Legolas and Me (!), or, Every Fangirl's Dream - A Very Stupid (and Creatively Spelled) Story by Rana-Minethlos and Lanthiriel

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Legolas and Me (!), or, Every Fangirl's Dream - A Very Stupi

Postby Guest » Thu Oct 07, 2004 12:00 am

<em>A/N: This is a parody. It is not meant to offend anyone. But if you want to take it seriously, you go right ahead. Lanthiriel and I don't own Middle Earth or its inhabitants, of course, but Krystelle Kreme is our own creation.</em><P><strong>Legolas and Me (!), or, Every Fangirl's Dream</strong><P>One frighteningly bright and sunny day I was walking down the sidewalk. Then-<P>SPLOOSH!!<P>I was in Middle Earth. I turned around and saw an orc behind me! Eeerp! I screamed a beautifully piercing feminine scream. Then-<P>TWANG! SWISH! POP! THUD! OUCH!<P>There was an arrow sticking out of the orc's nose. I looked around for the person who had fired the arrow - who could also be called an archer - and saw LEGOLAS!!!!<P><em>He is so hot,</em> I thought, and swooned.<P>*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*<P>When I came to, Legolas was nowhere to be seen. Then I caught a glimpse of golden hair disappearing into the trees. I ran after, calling "Leggy! Leggy! Come back to me!" Unfortunately, I failed to notice the rather large branch that was about to collide with my head.<P>*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*<P>When I came to (again) someone was dabbing my brow. Could it be.....?<P>I opened my eyes. It was LEGOLAS! I was so incredibly stunned by his amazing gorgeousness that I could not speak.<P>"Are you all right?" he asked tenderly.<P>"I...I think so," I answered, faintly. "Is this Mirkwood?" I stared up at him, not hearing his reply. His eyes were so....blue. His hair was so...shiny. He was so...perfect. I only realized that I had spoken my thought aloud when Legolas's expression became positively melting. "I think I'm in love," I finished.<P>"With who?" Legolas asked.<P>"You!" I exclaimed.<P>"Really?" he said. "That makes me feel really happy."<P>We were gazing ardently into each other's eyes when I asked, "Do you return my feelings??"<P>"Yes. Oh, yes, umm...what was your name again?"<P>"Krystelle Kreme," I said, whipping out a box of doughnuts. "Wanna doughnut?"<P>Legolas jumped back. "Where did that come from?? And what are these do-nuts?"<P>"They're, like, dough thing with a hole in the middle," I said. "They can clog your arteries and stuff, but they're really good. And I have no idea where they came from."<P>Legolas looked confused, but then his incredible gorgeous features relaxed. "Any food that you like, I wll try, darling."<P>He took a chocolate glazed donut with pick and green sprinkles. He carefully took a bite, smiled, and then choked violently.<P>"LEGGY!!" I screeched, pounding him on the back. "How do you like them?"<P>He finished coughing. "They're fine. They're just dandy," He replied, without much much enthusiasm.<P>"I KNEW you'd like them" I replied in bubbly tones. "Have another!"<P>"Well....alright," Legolas said, taking another donut. The next second I saw something brown flying through the air.<P>"WAS THAT MY DOUGHNUT??!!" I screamed.<P>"Your donut? No, no." He patted me on the shoulder. "It must have been a squirrel."<P>"Oh," I said, relieved. "Gosh, I was worried for a second." Suddenly, what he had said a few moments before sank into my brilliant brain. "You what?! Did you say - did you actually say - that ....that you love me??"<P>"Not in so many words, but - I do."<P>"Aaaah!" I yelled. "This is wonderful! IT's just like fan fiction! This is EVERY FANGIRL'S DREAM!!!" An awkward silence ensued.<P>"Should we kiss?" Legolas asked.<P>"Yes!!" I cried, throwing myself into his arms. We kissed. It was incredible. In fact, it inspired me to compose and sing this work of musical genius: <BR>"Leggy, oh Leggy, your eyes are so blue,<BR> Leggy, oh Leggy, to you I will be true,<BR>Leggy, oh Leggy your hair is so gold,<BR>I hope you will love me<BR>Until we are old."<P>Legolas frowned, puzzled. "But I'm an Elf," he said. "Elves don't get old."<P>"Poetic license," I said cheerily. "and besides, I <em>will</em> get old."<P>"Oh, dear. That isn't good," he replied, worriedly.<P>"Don't worry!" I bounced. "I'll be reborn in Valinor and then we'll live happily ever after!"<P>"Well, that'a relief," he said, smiling broadly.<P>And we walked off into the gorgeous sunset. But the sunset wasn't as gorgeous as my darling Leggy.<P> THE END
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A work of Genius!

Postby Harpist_of_Rohan » Thu Oct 07, 2004 10:30 am

<p>I'm rolling on the floor... tears of joy are making a puddle... the sunset that hasn't happened yet hasn't attracted my notice because I'm laughing so hard.<BR>Keep it up girls, this is priceless!<BR><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0><BR><BR>H.R. </p>
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Henniad!

Postby Rana-Minethlos » Thu Oct 07, 2004 1:26 pm

<p>On behalf of myself and Lanthriel, I give our heartiest thanks. Since you found this so amusing, you might also like "Legolas Makes a Decision" at http://www.tolkienonline.com/docs/16898.html. I will be posting a sequel in the moderately near future. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0> thanks ever so for the comment!<BR><BR>~Rana </p>
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THAT WAS BLOODY BRILLIANT!

Postby *LadyofMirkwood* » Thu Oct 07, 2004 3:38 pm

<p>Hooray for Rana and Lanthriel! Cant wait for more more more! I laughed, I cried...then I fell over. It was moving! LOL<BR><BR>PS- Daisy loved it too *WINK*<BR><BR>Namarie<BR>Mirky (and *cough Daisy cough*)<BR> </p>
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huh...

Postby LadyKatherine » Thu Oct 07, 2004 6:27 pm

<p>this was funny! ya, i did read "Legolas Makes a Decision" and i loved it!! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> you see, i think that some "Leggy" fans go to far in their "crushes". </p>
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Oh, my goodness!

Postby Lalaith-Elerrina » Fri Oct 08, 2004 6:03 am

<p>I actually started tearing up, this was so funny. I loved the "beautifully piercing feminine scream". And all the swooning. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0><img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> </p>
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late but im here!

Postby LEGOLAS_ESTELSTAR » Sat Oct 09, 2004 6:00 pm

<p>haha, you rock rana! keep it up! </p>
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Whee...

Postby Flying_dolphin » Sun Oct 10, 2004 8:19 pm

<p>I love this. Wonderful...especially the first few lines, like the beautifully piercing feminine scream and all. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> </p>
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Lanthiriel...

Postby Harpist_of_Rohan » Tue Oct 12, 2004 9:47 am

<p>Yes I am a harpist! Good to find another one on the boards. I started a thread for harpists a while back, but there weren't enough of us to keep it alive... <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif"border=0><BR>H.R. </p>
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*beams*

Postby Rana-Minethlos » Tue Oct 12, 2004 3:39 pm

<p>Thank you all so much! Lanthiriel and I wrote this during summer vacation, usually while we were on a sugar high, which was most of the time, really.<BR><BR>"Legolas Has An Appointment" is coming up. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> </p>
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HAhahaha

Postby AGLHE » Thu Oct 14, 2004 9:42 am

<p>Do you think she could have swooned any more. <BR>Oh yeah how dense! A squirrel flying in the trees DUH Girl!!!<BR><BR>I so enjoyed it.<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0> </p>
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BRILLIENCE!!!

Postby Maranwe-Ar-Feiniel » Tue Oct 19, 2004 6:35 pm

<p>Yeah. The title says all. </p>
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This is so funny!

Postby *Evenstar » Sat Oct 23, 2004 10:16 am

<p>Krystelle Kream?! Super! lol What a Mary-Sue! </p>
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hahahaha

Postby KeeperOfHearts » Mon Oct 25, 2004 7:04 pm

<p>i llloooovvveedddd it!!!<BR>oh my! you are going to make a sequel to Leggy makes a desision!!!!<BR>oh my when??????????? </p>
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Hallo!

Postby Rana-Minethlos » Tue Oct 26, 2004 3:14 pm

<p>Aghle: Yeah, she pretty much swooned as muxh as is humanely possible without remaining unconscious.<BR><BR>Maranwe-Ar-Feiniel: Thanks! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0><BR><BR>*Evenstar: She is rather...<img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0><BR><BR>Keeper: (I may call you that mayn't I?) - anyway, I submitted "Legolas Has an Appointment" quite a while ago; it ought to be up soon...<BR><BR>~Rana </p>
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awesome!

Postby Ireth_Earfalas » Thu Oct 28, 2004 8:48 pm

<p>this was great girls! keep up the good legolas...i mean work...wow that was lame...i also noticed that there are a few harpists in the midst...I'm one too actually...sweetness that there's a harp playing tolkine fans like myself....Anyways keep the stories comin! </p>
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lol

Postby sea_elf » Mon Nov 01, 2004 12:01 am

<p>Now are you sure it was just a sugar high?? J/k J/k. it really is funny. Get another one out, and I'll have to go check out these other Leggy stories sometime. </p>
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Oh, tra la la LALLEY, down here in the VALLEY...

Postby Rana-Minethlos » Tue Nov 02, 2004 12:22 pm

<p>Ireth Earfalas: Hallo! I'm glad you enjoyed it! LAnthiriel will be ecstatic to find out about another harpist. <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0><BR><BR>sea elf: *stares frigidly* My dear person, the only stimulus we need for such brilliance is sugar. Hmph. *snorts, turns off the glare* There may or may not a sequel. Ri and I will have to find out on the next vacation...<BR><BR>~Rana </p>
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HILLARIOUS!!!!!

Postby feaguire » Sun Nov 07, 2004 2:31 am

<p>that was VERY funny! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif"border=0><BR><BR>your a true genius at riting! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif"border=0> lol <BR><BR>i luv leggy too! (but if u replace all the legolases with merry i would be even more happy <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif"border=0> lol!)<BR><BR>good job! <img src="http://www.tolkienonline.com/mb/i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif"border=0><BR><BR><BR> </p>
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;P

Postby Luthriel_Greenleaf » Sun Nov 06, 2005 1:20 pm

<p>Rolles around laughing. I liked it. </p>
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