FAREWELL PARTY FOR BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM: Biffbo's Speech

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FAREWELL PARTY FOR BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM: Biffbo's Speech

Postby Rorgloin » Sun Aug 07, 2011 10:54 am

It was announced throughout the Shire to the surprise of all that Biffbo Proudbottom, the eccentric Chief of the Servants of the Secret Fire and Prophet of the Pancake, was preparing to leave on a long adventure and was having a large party in Folkhop. Hobbits from all around showed up to attend the party(And even a dwarf or two). The Servants assembled, Biffbo became very setimental and decided to give a speech.

The Servants assemble and Rorgloin, Head of the Party Planning Society of the Flame Imperishable, speaks with Master Keptwise, thanking him for bringing the Eriador Music Society to provide music for the evening's festivities.
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Biffbo Proudbottom gives his speech.

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Yes, at the climax of his speech, Biffbo Proudbottom the Magnificent, Chief of the Servants of the Secret Fire, stepped backwards and vanished in front of the assembled Servants. Rorgloin ordered the Servants to search everywhere, and search everywhere they did! (In actuality, they looked under a few chairs and behind the stage before deciding they were too tired to go searching for their vanished leader and returned to the stage to listen to music.) But, alas, their search was fruitless! And it was in this fashion that Biffbo Proudbottom was taken away to far off lands in the service of Eru and the Pancake.
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Postby kilderkin » Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:08 am

If that disappearance was supposed to be some sort of joke, it was in very poor taste. It took me three or four ales to calm down after that "trick".
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Transcript (more or less)

Postby Slim of Breeland » Sun Aug 07, 2011 1:49 pm

### Chat Log: General 08/06 09:08 PM ###
Boffo says, 'My dear Athelianses and Tules!'
Oafus cheers at Boffo.
Gaspara sits with Grummli.
Winterblues sits down.
Boffo says, 'My dear Pareths and Imperiuses, Pachacamacs, Emondirs, Endroses, and Rorgloins, and Dwins, and Leafblowers, Uncturs and Folgers, Slims, Bennbos, Good-for-nothing-bodies, Brockhouses and Humblefoots.'
Grummli says, 'Speech!'
Aerowynne sits with Oafus.
[Kinship] Nogg: ok....should we start with offensive gestures toward one another?
Boffo says, 'Let me say that again'
Unctur cheers at Boffo.
Grummli sits down.
Boffo says, 'My dear Pareths and Imperiuses, Pachacamacs, Emondirs, Endroses, and Rorgloins, and Dwins, and Leafblowers, Uncturs and Folgers, Slims, Bennbos, Good-for-nothing-bodies, Brockhouses and Humblefoots.'
Tule says, 'Humblefeet!'
Unctur sits down.
Endros says, 'he mentioned me!'
Grummli sits down.
You say, 'Impressive'
Randolfr sits down.
Boffo says, 'Humblefoots!'
Gaspara says, 'i resemble that remark'
Grummli grumbles at the chair
Boffo says, 'Also my good Hackville-Hooliganses that I welcome back to the House of the Servants, even though you do not exist and are not in the kinship.'
Grummli sits down.
Oafus sits with Boffo.
Aerowynne sits with Oafus.
Gallagade sits down.
Winterblues giggles uncontrollably at Grummli.
Boffo says, 'Today Athelian is deposing ... '
Aerowynne sits with Oafus.
Grummli sits down.
Boffo says, 'I mean, today is the anniversary of the time I once saw a descendant of Bandobras "Bullroarer" Took from across the room at a party I was not invited to!'
Winterblues sits with Boffo.
You say, 'reposing?'
[Kinship] Nogg: i keep trying /throw chair....not getting anywhere with it...
[Kinship] Pachacamac: its traditino
Aerowynne sits with Oafus.
Boffo says, 'You're supposed to cheer and such!'
You say, 'Wow!'
Grummli dips Tule's ponytails in his inkwell
You cheer at Boffo.
Tule cheers.
Aerowynne sits with Oafus.
Stonnell cheers at Boffo.
Gaspara claps her hands.
Pareth waves to Oafus.
Boffo says, 'Hooray indeed!'
Pareth waves to Aerowynne.
Boffo says, 'I hope you are all enjoying yourselves as much as I am, and I hope there is enough marmite, toast and pancakes to go around.'
Stonnell sits down.
Aerowynne sits with Oafus.
Unctur says, 'huzzah!'
Nogg blows bubble gum bubbles.
You sit with Boffo.
Stonnell claps his hands.
Aerowynne sits with Oafus.
Boffo says, 'Ok, lots of cheering now!'
Athelian sits with Boffo.
[Kinship] Oafus: lovely dress, pareth!
Rorgloin says, 'Praise Proudbottom!'
Anersil cheers at Slim.
Gaspara claps for Slim.
Stonnell sits down.
Vipthon cheers at Boffo.
Boffo says, '*Blows horn loudly*'
Anersil sits with Slim.
Thearo chuckles at Denruth.
Grummli cheers.
You cheer at Boffo.
Gallagade hides his chocolate lava cake.
Vipthon claps for Boffo.
Athelian sits down.
[Kinship] Pareth: thank you very much
Oafus cheers at Pareth.
Endros says, 'The marmite has gone bad'
Bennbo sits with Athelian.
Gaspara holds her ears
Unctur cheers at Boffo.
You say, 'Marmite can go bad?'
Anersil sits down.
Boffo says, 'I shall not keep you long!'
Tule says, 'How can you tell if it's bad?'
Grummli sits down.
Anersil sits down.
Slim cheers more loudly.
Boffo says, 'I have called you all together for a Purpose.'
[Kinship] Oafus: SHHHH... ithink he's talking
Gallagade sits down.
You say, 'A Porpoise! At last.'
Stonnell sits with Tule.
[Kinship] Rorgloin: NOTE: Save some fireroks for after dark
Tule says, 'how can you tell?'
Vipthon sits down.
Endros says, 'purpose means work... ugh'
Anersil sits down.
[Kinship] Nogg: BOFFO! get on the radio and tell the helicopter to GO AWAY!
Boffo says, 'Not for one purpose, nor for two purposes. But for THREE purposes.'
Winterblues sits with Boffo.
Thearo makes whooshing and whistling noises.
You sit with Boffo.
Endros says, 'triple ugh....'
Boffo says, 'Certainly not FOUR purposes'
Slim settles down
Tule says, 'purpi?'
[Kinship] Oafus: do i need to write this down?
Gaspara was hoping for 5
Grummli says, 'Where are the dancing hobbitesses?'
Boffo says, 'Though there are two purposes, there is also a third'
Grummli sits down.
[Kinship] Endros: certainly not
[Kinship] Nogg: ...copious notes...
Boffo says, 'Ahem'
Aerowynne sits with Rorgloin.
[To Kinship] Do you want to remember it?
Unctur looks confused.
Boffo says, 'First of all, to tell you that I am immensely fond of you all, and that four and a half years is too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits, elves, dwarves, men, women, and um, that guy in the corner.'
[Kinship] Winterblues: cryptic entries
Tule says, 'This is like the last party was, just before the bounders chased us off.'
[Shire-Moot] Caelee: 'oh oh oh ... my chicken went all the way to Rivendell!!'
Gaspara laughs out loud.
[To Kinship] I got logging on.
Oafus sits down.
Boffo says, 'Who is that guy, anyway?'
Stonnell laughs out loud.
Stonnell sits down.
Tule says, 'That's your statue!'
Gaspara points at Grummli.
Pareth says, 'who knows?'
Boffo says, 'Oh my, there are hundreds of them!'
Oafus sits down.
[Kinship] Nogg: nope. i've saved a hunk of barrow brie for this. i won't remember anything except being slightly ill,,,
Endros says, 'thats Scruffy, he's cool'
Boffo points something out.
Pareth says, 'lol'
Boffo says, 'In any event, it has not been long enough!'
Slim is touched.
Tule sits down.
[Kinship] Oafus: down in front!
Aerowynne sits down.
Pareth salutes Boffo.
Unctur sits down.
Boffo says, 'I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve, and I dislike more than half of you half as well as you don't deserve, and I love you all more than half of the time,'
Grummli falls asleep with all the excitement
Boffo says, 'but more than one-third as often as you should like.'
Your friend, Algrogo, has come online.
Rorgloin by a chair
Gaspara chuckles.
[Kinship] Nogg: welll....as usual...he seems to have fallen asleep at his keyboard...
Tule counts up thirds on her fingers.
Pareth says, 'say that 3 times'
Unctur counts on his fingers.
Boffo says, 'You should gruble about that!'
Gaspara counts on toes
Endros says, 'Math??? ugh....'
[Kinship] Anersil: Maybe the government took him!
Grummli picks his toes
Boffo says, '*grumble'
Gaspara says, 'eeewwww'
Boffo says, 'I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve, and I dislike more than half of you half as well as you don't deserve, and I love you all more than half of the time,'
Aerowynne sits with Rorgloin.
Vipthon looks confused.
You say, '<grumble grumble grumble mutiny>'
[Kinship] Nogg: they've been watching us, you know...
Boffo says, ', but more than one-third as often as you should like.'
Vipthon sits down.
Gaspara says, 'deja vu'
Tule says, 'And we only half love you too!'
Tule sits with Boffo.
Grummli says, 'Music! Speechifying! Entertainment!'
Boffo says, 'Secondly, to celebrate my new hairdo! Isn't it nice?'
Endros says, 'Well done!'
[Kinship] Winterblues: ~ looks around apprehensively
Grummli sits down.
Stonnell cheers at Boffo.
Pareth says, 'whew..he's good'
Gaspara claps her hands.
[Kinship] Oafus: gotta give him that....
You say, 'spellbinding'
Stonnell sits with Boffo.
Boffo says, 'And none of you noticed!'
Tule says, 'I always love a good plot twist in his speeches'
[Kinship] Oafus: it is a snazzy hairdo
Vipthon gives Boffo a polite cough.
Boffo says, 'Together we score--let me see--one, two, three--..four--seven hundred and twenty six. Your numbers were chosen to fit this remarkable total: The number of times I have heroically fled from marginally dangerous situations.'
Gaspara shouts You're hat's on
Vipthon sits down.
[Kinship] Nogg: it says something about the quality of company boffo keeps that he's been told to erase us, lol!
[Kinship] Athelian: hahaa
Thearo chuckles at Boffo.
Grummli hopes Boffo slips on his ring and disappers quickly
Boffo says, 'It is also, if I may be allowed to refer to ancient history, the anniversary of the time I ate a hilariously large sandwich while fending off attack from an alarmingly massive field mouse, who threatened to nibble by bottom and chew my legs off.'
[Kinship] Nogg: you, especially, dear
[To Kinship] yes, the government isn't Entirely clueless
Pareth says, 'that many? so brave...hobbits are really remarkable creatures, aren't they?'
[Kinship] Athelian: GASP!
[Kinship] Athelian: *glares*
Boffo says, 'I bet you'd like to hear that story again!'
Boffo says, 'It is also, if I may be allowed to refer to ancient history, the anniversary of the time I ate a hilariously large sandwich while fending off attack from an alarmingly massive field mouse, who threatened to nibble by bottom and chew my legs off.'
[Kinship] Nogg: snork!snork!
[Kinship] Winterblues: ~ looks uncomfortable
Tule snorks.
Gaspara says, 'says oh no Grummli - that would encourage those sackville baggins'
You sit.
[Kinship] Anersil: Hurry, the band is getting antsy. lol
Unctur giggles uncontrollably.
Thearo says, 'That happened to me a day or so ago. Such a coincidence!'
Boffo says, 'I was only a spring chicken then, and rather careless and a bit, let's say, braver than I am today. My foes were easily dispensed with. I remember I was still eating that sandwich, and I said to the field mouse as he scurried back to the depths form whence'
Boffo says, 'he came'
Gaspara lets out a big yawn.
[Kinship] Nogg: poor duffers aren't on kin chat....probably looks like we
Boffo says, '"thang you bery mush." I now repeat it more correctly: Thank you very much for coming to my little party.'
Pareth says, 'lol...what did you say?'
[Kinship] Nogg: are just sitting here!
Gaspara claps her hands.
Winterblues laughs out loud at Boffo.
[Kinship] Athelian: use say
Vipthon claps for Boffo.
Thearo cheers at Boffo.
Pareth claps her hands.
Keptwise claps for Boffo.
Boffo says, 'Let me repeat that last bit!'
Nogg sits down.
Keptwise cheers at Boffo.
[Kinship] Grummli: Kinchat? What
Stonnell claps for Boffo.
Gaspara shouts Will there be food now?
Vipthon sits down.
Ellenwood cheers at Boffo.
[Kinship] Oafus: SHHH...I think he's talking
Tule says, 'no need, we won't understand it twice.'
Pareth cheers at Boffo.
[Kinship] Grummli: Aarrrgh!
Stonnell sits with Boffo.
Boffo says, 'I was only a spring chicken then, and rather careless and a bit, let's say, braver than I am today.'
Rorgloin coughs politely. Ahem!
[Kinship] Grummli: We have non-kin visitors
Gaspara faints dead away.
Boffo says, 'My foes were easily dispensed with. I remember I was still eating that sandwich, and I said to the field mouse as he scurried back to the depths form whence he came: "thang you bery mush".'
Randolfr sits with Anersil.
Rorgloin says, 'Honourable Proudbottom!'
[Kinship] Oafus: I beleive he said we'd be having chicken
Boffo says, 'I now repeat it more correctly: Thank you very much for coming to my little party.'
You give Boffo a quick salute.
Unctur cheers at Boffo.
Tule says, 'Is it time for chicken you say?'
Boffo says, 'Thirdly and finally, I wish to make an ANNOUNCEMENT.'
[Kinship] Nogg: i think he said, "i like none of you as much as you think you deserve"!
Oafus cheers.
Gaspara is dying of hunger
Endros says, 'GASP'
Rica sits down.
Boffo says, 'Yes, an ANNOUNCEMENT'
Tule glances at Boffo and swoons.
You say, 'No!'
Pareth says, 'yikes'
Thearo cowers in fear before Boffo!
Winterblues mourns the fate of Boffo.
[Kinship] Grummli: (I am really lot here. Are we really on kinchat?)
Unctur looks absolutely and completely surprised.
[Kinship] Grummli: (lost)
Your friend, Algrogo, has gone offline.
[Kinship] Rorgloin: ((Boffo is giving a speech in say chat!))
[Kinship] Tule: no, use /say
Boffo says, 'The uppercase letters mean its important'
[Kinship] Anersil: I can't hear him
Tule sits with Boffo.
You say, 'I thought your eyesight was bad'
[Kinship] Tule: check your chat filters
Boffo says, 'Wait a moment'
[Kinship] Grummli: ((I cannot see it. People are responding, but I see no chat))
Oafus says, 'speak up!'
Athelian sits down.
[Kinship] Boffo: Has everyone in the kinship been able to see teh speech?
[Kinship] Unctur: you are probably too far from Boffo))
Nogg sits down.
[Kinship] Anersil: No :( was it on RP channel?
[Kinship] Vipthon: I can see it
[Kinship] Endros: I have! Riveting!
[Kinship] Pareth: yes
[Kinship] Boffo: I regret to announce that - though, as I said, four and a half years is far too short a time to spend among you - this is the END.
[Kinship] Endros: Truly spellbinding
Boffo says, 'I regret to announce that - though, as I said, four and a half years is far too short a time to spend among you - this is the END.'
[Kinship] Anersil: snap, I had that filtered out, fixed now
You say, 'NOoooo!'
[Kinship] Grummli: Oh well
Rorgloin gasps.
Grummli sits down.
Boffo says, 'Yes!'
Falibrand claps for Boffo.
You say, 'Maybe?'
Gaspara starts crying.
[Kinship] Grummli: I hope someone posts it
Keptwise claps for Boffo.
Winterblues sits with Anersil.
Boffo says, 'Certainly!'
Keptwise claps for Boffo.
[Kinship] Athelian: i can see everyone's say but boffo's. very odd
Pareth says, 'the end /cry'
Boffo says, 'I am being forced against my wi.... Ow!'
Randolfr drinks to Boffo's health.
Ellenwood cheers.
Pareth starts crying.
[Kinship] Oafus: he's giving out transcripts
Thearo drinks to Boffo's health.
Gaspara starts crying.
Boffo says, 'I mean, I am going. I am leaving NOW. GOOD'
Tule says, 'Which end?'
Gallagade starts to hypernetalate.
Boffo says, 'GOOD-BYE!'
Unctur is sad.
You say, 'Goodbye :('
Tule starts crying.
Pareth starts crying.
Gaspara and with no food /cry
Stonnell waves goodbye to Boffo.
Rorgloin starts crying.
You begin to cry.
[Trade] Rica: 'Selling Ale and Pipe-weed for a copper per pint and pouch, respectively, notify me with interest preferably with as little disturbance for the proceedings as possible.'
Endros starts crying.
Winterblues starts crying.
[Kinship] Anersil: We should use it in say because RP is regional I believe, lol
[Kinship] Grummli: It's like listening to one half of a phone converstation
[Kinship] Oafus: wait! he owes me money!
Grummli sniffles
Endros falls into mourning.
Boffo has gone offline.
Gallagade says, 'emote ((starts hyper ventalating*))'
You say, 'What shall we do when you are gone?'
Unctur faints dead away.
Rorgloin says, 'Where did he go!?'
Tule says, 'Where is he?'
Oafus faints dead away.
Winterblues gives Anersil a hard stare down.
Gaspara faints dead away.
Rorgloin says, 'What happened?!'
Boffo has been expelled from your kinship by Athelian.
Grummli says, '<gasp>'
You say, 'Boffo?'
Thearo looks confused.
Rorgloin says, 'Bofof!?'
Gaspara says, 'this heat'
Vipthon glances around worridly at the fainting people.
[Kinship] Endros: oh my...
Rorgloin says, 'Boffo?!!??'
Gaspara says, 'and no food'
Tule says, '(desperate flight, we scared him)'
Rorgloin says, 'Look for him! Where did he go!?'
Falibrand says, 'He Mad Bagginsed!'
You faint dead away.
Bennbo says, 'Bofof is gone!'
Grummli says, 'Ridiculous! Absurd!'
Randolfr says, 'He disappeared!'
Pareth faints dead away.
Tule pokes around.
Athelian looks around.
Grummli says, 'It's that meddling Gandalf!'
Winterblues says, 'He disappeared !'
Tule looks confused.
You say, 'A Boffo hunt!'
Randolfr says, 'Much like the rumour of how Mr. Baggins disappeared.'
You say, 'But ... Who shall lead us?'
Rorgloin says, 'Err. . . .'
Randolfr says, 'How curious'
Rorgloin says, 'Well. . . .'
Tule says, 'I thought he was going to give us his stuff?'
Gaspara says, 'that no good.... no snacks at all'
[Kinship] Nogg: well. that's that, then. i'm for a beer!
Gallagade says, 'This marks the end of the world as foretold by a pile of spilt milk!'
You say, 'and no beer!'
Rorgloin says, 'We have paid for a party and confound it we are going to have a party!'
Winterblues wails loudly
Unctur begins to smoke.
Oafus says, 'well this is awkward...and we've got all that food'
Pareth says, 'let's party!'
Grummli says, 'He's off on one of his absurd adventures again. He will be insufferable when he gets back'
Athelian says, 'then let's party!!'
Gaspara says, 'food? Where'
Tule says, 'Bring out the band!'
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Postby Pareth » Sun Aug 07, 2011 3:32 pm

long live Boffo! It was certainly a night to remember!
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Postby Athelian » Sun Aug 07, 2011 10:52 pm

Rorgloin, would you post the full text of Boffo's farewell speech? It's hard to read in the screenshots. It would be nice to have it all in one place.
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Postby Redstonne » Mon Aug 08, 2011 5:48 pm

My loss that I missed it. I was unavoidably detained elsewhere.
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