwhen » Wed Apr 30, 2008 2:29 pm

:lmbo:

Indeed. And Condi would have been sent as an emmisary to Sauron who would have vaporized her. Cheney would have gone hunting with Sauron and put a load of buckshot in his posterior and Tony Blair would have sat back and laughed at it all.
Love is as big or as little as a hug!!

vison! Alex!Rowanberry!oldtoby!Cock Robin(CR)!Prim!Calma! I will never ever forget you.

I will always treasure and remember your appreciation. Thank you. -2007 WCA's
Overwhelmed by your support and appreciation. Thank you. - 2008 WCA's

The Expected Party!! is now on the road to Gondor to celebrate. Join us.

And getting into trouble with Rally The Eldar.

Yes Ayslhyn, I do still remember.

Vanadarlin', my SSOTH - 143 forever
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Postby GwenElf » Wed Apr 30, 2008 3:32 pm

The public, meanwhile, would have swung from violent patriotism to violent hate of their fearless leader Denethor in the short space of a few years, allowing their personal freedom and privacy to be sapped away slowly in the interim.
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Postby Mingbearer » Wed Apr 30, 2008 3:51 pm

Well, in order to prevent the War of the Ring we should have had Bill Clinton on a horse.

Being from the South he would have gone doown a treat at Edoras, before relaxing for a while in the Houses of Healing (full of weed).

Denethor could have sent him to make peace at the Black Gate (and so been very happy to see the nice President and his entourage).
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Postby Gungnir » Wed Jul 23, 2008 2:59 am

Back to the original question, if Tolkien had been French, Bag End would have been called 'Cul de Sac'
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Postby sandra » Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:52 pm

If Tolkien had been Spanish, the Shire would have had a bullring.
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Postby Evenstar_of_Imladris » Thu Jul 24, 2008 11:53 pm

If Tolkien had been French, Michel Delving would have been called the Louvre. ;)
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