THE DEPARTURE OF BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM AND ATHELIAN's ASCENSION

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THE DEPARTURE OF BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM AND ATHELIAN's ASCENSION

Postby Rorgloin » Thu Aug 11, 2011 6:00 pm

And so BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did see the Servants, and seeing them he did go up onto a stage and, hearing cries for a speech, opened his mouth saying, My dear The Lady Athelianses and Tules! My dear The Lady Pareth of Gondors and Imperiuses, Pachacamacs, Emondirs, Endroses, and Rorgloins, and Dwins, and Leafblowers, Uncturs and Folgers, Slims, Bennbos, Good-for-nothing-bodies, Brockhouses and Humblefoots.And there was much cheering. So BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM then said unto the assembled Servants, Let me say that again: My dear The Lady Pareth of Gondors and Imperiuses, Pachacamacs, Emondirs, Endroses, and Rorgloins, and Dwins, and Leafblowers, Uncturs and Folgers, Slims, Bennbos, Good-for-nothing-bodies, Brockhouses and Humblefoots. And Tule, a hobbit, did shout, Humblefeet!
And Endros, an elf, did say, he mentioned me!
And BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say, Humblefoots! And Grummli did grumble as all grumbles do grumbleth.
And BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, Also my good Hackville-Hooliganses that I welcome back to the House of the Servants, even though you do not exist and are not in the kinship.
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, Today The Lady Athelian is deposing ...
I mean, today is the anniversary of the time I once saw a descendant of Bandobras "Bullroarer" Took from across the room at a party I was not invited to!
Slim did say, reposing?
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, You're supposed to cheer and such! Grummli dips Tule s ponytails in his inkwell
And there was much cheering and making of thunder from hands from the Servants,
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, Hooray indeed! I hope you are all enjoying yourselves as much as I am, and I hope there is enough marmite, toast and pancakes to go around. Ok, lots of cheering now! Unctur did say, huzzah!
Rorgloin did say, Praise Proudbottom!
And there was much praising of Proudbottom.
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did blow his horn loudly.
And Gallagade, unrepentant, did hide his chocolate lava cake.

BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, I shall not keep you long! Slim did cheer more loudly.
I have called you all together for a Purpose.
Slim did say, A Porpoise! At last.

BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, Not for one purpose, nor for two purposes. But for THREE purposes. Thearo, one not of the Pancake, did make whooshing and whistling noises.
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, Certainly not FOUR purposes
Slim did settle down
Gaspara did hope for five.
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, Though there are two purposes, there is also a third
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the confused Servants, Ahem
Unctur did look confused.
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, First of all, to tell you that I am immensely fond of you all, and that four and a half years is too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits, elves, dwarves, men, women, and um, that guy in the corner. Who is that guy, anyway?
Oh my, there are hundreds of them!
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did point at the scruffy man in the corner.
The Lady Pareth of Gondor did say, lol
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, In any event, it has not been long enough!
Slim, the Man, was touched at the heart by the glory of this remark.
The Lady Pareth of Gondor did salute BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM.
And BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve, and I dislike more than half of you half as well as you don't deserve, and I love you all more than half of the time, but more than one-third as often as you should like.
And Grummli did fall asleep with all the excitement and there was much grumbling..
Tule did count up thirds on her fingers.
Unctur did count on his fingers.
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, You should grumble about that!
Gaspara counts on toes
Endros did say, Math??? ugh....
Grummli did pick his toes
And again did BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve, and I dislike more than half of you half as well as you don t deserve, and I love you all more than half of the time, but more than one-third as often as you should like. And Vipthon did look confused.
Slim, he did grumble of mutiny against the Pancake. For this he would pay at the Isen.
Tule did say, And we only half love you too!, for Tule did love him most of all.
Grummli did say, Music! Speechifying! Entertainment!
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, Secondly, to celebrate my new hairdo! Isn't it nice?
And they did look unto his hair and there was much rejoicing.
The Lady Pareth of Gondor did say, whew..he's good
Slim did say, spellbinding, and forgot his momentary thoughts of mutiny.
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, And none of you noticed!
And the Servants were ashamed.
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, Together we score--let me see--one, two, three--..four--seven hundred and twenty six. Your numbers were chosen to fit this remarkable total: The number of times I have heroically fled from marginally dangerous situations.
And the Servants were confused and in awe of his modesty.
And Grummli hope BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM would slip on his ring and disappear quickly.
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, It is also, if I may be allowed to refer to ancient history, the anniversary of the time I ate a hilariously large sandwich while fending off attack from an alarmingly massive field mouse, who threatened to nibble by bottom and chew my legs off.
The Lady Pareth of Gondor did say, That many? So brave...hobbits are really remarkable creatures, aren't they?
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, I bet you'd like to hear that story again!
It is also, if I may be allowed to refer to ancient history, the anniversary of the time I ate a hilariously large sandwich while fending off attack from an alarmingly massive field mouse, who threatened to nibble by bottom and chew my legs off.
Thearo did say, That happened to me a day or so ago. Such a coincidence!, for he was a chosen one of the Pancake, though he knew it not at the time.
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, I was only a spring chicken then, and rather careless and a bit, let s say, braver than I am today. My foes were easily dispensed with. I remember I was still eating that sandwich, and I said to the field mouse as he scurried back to the depths from whence he came
"thang you bery mush." I now repeat it more correctly: Thank you very much for coming to my little party.
And there was much rejoicing.
Let me repeat that last bit!
Gaspara did shout, Will there be food now?
Tule did say, No need, we won't understand it twice.
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, I was only a spring chicken then, and rather careless and a bit, let s say, braver than I am today.
My foes were easily dispensed with. I remember I was still eating that sandwich, and I said to the field mouse as he scurried back to the depths from whence he came: "thang you bery mush". I now repeat it more correctly: Thank you very much for coming to my little party.[/color]
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the ServantsThirdly and finally, I wish to make an ANNOUNCEMENT.
Gaspara did die of hunger
Endros did gasp.
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, Yes, an ANNOUNCEMENT
Unctur did look absolutely and completely surprised.
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, The uppercase letters mean it's important
I regret to announce that - though, as I said, four and a half years is far too short a time to spend among you - this is the END.

Rorgloin, the dwarf, did gasp.
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, Yes! Certainly! I am being forced against my wi.... Ow!
I mean, I am going. I am leaving NOW.

And Gallagade, he did start to hypernetalate.
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did say unto the Servants, GOOD-BYE!
And as he spoke this last word, he was taken up by the powers of the Pancake and vanished before their own eyes. And in this fashion, before the Servants, did BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM depart in the service of Eru Iluvatar.
And many did weep and many did faint.
Tule did weep.
The Lady Pareth of Gondor did weep.
Gaspara, with no food, did weep.
Rorgloin did weep and tear his beard.
Slim did weep.
Endros did weep.
Winterblues did weep.
Grummli did sniffle. And there was much rejoicing.
Endros did fall into mourning.
BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM did go offline.
Rorgloin did say, Where did he go!?
And BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM, his name was struck from the records of the Servants by the Lady The Lady Athelian, who did so under the orders of BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM.
Grummli did gasp.
Slim did say, BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM?
Vipthon glances around worridly at the fainting people.
Gaspara did say, This heat and no food
Rorgloin did say, Look for him! Where did he go!?
Bennbo did say, BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM is gone!
Grummli did say, Ridiculous! Absurd!
The Lady Pareth of Gondor did faint dead away.
Tule did poke around.
The Lady Athelian did look around.
Winterblues did say, He disappeared !
Tule looks confused.
Tule did say, I thought he was going to give us his stuff?
Gaspara did say, that no good.... no snacks at all
Gallagade did say, This marks the end of the world as foretold by a pile of spilt milk!
Rorgloin did say, We have paid for a party and confound it we are going to have a party!

Lord Oafus did say, well this is awkward...and we've got all that food
The Lady Pareth of Gondor did say, let's party!
Grummli did say, He's off on one of his absurd adventures again. He will be insufferable when he gets back
The Lady Athelian did say, then let's party!!
Gaspara did say, food? Where
Tule did say, Bring out the band!
And there was much rejoicing. And so the servants did go up unto the stage and the island and the kinship house lawn and they did fulfil the prophecy of BIFFBO PROUDBOTTOM 'They partieth! They partieth!'. And so it was that the next morning, Rorgloin did speak the words of power and The Lady The Lady Athelian the Wise did become Chief of the Flame Imperishable, and Tolenbrand did place the crown upon her head. And there was much rejoicing.
Rorgloin
Shield Bearer

 
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Very nice!

Postby Slim of Breeland » Fri Aug 12, 2011 7:26 am

Well done, Master Dwarf.

Slim
Slim of Breeland
Petitioner to the Council
 
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