The Tale of Curulinde (silly version)

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The Tale of Curulinde (silly version)

Postby Old_Tom_Bombadil » Sun May 06, 2007 11:45 am

Foreword

Elves are long-lived. Indeed, they are virtually immortal unless they suffer a great accident, are slain in battle, or, in rare instances, die from grief. So how does one explain that an Elf, who may be thousands of years old, is still a lowly novice, i.e., level 1, at the time of the War of the Ring in TA 3018-3019? This proves to be a bit of a challenge in creating the back-story for an Elf, but, as you will see if you continue to read this post, not an insurmountable one.

The following is a bit of a tongue-in-cheek backstory for the Elven minstrel, Curulinde. It depicts Curulinde's transformation from a rather silly, if not outright foppish Elf into a grim, determined warrior.



The Tale of Curulinde


Curulinde Celeblammen ("Skilledsinger Silvervoice") came into this world late in the First Age of the Sun. A natural-born singer and storyteller, when Curulinde was young he would sing and dance at the slightest provocation, and often invented charming stories of birds and badgers and other creatures living by the rivers or in the forests.

Link: Song of the Badger


His parents (whose names are withheld to save them from further embarrassment) at first were very amused and thought it "cute" that their young son was so creative. However, they became concerned when their son's storytelling evolved into fantastic tales of goblins sneaking into their home to break a lamp before vanishing without a trace leaving Curulinde, or so he claimed, to take the blame. Still the exaggerated tales were fairly innocuous, and Curulinde seemed to have a happy and reasonably normal, if slightly dramatic, childhood.


Image

"A goblin did it"


Curulinde's family, a hard-working middle class clan living in the region south of the Gulf of Lune, owned and operated a successful textile business specializing in upholstery, and especially, window treatments. At last on the day that Curulinde came of age his father took him aside.

"Curulinde, my son," his father said, "one day soon your mother and I will be sailing West. On that day all of this will be yours." His father emphasized his point by sweeping his long arm across the showroom.


Image

The window treatment showroom


"What--the curtains?" replied Curulinde.

"No, not just the curtains, son, but our entire textile business!" his father replied.

"But I don't want any of that, I'd rather..." Curulinde complained.

"You'd rather what?" demanded his father.

"I'd rather sing!" he happily exclaimed.

It goes without saying that Curulinde's father was not pleased, not pleased at all. In fact, as a result of Curulinde's disinterest in the textile business, his father strongly encouraged him to find his own way in life while his younger brother inherited the family business.

Life was not easy for the newly emancipated Elf. At first Curulinde waited tables in some of Harlindon's finer eating establishments, obtaining the occasional gig here and there performing for weddings, harvest festivals, coming-of-age parties, and events of that sort.


Image

A map of Lindon


One day, however, Fate smiled upon Curulinde when he was hired to sing at the birthday party of Celebrían, the daughter of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel. His performance was so well-received that he became their house minstrel, so to speak, often performing for the Lady when she was sad and sought consolement, or was happy and wished to be accompanied as she played her harp and sang. There are still tales of the wondrous music they created together, the Lady's harp and Curulinde's soulful flute. (It is small wonder that these tales still exist, for it is Curulinde who persists in telling them.)


Image

Galadriel and her harp


Then one day Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel informed Curulinde that they were moving east to establish their own kingdom in a land beyond the Hithaeglir (or "Misty Mountains" as they are also called) lying between the Celebrant and the Anduin.

"That sounds exciting!" exclaimed Curulinde. "When do we leave?"

"We leave at week's end, my friend," answered the monotoned Elf-lord, "but you will not be going with us."

"I'm not?" asked Curulinde as he struggled to hide the disappointment in his voice. "Does this have anything to do with your cat? I can explain that. You see, there were these goblins..."

"No, dear Curulinde, it has nothing to do with poor Lossmiriel," answered the Lady. She gave a quizzical glance towards her husband, who continued to stare vacantly at a potted plant. "Your days will be most blessèd, gifted one," she said, "but, alas, they will not be with us."


Image

Lord Celeborn contemplates the process of photosynthesis in a common house plant


There is an Elven proverb that states when Ilúvatar closes a door, he opens a window somewhere else. Curulinde had always interpreted that to mean that the Children of Ilúvatar should strive to have plenty of fresh air. On this day, however, Curulinde thought that perhaps the All-Father had intended him to jump out of one.

"No, you silly goose," Curulinde told himself, "those are but the promptings of Morgoth! I think I finally know what that proverb means. It means that when Ilúvatar opens a window, it is the window of opportunity!"


Image

The Window of Opportunity


After a short time of waiting tables and performing other menial chores, Curulinde received his next big break when he auditioned for and was awarded the role of Munkustrap in a production of the musical Cats on Lindon's West End. Cats ran for many hundreds, even thousands of years, becoming the longest running musical in the history of Middle-earth.


Image

Munkustrap and the Jellicle Cats

Link: “Jellicle Songs For Jellicle Cats" from the musical Cats


Curulinde was not totally unfamiliar with warfare, however. Late in the 2nd Age he was hired to perform with a traveling company for the Elven Service Organization ( ESO) to entertain the armies during the war between the Last Alliance of Elves and Men and the forces of Sauron.


Image

Robert Estel, a comedian on the ESO tour


One winter while his troop was on hiatus during the solstice holiday Curulinde had traveled north to Edhelion in the Ered Luin to perform at an engagement party when the city fell under attack by an army of Goblins,Trolls, and Dourhand Dwarves. It was there that Talagan Silvertongue recruited Curulinde to serve in the armies of the Free Peoples of Middle-earth.

Curulinde was astonished when he received the invitation. "Me? Fight in a war?" he thought. "Isn't that--dangerous?"


Image

The thought of going to war alarms Curulinde


But as the city of Edhelion burned around him, the shrieks and cries of Elves and goblins killing and being killed filled his ears, and Haerandir, the Elf who had hired him, lay in a pool of blood at Curulinde's feet, something deep inside Curulinde moved.

Curulinde kneeled beside Haerandir's body, and said a quick prayer to Elbereth as he claimed the fallen Elf's dagger as his own.

"Yes, Master Silvertongue, I will serve."


Image

"I will serve"
Last edited by Old_Tom_Bombadil on Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:15 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Gandalf'sMother » Tue May 08, 2007 7:00 am

"But I don't want any of that, I'd rather..." Curulinde complained.

"You'd rather what?" demanded his father.

"I'd rather sing!" he happily exclaimed.


Stop that! Stop that!

Brilliant, Curulinde. Hilarious biography. One point of clarification, however. Were you actually in Cats?

-Mother Maia
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Postby Old_Tom_Bombadil » Tue May 08, 2007 8:16 am

Curulinde was indeed a member of Cats for thousands of years.

Old_Tom_Bombadil saw Cats once many years ago (less than a thousand, though), but has never performed in it. He has, however, performed in productions of Der Zigeuner Baron ("The Gypsy Baron") by Strauss, Roméo et Juliette by Gounod, Un Ballo in Maschera ("A Masked Ball") by Verdi, and Le Nozze di Figaro ("The Marriage of Figaro") by Mozart. (That's all that I can recall at the moment.)


Reasons for including Cats in Curulinde's biography:

(1) Catsis known for its long production runs, therefore it seemed as a natural, easy, and hopefully amusing way to explain what Curulinde was doing for thousands of years

(2) "Lindon's West End" is, of course, a play on London's West End. Cats debuted in the West End in 1981.
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Postby Gandalf'sMother » Tue May 08, 2007 9:10 am

On Cats,

I just wanted to make sure that you were not actually a party to that production, and that there was not some grain of truth in it. There are penalties for such offenses which in days past, I have been asked to enforce by certain higher powers that I will not name.

I caught the "Lindon's West End" play, and indeed am quite familiar with the place, as I schooled for a Masters in London for the years 2005 and 2006, Julian reckoning.

The translation "Marriage of Figaro," both in French and English, always bothered me a bit, I have to say. It should be "The Wedding of Figaro" as I believe Mozart intended, and as the proper translation should go, IMO.

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Postby Old_Tom_Bombadil » Tue May 08, 2007 2:52 pm

Nope, never been in Cats. I can't even sing one song from it. If you want to punish me, it'll have to be for being a pig farmer in The Gypsy Baron.

Gandalf'sMother wrote:The translation "Marriage of Figaro," both in French and English, always bothered me a bit, I have to say. It should be "The Wedding of Figaro" as I believe Mozart intended, and as the proper translation should go, IMO.

I would agree, except I don't think recall ever witnessing their wedding in Mozart's opera. Of course Figaro and Susanna aren't married, yet, either. (I could be mistaken. It's been awhile.)

I remember the women singing about wedding cake (Hochzeitkuchen) in Gypsy Baron, though.

Ja wir holen ihn herbei! -
Hochzeitskuchen
Bitte zu versuchen!
Kommt und schaut,
Hier die Braut! -
Hochzeitskuchen,Bitte zu versuchen -
Schmeckt gar fein,
Beisst hinein! -
Wenn die Jugend schliesst den Hochzeitsbund
Ist's des Lebens schönste Stund';
Geht man in die Eh' mit treuem Sinn,
Steckt viel Süssigkeit darin.
Hochzeitskuchen
Bitte zu versuchen -
Schmeckt gar fein,
Beisst hinein!
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Postby Old_Tom_Bombadil » Fri Jun 01, 2007 12:20 pm

Another tale from the quill of Curulinde Celeblammen:

Curulinde’s High School Years


When people learn that I am from Lindon and that I was born in the latter years of the First Age they often ask whether I knew Gil-galad, the last High King of the Noldor, hero of the Siege of Barad-dûr in the war of Last Alliance of Men and Elves against the Dark Lord of Mordor. I must now confess that, yes, I was acquainted with Gil-galad.

Believe it or not, Gil-galad and I both graduated from Lindon High School, although he was one class ahead of me. Of course when you are the son of a humble textile merchant you don’t exactly run in the same circles as one whose father is Fingon son of Fingolfin son of Finwë.

It probably won’t surprise you when I tell you that Gil-galad was a BEOC (Big Elf On Campus) at Lindon High. He was captain of the football team, star of the track team, student body president, homecoming king, and so on. Naturally, Gil attracted the attention of a great many Elf-maids who aspired to be his consort. It is odd that he never took a queen. But I digress…

It would probably surprise you even less to learn that Curulinde was not a star athlete. In fact, I wasn’t an athlete at all. It’s not that I was totally disinterested in athletics, I was. However, when I wanted to join the wrestling team I was turned away because there were no others to compete against in the ninety-nine pound weakling class. Thankfully, I’ve filled in a bit since then. (Really, I have!)

As some of you may have already guessed, I was something of a band geek in high school. I played in the marching band and wore a tall fuzzy hat and had a tabard draped over my uniform coat with a big ‘LHS’ embroidered on the front. I was also a drama student and, if I may be so bold to say, excelled on the debate team.

It was on the debate team that I became acquainted with Gil-galad son of Fingon, and we would often challenge one another to sharpen our skills. I would conjure up a flurry of words and phrases so persuasive that one might think that the stones themselves would weep. But alas, when Gil would step to the podium and flash his magnificent smile you knew that regardless of what he said that in the end he would be the victor of the debate.

Gil-galad had presence; charisma some call it. He was a natural born leader whom Elves would follow through plague and pestilence to the iron doors of the Black Tower itself. And so they did.

Gil-galad was an Elven-king
Of him the harper's sadly sing:
the last whose realm was fair and free
between the Mountains and the Sea.

His sword was long his lance was keen,
his shining helm afar was seen;
the countless stars of heaven's field
were mirrored in his silver shield.

But long ago he rode away,
and where he dwelleth none can say;
for into darkness fell his star
in Mordor where the shadows are.


Image

Gil-galad and his spear Aiglos
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Postby Old_Tom_Bombadil » Tue Sep 18, 2007 5:38 pm

Curulinde in Love, Part 1 of 4

Elves live for a very long time, virtually forever except for the reasons stated previously, yet they have relatively few children. There are a few exceptions, of course, for example Fëanor and his seven sons, but by-and-large the Eldar have very few children.

Most attribute this to the fact that Elves do not marry or procreate during times of war and, with the perpetual power struggle between Valar and Maiar and Elves and Men for control of Middle-earth and with Orcs and Goblins constantly on the prowl, Elves are very nearly always at war.

There has been much speculation about Elven courting rituals for the Eldar do not speak of such things, it being their nature to be discrete when it comes to their personal relationships. This speculation has led to several theories, particularly among Men who seem to be especially interested in the mating process.

Some have imagined that an Elf courts an Elf-maiden with songs of love on rides in the country.

Image

Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry
When I take you out in the surrey,
When I take you out in the surrey with the fringe on top…



While others imagine that Elves vie for their mates in ancient rituals where rival suitors fight to the death!

Image

Image


Some have even postulated that Elves find their mates on TV game shows.

Image


Which, if any, of these are true none will say.


But what about Curulinde? Has he ever been in love? Or least in like? My friends, you may have noticed that I am an Elf, and am therefore naturally very discrete about my personal relationships. However, since you’ve taken the trouble to read this nonsense I suppose you’re entitled to a few morsels of information.

Like many young males, Curulinde’s first crush was on one of his school teachers. Obviously, she was a much older woman (by at least a few thousand years) and therefore, alas, it was a love that could not be.

Image

Miss Canfield from the episode "Beaver's First Crush" on the popular TV sitcom Leave it to Beaver (1957-1963)

In high school Curulinde had a terrible crush on a lovely young Elf-maiden, the eldest daughter of an unusually large family comprised of a husband and wife and their six children, three boys and three girls. Of the girls it was sung, “All of them had hair of gold like their mother, the youngest one in curls.”

Image

Image

Alas, the eldest daughter preferred the company of another, while the middle-daughter with the extreme case of sibling rivalry sought Curulinde’s attention. This all too familiar scenario has been captured in the song “Ein Jüngling liebt ein Mädchen”” [YouTube link]
Translation:

A boy loves a girl,
who has chosen another;
the other loves another,
And has married this one.

The girl takes in anger
the first good-enough man
who came her way;
the boy is sick at that.

It's an old story,
but it always stays new;
and whoever it's just happened to,
it breaks their heart in two.
Last edited by Old_Tom_Bombadil on Sat Jun 12, 2010 12:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Old_Tom_Bombadil » Tue Sep 18, 2007 6:05 pm

Curulinde in Love, Part 2 of 4

As mentioned earlier, I served in the house of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel at the time they ruled in southern Lindon as vassals to Gil-Galad in the north. Of course when people learn that they want to know whether she is truly as fair as they say. My answer to that is, "No".

Hold a moment! Put away that bow, Master Elf! Pray take our hand from your axe-haft, Master Dwarf! Put down your pie, Master Hobbit! I beg you, please let me finish! No, Lady Galadriel is not as fair as they say: she is more fair by far!

Galadriel! Galadriel!
Clear is the water of your well;
White is the star in your white hand;
Unmarred, unstained is leaf and land
In Dwimordene, in Lórien
More fair than thoughts of Mortal Men.


The next question I'm inevitably asked is whether I fell under her spell. I must confess that I did, but she is wed to Lord Celeborn, and even were she not joined to another Lady Galadriel is far above the likes of me.

Galadriel is the daughter of Finarfin, whose father Finwë was King of the Noldor before he was murdered by Morgoth, and Ëarwen, whose father Olwë is lord of the Teleri at Alqualondë in the Blessed Realm, and she is sister to Finrod Felagund, the most honorable and noble Lord of Nargothrond before he perished in Sauron’s dungeon in Tol-in-Gaurhoth (“The Isle of Werewolves”) after he was captured while assisting Beren on his fateful quest to claim a Silmaril from Morgoth’s iron crown.

Lady Galadriel and I made beautiful music together--on harp and flute--but ours was a relationship of a Lady and her servant. (Please don't tell anyone, but I pilfered a few hairs from her comb. These I will always cherish in memory of her. Luckily she never discovered it!

Image

Oh wait, maybe that's the reason that I was not permitted to accompany her when she left Lindon. I always assumed that she was upset about her cat. :( )

Image

Galadriel, more fair than thoughts of Mortal Men
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Postby Old_Tom_Bombadil » Tue Sep 18, 2007 6:10 pm

Curulinde in Love, Part 3 of 4

Back by popular demand: "Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats" from the musical Cats

..Can you sing at the same time in more than one key?
Duets by Rossini and waltzes by Strauss?
And can you (as cats do) begin with a 'C'?
That always triumphantly brings down the house?
Jellicle Cats are queen of the nights
Singing at astronomical heights
Handling pieces from 'The Messiah'
Hallelujah, angelical choir…


As mentioned earlier, following his service to Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel Curulinde was employed for many, many years in the long-running musical Cats as Munkustrap. As is so often the case when performers are together for many long hours day-after-day, rehearsing and performing and performing and rehearsing, romances bloom among the cast and crew. And so it was for Curulinde and his first love, the Elf-maid cast in the role of Demeter.

Image

Demeter was a fine performer everyone thought. She had a pleasant voice, if not overly strong, but her dancing was beyond compare! Lithe she was, and as agile, nimble, elegant, and graceful as a cat--or in this case--an Elf. Demeter was beautiful and talented, and could easily have gotten by those attributes alone, but she took acting very seriously and studied for many long hours to improve her technique.

Like many fine performers that we know, Demeter was a method-actress. Occasionally, usually shortly after performing her grooming for a night on the town with Curulinde, Demeter would cough up an enormous hairball. Curulinde never knew quite to make of this, but gradually came to accept it as the price that one pays for one’s art.

In their off-hours Curulinde would often play his flute while Demeter danced. Those who saw them were reminded of Daeron--the minstrel and loremaster to King Thingol--and Lúthien Tinúviel, the King’s daugher:

The leaves were long, the grass was green,
The hemlock-umbels tall and fair,
And in the glade a light was seen
Of stars in shadws shimmering.
Lúthien was dancing there
To music of a pipe unseen,
And light of stars was in her hair,
And in her raiment glimmering.


Image

Lúthien by artist Alan Lee

Demeter was far more like Lúthien than Curulinde even imagined. One day she met a Man and ran off with him in search of precious gems in hopes that her father would allow them to marry. And, like Daeron, Curulinde wandered off in despair in search for his lost love.
Last edited by Old_Tom_Bombadil on Fri Nov 30, 2007 12:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby MorwenCelebrin » Wed Oct 17, 2007 11:04 am

Hee! I've come out of lurkdom just to tell you how much I enjoyed reading this. :)
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Postby Old_Tom_Bombadil » Wed Oct 17, 2007 1:23 pm

It's good to know there are others with weird/silly senses of humor! :P

I'm still working on the last episode, although it may get stretched out to two or more. And yes, there will be images to accompany the story. :)
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Postby MorwenCelebrin » Wed Oct 17, 2007 2:55 pm

I can't wait to read it/them. It's a pity you're on the US servers, it would be great to RP with this character! (Not that I can actually do anything on LOTRO at the moment anyway - am putting off proper membership until I've sorted out various pressing real-life committments and got the money for a subscription, hehe)

Also, have you seen the new Minstrel stuff? Cowbell and Moor Cowbell. Perfect. XD
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Postby Old_Tom_Bombadil » Wed Oct 17, 2007 5:12 pm

I think "moor cowbell" was a joke. (It's a play on the words "more cowbell" from a well-known sketch on Saturday Night Live featuring guest host Christopher Walken and cast member Will Ferrell.)

I have seen the cowbell as well as the bagpipes on Roheryn, the test server. When I tested them the animations were in but the sounds were not. However, last night when I logged on to view the Hobbit and Dwarf housing there was someone in the Eyes and Guard Tavern playing the bagpipes. At least I think it was the bagpipes. Either that or someone was killing the cat that resides in the tavern.
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Postby MorwenCelebrin » Thu Oct 18, 2007 1:42 am

I recognised the joke, but I thought it was a real humourously-named item rather than a passing joke in the announcement. Oh well. :(

Haha. Bagpipes are nigh on impossible to play well. If you're on Roheryn, does that mean you've tested the housing as well?
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Postby Old_Tom_Bombadil » Thu Oct 18, 2007 9:43 am

MorwenCelebrin wrote:If you're on Roheryn, does that mean you've tested the housing as well?

Yes, but we're derailing this thread. Please post any questions you have about housing in a new thread. Thanks! :)
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Postby Old_Tom_Bombadil » Thu Oct 18, 2007 10:57 am

Curulinde in Love, Part 3.5 of 4

Curulinde wandered far and wide in a fruitless search for his lost lady love until at last he fell exhausted into a stand of reeds along a stream lined with willow trees.

All through the wintertime he hid himself away
Ashamed to show his face, afraid of what others might say
All through the winter in his lonely clump of weeds
Till a flock of swans spied him there and very soon agreed
"You're a very fine swan indeed!"
"A swan? Me a swan? Ah, go on!"
And they said "Yes, you're a swan
Take a look at yourself in the lake and you'll see."
And he looked, and he saw, and he said,
"I am a swan! Wheeeeeeee!"


(Excerpt from "The Ugly Duckling", words & music by Frank Loesser, from the film Hans Christian Andersen)

Curulinde awoke in a dark room lying on a bed far too short for his long limbs. "My, what an unusual dream I had. I dreamt that I was a swan!", he said bemusedly. Then a perplexed look cameo over his face as he plucked a few stray feathers from his long dark hair.

Image
Goldilocks would undoubtedly have rejected this bed for being "too short"


He heard the voice of a woman echo in his mind: "Fear nothing! Have peace until the morning! Heed no nightly noises!"

"Where am I?" he asked the voice.

"You are in the house of Tom Bombadil. Nothing passes door and window here save moonlight and starlight and wind off the hill-top," the voice replied.

"Tom Bombadli? Who is he?" queried Linde.

"He is the Master of wood, water, and hill," the voice responded.


Image
Tom Bombadil, a mystery shrouded by an enigma


"And who are you?"

"I am Goldberry, daughter of the River," replied the voice.


Image
The fair River-daughter, only slightly less enigmatic than her husband


Curulinde laughed nervously as he glanced about the darkened room. "Okay, where am I really? Am I on Candid Camera?"

"You will know all in the morning. Rest now, dear Elf," the voice said reassuringly.

In the morning after he rose and tidied himself up a bit Linde was served a hearty breakfast of honeycomb, yellow cream, white bread and butter. (Bombadil reportedly subsisted on little else, although he was known to occasionally serve green herbs and ripe berries at his table on special occasions.) Not long after breakfast Old Tom began busying himself in preparation for a trip to Bamfurlong to visit his Hobbit friend Farmer Maggot. In Tom's case "busying himself" meant clapping on his battered hat and bright yellow boots.

Linde had some misgivings about the viability of Old Tom's leaky rowboat, but despite the perils of wrens, kingsfishers, otters, swans and other creatures living on the Withywindle they arrived safe and relatively dry in the Marish just as the sun began to set.

The Maggots served a merry feast that evening accompanied by drinking and dancing. Old Tom seemed to enjoy himself greatly, capering about oddly when he was not busy quaffing Maggot's homebrewed ale. Curulinde provided much of the music on instruments borrowed from the farmers.


Image
Old Tom likes to boogie, especially after he's had a few tankards of ale


After all had gone to their bed Bombadil, Maggot, and Curulinde stayed up into the wee hours of the morning discussing the weather and such. After Maggot had finally gone to his bed, Tom bid farewell and disappeared into the morning fog. Not knowing where else to go, Linde decided to return to Lindon and so he headed west.
Last edited by Old_Tom_Bombadil on Fri Nov 30, 2007 12:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Old_Tom_Bombadil » Fri Oct 19, 2007 10:01 am

Curulinde in Love, Part 3.75 of 4


Curulinde had not traveled far before he came upon the (not quite) Abandoned (yet) Elf Camp near the village of Woodhall. As the sun began to set he was joined by a company of Noldor led by Gildor Inglorien.


Image
See? It's not abandoned after all!


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Gildor Inglorien, son of the ill-fated Finrod Felagund


The Elves shared food and song and tales, and discussed whether the price of their stocks would increase if Sauron were defeated once and for all. The Noldor marveled at Curulinde's fine tenor voice, declaring that his skill and talent rivaled that of Maglor. Although he knew that the Noldor meant it as a compliment, Curulinde could not help but bristle slightly at the mention of the kinslaying son of Fëanor.

One member of the company, the Elf-maiden Culúrien, took special notice of Linde’s talents. She gazed shyly in admiration at the minstrel's radiant face as he stood by the glowing campfire singing of Elbereth and of the legends of old.

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The fair Culúrien, granddaughter of the ill-fated Finrod Felagund

At Culúrien's suggestion Gildor invited Curulinde to accompany their party as they traveled through the Shire. It was not long before a romance kindled between Linde and Gildor's golden-haired daughter. Their romance eventually led to talk of marriage. Although Gildor was fond of Curulinde, he was not so fond that he was ready to accept him as his son-in-law. An inquisition, er, rather an inquiry of the prospective groom was quickly convened.

"Why do you want to marry my daughter?" Gildor asked.

"Well, she's beautiful, and she has..." Curulinde stammered.

"Huge tracts of land?" Gildor queried suspiciously.

Greatly perplexed Curulinde replied, "I don't know, does she?"

"No, we live in a bloody swamp!" retorted Gildor.


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After the first two attempts at construction burned down and
sank into the swamp, the refuge of Lin Giliath proudly stands
among the bog guardians that defend it



A look of supreme peace and contentment came over Linde's face as he replied, "Lady Goldberry told me that I would meet an Elf-maid in a secluded glen under the stars, and that one day we would be married. She said I would know her when I saw the starlight reflected in her golden hair."

"Is that so?" fumed Gildor, "and what if she'd lobbed a scimitar at you and proclaimed you emperor?"

"I suppose we'd have two guys following us banging cocoanut shells together as we looked for a shrubbery," said a grinning Curulinde.


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Curulinde Celeblammen, future grandson-in-law of the ill-fated Finrod Felagund
Last edited by Old_Tom_Bombadil on Fri Nov 30, 2007 1:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Old_Tom_Bombadil » Fri Oct 19, 2007 10:45 am

Curulinde in Love, Part 3.8694781312 of 4


Determined to disrupt the plans of his daughter and her minstrel sweetheart, Gildor called a counsel of Elves, Men, and Dwarves in an effort to thwart the impending nuptials of Culúrien and the wayward Teleri.


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The Council of Gildor


"I won't have my only daughter marrying a wandering minstrel!" declared Gildor. " Haven't her mother and I warned her about musicians? What sort of life would she have subsisting on handouts from strangers? And have you taken a good look at him? He's no more than skin and bones."

"Skin and bones? The same observation could be made about all Elves!" laughed the Dwarf.

"I could take him on as one of my company of Rangers," added the scruffy Ranger captain.

"No offense, but she'd be more secure as the wife of a minstrel," Gildor replied condescendingly.

"No offense taken," the Ranger lied.

The only female member of the council attempted to console the distraught Elf. "But she loves him, Gildor. Have you seen the look in her eyes? Yes, yes, I know that he is no Noldor, but was not your father's mother one of the Teleri, and did not your father's sister marry one of the Sindar?"

"Yes, that's true," Gildor replied, "but my grandmother was Eärwen, daughter of Olwë the lord of Alqualondë, and Auntie Galadriel married Celeborn of the noble house of Elwë. Curulinde is only the son of merchants."

"So you don't want your daughter to marry Curulinde because he is commoner? Bah!" scoffed the apparently nameless Ranger.

"Hey, I'm sorry about the comment about the insecurity of the life of a Ranger, okay?" replied the Elf-lord insincerely. ("Geez, get over it already," he added under his breath, "you might be little less cranky if you bathed more often than once a decade.")

"I heard that!" interjected the odiferous Ranger, "and talk about cranky..."

"Calm yourself, laddie," said the Dwarf, also nameless, to the Ranger. "You'd be upset, too, if your only daughter were about to marry a shiftless, no-account minstrel without a copper to his name." The Dwarf cackled gleefully, relishing the opportunity to rub salt in the wounds of the haughty Elf.

Cut to the quick, tears began to well up in the Elf-lord's eyes. Taking pity on him, the (nameless) woman put her arms around Gildor to console him while casting a menacing glare at the Dwarf.

After he settled down a little Gildor said between sobs, "Do you know he wants to sing at his own wedding? Who does that?"

"Elves?" interjected the Dwarf.

Gildor continued, "And do you know what he wants to sing? 'We've Only Just Begun'. No one has sung that at a wedding for over 30 years! Where did I go wrong?!" the Elf-lord bawled.
Last edited by Old_Tom_Bombadil on Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:41 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Old_Tom_Bombadil » Fri Oct 19, 2007 1:49 pm

The Fourth and Final Part of 'Curulinde in Love'


Despite Gildor's reservations his daughter did marry Curulinde the minstrel of Lindon, and the couple lived in bliss for many years. They set up house in Mithlond, far from the boggy Meluinen and Linde's disapproving father-in-law. In time Gildor grew to accept Culúrien's choice for a husband, and was especially happy when the couple provided him with two beautiful grandchildren, a dark-haired son and a golden-haired daughter, the very images of their doting parents.

Alas this time of bliss was not never-ending. There was rumor that the Witchking of Angmar, once thought defeated, had arisen once more. The Witchking, or a perhaps a servant of his who had taken residence in Carn Dûm, sent armies of orcs, trolls, and Dourhand Dwarves against the Elves living in the Ered Luin. Curulinde himself was trapped in Edhelion when it came under attack, and was saved only when Elrond Half-elven arrived with his sons Elrohir and Elladan in time to turn the tide.

If the Witchking had arisen could the return of his master, the Dark Lord Sauron, be far behind? Neither the Elves nor their former allies in Gondor possessed the strength to defeat the armies of a rejuvenated Mordor.

Under such dire circumstances Curulinde thought it wise that Culúrien take their children into the West. Gildor also encouraged this course of action. With the promise that he would join them when his duty to the Free Peoples had been fulfilled, Curulinde tearfully watched as the White Ship bound for Avallónë passed through the mists.


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Postby Old_Tom_Bombadil » Thu Dec 27, 2007 12:54 pm

A song from the quill of Curulinde Celeblammen:

The Drunken Spider

Elf went alone to a cave of stone,
And stood and stared at an ancient bone;
For many a year it had lain there,
What it was he did not know.
Did so! Don't know!
He stood and stared at an ancient bone,
What it was he did not know.

Up came spider reeking of cider.
Said Elf to he: "What lied there?"
"It looks like the Dwarf I et last week,
As should be a-lyin' in me den.
Hee then! See then!
Looks like the Dwarf I et last week,
As should be lyin' in me den."

"What say you? That can't be true.
You've drunk more cider than is good for you!
You're so drunk you know not squirrel from skunk,
I suggest that you drink less.
Think less! Stink less!
Hard drink is not good for you,
So I suggest that you drink less."

"Dear Elf," said spider, "I likes me cider,
"I'll drink all I please! he cried there,
"If you don't go you soon shall know
Why the Dwarf he done got et.
Forget! Baguette!
"If you dont leave now," said spider,
"You'll know why the Dwarf done got et."

"This I know that the Dwarf was slow,
If he was no faster than you go.
But don't have a cow I'll leave now,
I don't want to provoke thee.
Poke thee! Soak thee!
Don't show me out I'll leave and go,
I don't want to provoke thee."

The Elf he ran as fast as he can,
He left the cave as the spider span
A silken thread as the Elf he fled
As fast as an Elf could run.
Would run! Should run!
As the spider span the Elf he ran
As fast as an Elf could run.

The moral of the story: seek not glory,
Tangling with spiders can be gory.
If your bones you crave and hide you'd save
I suggest you flee from danger
Ranger! Stranger!
Don't be like a Dwarf seeking glory,
I suggest you flee from danger.
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Re: The Tale of Curulinde (silly version)

Postby Guybrush » Sat May 20, 2017 3:14 am

Hi, What they did? Did they buy new bed and quilt covers for Goldilocks? BTW here in Australia the size of the bed is not too long and its hard to find!
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