well it looks like I was wrong... and not as strong as I imagine myself to be. I had a revolution on my hands yesterday and I had to take a step back.
I HATE that; I am not the type of person who decides something and changes her mind. Not my style. But I am also not entirely stupid; if only 2 people had been unhappy about the change I would have pushed it but I can't fight 10 unless I fire them all. And I don't know that my bosses would be happy about it.
One is on final warning though because she swatted at me to tell me to not add a word... I don't make rush decision in anger but honestly I was just about to fire her butt. Instead I had a meeting with her and told her that any further action of disrespect would be the last one. She did not catch my drift because she said that the case was closed
. I am particularly angry at myself for relenting because these ladies now probably believe they can do what the hell they want.
But I honestly did not have the energy to fight an entire group; I am exhausted and working 12 hours a day is not helping. I could not even sleep this morning because this situation keeps me awake.
I don't believe in constant fight and I don't like to act like a tyrant but they act like entitled brats and that makes me really angry. In fact in hindsight one of them threatened to make me lose my job... should do something about that... But mostly I am disappointed because some people whom I thought would go along with the change were extremely angry.
I am sorry I'm complaining so much; I am just exhausted and to be honest also dejected and jealous
. It seems my treatment is going nowhere and lady friends around me are all getting pregnant. Let's not even talk about the constant flow of celeb's these days who are having babies, getting pregnant and showing it off. It really seems to be happening just when I can't. I know it's very self-centered and totally off as the world is definitely not rallying to make me feel bad... I know it but I feel like crap.
I am sorry you guys get the brunt of this; I guess it's mostly when I am on my own with no one to talk to that this hits me bad... And to be honest I did not speak about this with my husband because he would have been upset that I let my team force me to step back. He would have fired the lot of them but I did not have the guts to do it. Oh I should stop kidding myself they are not "my" team; they are obviously - for the most part - their own team and I probably should fire them all but I do feel bad because I know how hard it is to find a job in the market these days... and I don't manage with threats it's not me. Oh well...
On the other hand my father had his final chemo before the super aggressive one that will keep him in a sterile room for 3 weeks and he is doing really well. He is not looking forward to the next step but after that final step he should be cancer free; by his 60th Bday so that's good.
at least he's got good news...