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Postby Frodobaggins1986 » Thu Apr 07, 2005 6:46 pm

(Sorry, I wasn't able to respond earlier.)

Well, N_M, here's the fact.

You're 18, I'm 18. I'm starting to see things the same way. We're growing up, that's all there is to it, whether we like it or not. Unfortunately, it seems that both of us spent too much of our childhoods wanting to be grown up (or in your case, pretty much having to be grown up) that we missed most of it.

Henceforth, we are beginning new roads. We are putting aside the old, and putting on the new. Who knows where these new roads may take us?

All I hope is, we will remain friends.

(And I hope that's cleared the air enough so that others may begin posting here again.)
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Postby striderchick » Thu Apr 07, 2005 10:03 pm

No_Man and Frodo i haven't.. er.. read those messages, but, the board isn't really the best place for those talks. it's not so private. if it's all over, then it's all good. and i hope you're both ok.
:hug:


a supposed friend just told me to die. that was charming =\.

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Postby truehobbit » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:27 am

Sorry I haven't posted for so long! :oops:

No Man and Frodo, I hope you are friends again - striderchick is right that it's easier to solve those problems in private, posting them on a messageboard often makes it harder to take back anything that was said.

That said, I think Frodo never meant any harm, even though "foul mood" might have been a bad choice of words - to me it seemed he was seriously worried at not having heard from you in a while, No Man. :)

Frodo, I'm sure you'll understand that in No Man's circumstances, she can't always be happy and sociable - and to a good friend like you she should be able to show how she really feels without getting in trouble. :)

No Man, I think once you get away from home to college, you'll have a chance for a new start, to begin to see things in a new and, hopefully, better light. I really hope it will be a great and positive change for you. :)

And, although I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be saying this ;) - you are an adult now, so even though I think it's natural that you want to stick by your family and help them out, no one can force you to do so any longer!

striderchick, yikes - I hope you told them you were not going to oblige any time soon! ;)
Thanks for the report from your history trip! Your school seems to have a lot of activities, that's pretty cool! :)

Edit: forgot to ask - Frodo, what is a BK?
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Postby Frodobaggins1986 » Sat Apr 09, 2005 5:37 pm

BK is Burger King. That is where I presently work. (And I need more hours! Not a raise! More hours!)

I hope N_M got to read that last one. I did call her on the phone yesterday, but it wasn't about that, it was about...oh, better not talk about it.

Yeah, some of that should've been kept private. I kind of got on a roll of how I wanted to say things and didn't think until too late.

Umpteenth zillionth time I've done something like that.
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Postby truehobbit » Mon Apr 11, 2005 3:16 pm

Ah, Frodo, don't worry! :hug:

I do that all the time - talk first and think later, I mean. :)

It's not that anyone is annoyed when you share private trouble here, actually I've always thought one of the amazing things of this site was that people do share the bad things in life, too, and get support and advice from their friends. The worry was just that sometimes it's harder to make up when you have a conflict with someone in public.
From what I can see, you really care about N_M, and I'm sure she also cares about you, as she wants you to understand how she feels. :)

Speaking from my own experience, I must say that as long as I argue with someone, they mean something to me. :)

Thanks for the info about BK - I hope you get more hours and a raise! :D
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Postby oldtoby » Mon Apr 11, 2005 7:11 pm

Ooooo Heavy stuff going on in here.

Anybody want some spam? :wink: :D
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Postby No_Man » Mon Apr 11, 2005 8:15 pm

I guess what I am feeling can be best summed up in this poem I found titled "Depression":

A helplessness; a hopelessness
A cry that none can hear
Echoes through my wounded heart –
I face my greatest fear.

A helplessness; a hopelessness
A standing all alone,
Terrified beyond my wits,
Scared to the deepest bone.

A helplessness; a hopelessness
To see others in the light
And to be left, dim and confused,
Out in the deep’ning night.

A helplessness; a hopelessness
To stand two feet away
And yet, to be a world apart
From that eternal day.

A helplessness; a hopelessness
All others seem so sure
That they’ll find out in some odd way –
For me they’ll find a cure.

A helplessness; a hopelessness
I’ve all but given up.
For me there is no way to win,
Nor a drop within my cup.

A helplessness; a hopelessness
I’m chained down to my work.
Depression lies within me still
And grins an evil smirk.

A helplessness; a hopelessness
Chasing thoughts within my head.
Let no man suffer now for me –
Just let me die instead.

A helplessness; a hopelessness
Can no one see my plight?
I yearn to find a way somehow
To be free of Anger’s bite.

A helplessness; a hopelessness
This is my final plea:
O God, somehow, from way up high
Look down and rescue me.


I just don't get life right now. I wish there were a better alternative out there, but I guess if wishes were fishes, the Gollum in me would be having a feast. (And yes, I did catch the appropriate usage of 'no man' in stanza eight. I think the poet must have been thinking of me when the poem was written - or it is just freaky coincidence.)
~N_M
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Postby oldtoby » Mon Apr 11, 2005 8:34 pm

Awwwww :hug: I'm so sorry you are feeling down, wish I could do more to help you. :(
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Postby truehobbit » Tue Apr 12, 2005 11:55 am

No Man - :( :hug: - I suppose when you are feeling that way, anything I can say will appear a bit trite, but like I said previously, I really think that going to college will give you a new perspective on life!
When are you starting? I hope you'll be able to take courage to face the troubles you have now and then make a new start when the time comes! :)

Have you tried the "depression"-thread over in Talk? That's for people suffering from depression to share their thoughts and support each other - I haven't read much in it, but I've heard that for some people it's a helpful thread.
Maybe, if it's very bad, you should also talk to someone who might help you in real life, like a teacher you trust or a pastor (you are pretty active in church, I think, from what you tell us here) - there might be someone there with special knowledge about your problems.

And if it helps you to talk here, you're of course welcome to share your feelings with us here! :)

toby - I've seen you wandering aimlessly through adoptions! Do you need some guidance? ;)
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Postby oldtoby » Tue Apr 12, 2005 12:04 pm

Guidance? Certainly not! I've been here longer than some of the "adopters" anyways. :wink: No, I am just wandering about and avoiding work. :P and bustin' on the noobs.
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Postby truehobbit » Tue Apr 12, 2005 12:33 pm

Well, you look like you could do with it nevertheless! :P ;)

So, please, in adoptions - just real meat, no spam, ok? :)

(And, er, you won't find Silwen in here anyway, you know! ;) )
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Postby oldtoby » Tue Apr 12, 2005 4:21 pm

Thats a shame. :(
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Postby No_Man » Tue Apr 12, 2005 6:46 pm

Well, one of the reasons I'm so down is that my youth pastor has. . . .dropped me. Well, I don't know if that is true or even intentional, but she promised she would call me last week, and she never did. (And, trust me, I needed her to call. I was at the lowest I've been in a long time. Cried myself to sleep a couple times, couldn't sleep well at all one of the nights, tended to have moderately suicidal thoughts. . . .the works.)
As for visiting the 'depression' thread, I have been meaning to, but I have limited computer time, so haven't had a chance. Maybe someday.

On an entirely different topic, can anyone tell me how to post some pictures on the internet so you guys can see them? I have 16 of my NZ pictures on a CD, so now I thought I could show them to you.

~N_M

P. S. This is post 100 for me.
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Postby oldtoby » Tue Apr 12, 2005 6:58 pm

Yay! Congratulations No_Man!!!

The easiest way to post pics is to go to Photobucket .com and set up an account. Load your pictures there then copy the URL from Photobucket into a post here like so:

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y41/oldtoby15/scan3a.jpg

Another option is to get a Yahoo photoalbum set up and put your photos there and link to that.
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Postby Frodobaggins1986 » Wed Apr 13, 2005 8:13 am

One thing to do is get a free site at www.topcities.com. However, you have to keep it active every few months or they'll take it off.
(Didn't you once say you'd need some help and wondered if a certain friend could help? I have word that that friend doesn't want to charge you for it!)

Unfortunately, recently I've been contemplating saying farewell to all at this thread. I have not yet reached a decision, but it started during the whole N_M and frodo thing. If I can't keep my fingers from typing private stuff on public boards, I don't want to cause any more damage.
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Postby truehobbit » Wed Apr 13, 2005 2:01 pm

No Man, congrats on a hundred posts! :hug:

And Frodo, happy TORC-birthday - you registered exactly a year ago today! :hug:

I have a photobucket account, too, the nice thing is that they show the piccies in a larger format than yahoo.

With a yahoo ID however, you not only get the album, but also some webspace and access to their Instant Messenger. :D

Frodo, I'm sorry to hear you are so unhappy with the discussion continuing here - maybe if you and N_M made another attempt to sort it out in private? I'm just grieved to see that two such good friends seem to be at odds. You certainly aren't causing any damage to this thread, but if you mean the friendship between you two, of course I can't tell what's best to do. I just hope we'll keep seeing you both here and elsewhere on TORC! :)

No Man, I'm sorry your pastor let you down - that certainly was the worst possible moment for her to fail you! :(
But do you think she really did it because she meant to drop you? Maybe she was prevented by things she couldn't help? I hope you can get into contact with her again. Then ask her for an explanation, because I think you have a right to hear one.

I understand about not having a lot of online time - it's just that I was thinking that maybe the people in the depression thread could relate to having suicidal thoughts etc. better than me (although basically I think this sounds like something that needs real life help) because I must say that that's something I have difficulty to really comprehend, so I don't rightly know how to respond.
Of course I've felt low often enough myself - and in the past couple of years I've had some very low low points indeed - so I know about crying myself to sleep etc - but I've never had suicidal thoughts. I mean, very often life sucks - no doubt about that! But it doesn't do that all the time. So, I guess the thing is to just see it through, good times and bad. Hmmh, not sure if that's helpful, but I can't just keep silent, I guess. :)
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Postby striderchick » Thu Apr 14, 2005 10:51 pm

Frodo, i'm really sorry if i stuck my nose in it, i;m not sure if it came out the way i intended?\


i'm kinda depressed too. three friends have stopped talking to me, and none of them have told me why.. all i got was "die". real fun. and they won't tell anyone else why they're mad at me either.


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Postby salean » Sun Apr 17, 2005 5:50 am

*bounces in*

Hello again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, I haven't been around for a loooooooong time. So I shall tell you where I have been.
Whether you want to hear or not :P ;)

Soooooo, Easter holidays. Two and a half weeks off school. Technicly this should mean that I have more time to post, but hey, for some reason 5 of my friends and 3 members ofmy family all decided to be born in the same two weeks. Starting with my friend on April 1 (she was born on April Fool's day!!!!) going on untill my sister on April 15. Plus it was easter and we had a lot (and I mean a lot) of family gatherings to remember my Grandad and my Uncle and to celebrate birthdays. And I went to Normandy for a week (which was reaaaaaallllly cool). And also I've been spending a lot more time writing than I used to. So........

I'm sensing that a lot of people here are needing hugs...... (me being bad at giving advice etc.) so :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug; :grouphug:

Congrats on 100 N_M!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy TORC b'day Frodo!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry if this post is a bit too hyper-ish but I'm in a very good mood :D :D :D I have no idea why...... but hey!!!!!!

:P Sal :P
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Postby truehobbit » Sun Apr 17, 2005 12:09 pm

striderchick, I don't think you did anything to offend Frodo! :)

Yikes, those are some "friends" you have there! :shock:

I'd be just furious if someone said that sort of thing to me!
Hmmh, if they refuse to tell you what they think is wrong, I don't see what you can do, apart from ignoring them. Maybe they think they are being funny. :roll:

salean, thanks for all the hugs, they are always helpful! :hug:

And it's so good to see someone in a good mood! :D

So, you've been having birthday parties almost every day for the past two weeks?
Not too bad, I think - if you don't ruin your stomach with too much cake in the process! :P ;)
(But I think it can also be a bit stressful, too. :) )
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Postby Frodobaggins1986 » Sun Apr 17, 2005 12:50 pm

No, the only person who offended me was myself. Me and my big mouth mentality. I am not offended at anyone else. Like I said, I'm only considering it, so I've decided to stay, unless I do something stupid again.

And I'd TOTALLY forgotten when I'd registered at TORC.

By the way, N_M, Donna is very sorry!
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Postby striderchick » Mon Apr 18, 2005 6:22 pm

Frodo good to hear your decision, i'm sure you won't do anything stupid enough to make you leave.

truehobbit yes, really amazing friends aren't they. it's really got me lost though.. well.. the one who told me to die, is just.. gone, another one i'd really like to kick, because i know that he stopped talking to me because he was pretty much told to, but the other guy.. i don't know how to file him, i mean.. i'm angry with him because he's behind the whole thing, but i really cared about him, and it makes it harder.. i wanna kick him too, but don't know that that'd work out as planned.


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Postby No_Man » Mon Apr 18, 2005 7:16 pm

Hello, all!
Striderchick, I'm so sorry about your friends. I wish I could help you figure out what the deal is. (Btw, I know a couple professional assassins, so if you need them. . . . . :wink: )

My week hasn't been going too good or too bad. Friday night I somehow wrenched my left knee and at least partially dislocated it. Of course, since right now is such a liesurely time of year in the greenhouses, I have been permitted to lie in bed all day and keep my weight off it. :roll: No, seriously, I have been on my feet, walking, and often running, since then. For the most part, the knee is only annoying, but then it will pop, and numbing pain spreads throughout the leg. Simply wonderful!

Frodo, Miss Donna may be sorry, but apparently not enough to let me know. (Or maybe she is afraid of the reaction she will get.) If she keeps it up, she will be very sorry indeed! Don't tell her that. I want to see how long it takes her to call on her own accord. But, yes, I am highly ticked off with her right now.

~N_M
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Postby No_Man » Mon Apr 18, 2005 7:25 pm

Here is a link to some of my pictures (if this works for once) :http://photobucket.com/albums/y116/No_Man/.

I hope it works. I probably didn't do it right.

~N_M
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Postby Mahima » Tue Apr 19, 2005 2:48 am

My God!!! I haven't been here in ages. What a rotte adopter I am!! :oops: :(

Well hugs to everyone, and I hope you haven't forgotten me!! RL has had me so swamped, but I should be able to poke my head out of the swamp now. :)
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Postby salean » Tue Apr 19, 2005 12:19 pm

Hey everyone!!! Thought I'd drop in and say hi because biological pest control research homework is not the most exciting thing to be doing.......

(yes, I'm procrastinating.... how did you guess?)

:hug: Mahima!!!!! Course we haven't forgotton you!!!!!

Wow N_M those photos were so cool and..... prettiful!!!!!!!!!!!! Those waterfalls...... and the bay....... and..... and..... they're just soooo cool!!!!!

Yeah, I quickly discovered that cake, pizza and haribos for breakfast didn't sit too well with my stomach..... :P

*minimizes screen as footsteps are heard*

gotta run. Biology homework calls.

*scampers out*

:P Sal :P
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Postby oldtoby » Tue Apr 19, 2005 4:22 pm

Mahima- Just wanted to say I love your sig pic, as it is the cover art for the first copy of "The Hobbit" that I ever got, from my grandmother 20 some years ago. :)
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Postby Frodobaggins1986 » Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:49 am

N_M, those pics (which work by the way, I knew you could do it!) are great. Sometime you should get your Gollum pic up.

Oldtoby, that's the same edition that my dad gave me! I now have two. His sister (who lives in England) sent me a copy of it. I used that one (the new one) to write my Hobbit script, and also utilized it's foreword about runes to write up a whole Dwarf rune to English alphabet rune chart! (N_M has a copy, and we used them for special messages so much we almost learned them like a second alphabet!)

Salean, I've almost become addicted to antacids. For that reason, I'm laying off chicken sandwiches. And baked potatoes. And I never eat chinese.
Last edited by Frodobaggins1986 on Fri Apr 29, 2005 9:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby striderchick » Wed Apr 20, 2005 9:29 pm

No_Man, very nice of you. i'll let you know if i need them ;)
wrenching your knee? oh that is so not fun... i've had many things happen to my knees, the most memorable i think was when one unlocked, over-extended, and then locked again whilest it was still over-extended.. and i usually translate "over-extend" into "bend backwards".. youchy!!!. so, whatever has happened to your knee, you have my sympathy.. "pop"ing?? and numbing pain?? doesn't sound fun.

nice photo's by the way.

Edit: the knee incident.. was all whilest i was on a trampolene during a visit to my uncle's farm.. and they all heard me screaming.. took them a while to do anything, but they heard me..

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Postby truehobbit » Fri Apr 22, 2005 2:08 pm

Frodo - :hug: - don't stress yourself! :)

striderchick, it's because you cared that it makes you the more angry at the guy :hug: - hmmh, maybe you could get a friend to find out what they are thinking?

Ewwww, best wishes to all the hurt knees - it sounds painful! :grouphug:

Lovely photos, No Man, thanks for sharing! :)
The one with you on it - is that a gigantic split stone behind which you are standing?

Mahima, where have you been? We were about to send a search squad! ;)
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Postby No_Man » Fri Apr 22, 2005 7:12 pm

No, Hobby, it is a gigantic split stone in which I am standing. It is one of the Moeraki Boulders, on the South Island, just north of Dunedain (sp?). It isn't my favourite picture of myself, (none of the pictures of me are) but it was the only picture of me I had on the disk, so I deemed it worthy of being shown.

Thanks for all the compliments on the pictures. The real praise should go to my dad for giving me the camera for my birthday.

My knee is slowly improving, emphasis on the 'slowly.' It still pops, but not as frequent.

Namarie!
~N_M
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