The Roaming Rohirrim's Lonely Swoons for Karl

[Singingfox73]

Well apparently the last KU appreciation thread got bumped into the Archives for some reason or other so I suppose I will start another one.

We weren't being THAT bad were we???


Anyway, without further ado, HUGE EVENING SW N for Eomer!!!

Where ever Eomer might roam,
Even if its far far away from home,
He could come stay a while with me,
For I would fix him cookies and tea.
And read him my latest poem!

Ok THAT was kind of lame.....

[Galenmir]

What happened? What happened? We were nowhere near 300! Poor old sh_wulff's thread got shelved in the prime of its existence...

Oh well, better break this new thread in. First I'd better take care of some unfinished business from its noble predecessor...

I do intend to join you in resuming the quixotic Theodred voting campaign. What could be more lost than a lost cause that once won, and is now a tattered remnant of its former glory? Poor Theodred, alone in his dilapidated tomb; wistfully decaying beneath a tarnished tiara, faded sash, and "MoM Memories" scrapbook...

Alas, yes! It has been hard to drum up support for old Teddy this month. Apart from ourselves, I think only Singingfox73 has contributed a vote for the poor chap. I fear it will be another year before he regains his "lost cause" status and can make a full comeback. How fickle now are his former supporters! Oh, alas! *stikes melodramatic pose*

(PS - Loved your emoticon vote for him yesterday. HDTOL!)

Galenmir.. you've come out of the closet

Aaaaargh! Please please please don't tell Karl that I secretly harbor naughty Bean thoughts! I have tried to be a good, loyal, monogamus, one-man swooner, but *sniff* it is so hard sometimes... The mind is willing, but the flesh is weak, and tight green "Chosen Men" uniforms just push me over the edge! I'm so mortified - I'll offer up this poem (with feeble internal rhyming scheme) in solemn atonement:


Oh, Eomer! Of luscious lips,
Of smould'ring glare and sumptuous hips,
Of fearsome scowl and face divine,
Of such a foul and fair design,
Cast off thy helmet, pony-nosed,
And join me in this closet closed.

[shieldmatron]

Yea! A new thread! For whatever reason! It's new!

Galenmir I never knew! Are you saying you secretly lurk in the Beanie thread?

My lame attempt at poetry....

Galenmir adores just one man,
He's so hot, she needs a fan.
But Eomer's spear
Doesn't cause her fear,
Like Sharpe's green pants can!



Some pretteh to look at...

Mmmmmmm! *thud*

Sw n for Karl!

[make_it_stop]

WHERE DID THE OLD EOMER THREAD GO?

Alas that these evil days should be ours! No poster should have to bury their thread...

Westu hal. Ferdu, Theo-thread, ferdu....

Okay, I'm done being melodramatic. It is now the time of swooning.

Cast off thy helmet, pony-nosed,
And join me in this closet closed.[/color]

HDTOL! And a second hearty HDTOL for your earlier couplet exploring the heroic motif of crossed eyes. Perhaps, lacking depth perception, Eomer thought he could ride down that 45 degree slope on horseback....

Also, don't worry about sneaking occasional peeks at the Bean. Omni-swooning is a natural and healthy part of a young girl's life, as she transitions to womanhood. We will be showing a filmstrip in our next P.E. class that should answer your questions. (Or, you can just ask SM )

[Galenmir]

Alas that these evil days should be ours! No poster should have to bury their thread...

It was strong in life. Its spirit will find its way to the archives of its fathers... *quick cut to next scene* We had no warning! We were unarmed! Now the moderators are moving through the Fandomfold, relocating as they go - thread, post, and reply...


Meanwhile... I've been trying to come to grips with this phenomenon of "omni-swooning". It goes against everything I believe it, and yet posting in the Bean thread feels so... so right... Like... like coming home... *sobs* But I'll never desert my Eomer! Never!! You hear me?!? Never!!!!

Oh, my word... I used four exclamation points. I must be going mad...


Edited to add: I have once more resumed work on my on-again/off-again compilation of Eomer Poems, and am currently taking suggestions for grand-sounding titles.

[Singingfox73]

Rabid swooners caught off their guards???

I even looked into the Archives and there was no post from whoever put it there and locked it Maybe its one of those things like "where do all the missing left socks go" or "why did the chicken cross the road"--we may never know

And Galenmir, I happily swoon for Those Other Than Eomer--mostly Boromir, an occasional Fara-swoon, a glimpse of Gimli, and *gasp*, even a remark or two about Haldir(the only elf I get bothered over). Though there *was* this picture someone put a link up to in the Merry swooning thread(if the hobbits had looked THAT good, all the women of Middle Earth would have moved to the Shire for THAT ). Besides a bit of competition is good for Eomer--makes him work at keeping our affections

Sometimes we must play hard to get.
Not always make things a sure bet.
Besides Im sure Eomer likes a challenge.
Theres very little he cant manage.
I mean, come on, he got two mumaks with one hit!


Huge evening sw n for Eomer!!!


*must watch Price of Milk again--man can he dive into a vat of milk *

[make_it_stop]

I think poly-swooning is the norm. Thanks to natural selection, it's encoded in our DNA. Besides Eomer, I swoon fiercely and rabidly for Faramir, and occasionally Merry (mostly because I want to make babies with Dom's jokes ). And every so often Boromir is good for "a bit of rough". You just can't help it; all these characters break down your resistance eventually.

Galenmir, I'm delighted to know you're still working on the Eomeriad (or whatever the working title is)...I'll be first in line to ask for a signed copy when it's ready for publication. Is this the sanitized version, or the original, earthy, Anglo-Saxon version?

SFox, that's very odd indeed. Has anyone contacted a mod to ask what happened? We weren't anywhere near 300 posts, were we?



CAN'T FOOL ME

Leathery chest plate filled with suns
Ferociousness of a thousand Huns
Beneath that scowling, scar-crossed stoic
Lurks a sensitive, vegan poet.

[Singingfox73]

Gone away, gone ahead,
Where ever did go our disappearing thread?
All our lovely praises to scowly Eomer,
With odes to his spearing skills and golden hair.
Limericks about his helm with its littly pony.
Our declarations that he is our One and Only.
Why did it have to go and hide?
Did one of our couplets injure Eomer's pride?
Maybe we should just break out the rum.
And compose poems about Eomer's ... errr... thumb.



Huge early morning sw n for Eomer !!!

[Galenmir]

Galenmir, I'm delighted to know you're still working on the Eomeriad (or whatever the working title is)...I'll be first in line to ask for a signed copy when it's ready for publication. Is this the sanitized version, or the original, earthy, Anglo-Saxon version?

It's the original, earthy, Anglo-Saxon version, I'm pleased to say. While my archival duties have frequently been neglected, I managed to get my act together in time to save everyone's original compositions before the infamous May 7th Decency Crackdown, which, as we all know, led to a wave of self-censorship by the leading Eo-poets, resulting in the loss of some of the juciest pieces of Eo-verse ever written. Fortunately, these verses will be restored and integrated alongside their TOS-compliant counterparts in the Eomeriad. Or Eomerillion. Or whatever.

I'm currently trying to find a notable literary scholar who would be willing to pen an introduction to our compilation, as well as, perhaps, provide an academic overview of the evolution and dominant trends of Eo-poetry in this day and age. I'm having some trouble, though, so I might be forced to *ahem* fabricate a suitable scholar.

Anyways, I was digging through my archives today and found this fragment, originally intended to be the second verse of Rudyard Kipling's poem "Eomer". It was abandoned, mainly because I couldn't think up enough suitable Rohirric words for the final segment. Due to lack of new creative material, I'm forced to recycle this drivel to keep our Eomer contented.... (and to distract him from the fact that I've been posting in the Bean thread recently...)


The armour that 'e wore
Had elaborate decor
With the leather etched above the plate beneath
And 'is helmet, pony-nosed,
Left 'is lower face exposed
So that you could see 'is gleamin', pearly teeth

When the Uruk-Hai appeared
Then our eored, it cheered
In anticipation of the loomin' battle
For we shouted "Eomer!"
'Till it echoed through the air
Then we charged 'em like a wolf among the cattle

It was " 'Mer! 'Mer! 'Mer!
You fearless, frightful fighter, Eomer!

.... and that's where it ends, at the moment, for better or worse.

[dark_princes]

Why did the old one stop. I have a mail in my emal box that says that only moderators can put a post one it.
What the heck Happend.
I don't understand it. whe where just talking and I think that we did nothing wrong or did we.
What do you say that we might have done wrong.

[Galenmir]

While part of me would like to suspect some shadowy, anti-Eomer conspiracy, the realistic half of my brain is forced to conclude that our old thread just got innocently lost in the shuffle. If we had unwittingly violated the TOS, I'm sure we would have recevied a friendly reprimand. As it is, I suspect it was just a bureaucratic error. The mods are, after all, only human. Except InnocentEvil, who is probably a demigod of some sort.

[make_it_stop]

But, but, but....! There is also the mysterious disappearance of the old Theodred thread, which I still mourn the loss of mightily. It had the only "Un-Swoooooon" post I've ever witnessed on these boards, as well as Galenmir's highly cogent, month-by-month analysis of the snowballing Theodred MoM phenomenon.

Coincidence? An anti-Rohan mod conspiracy? You decide.

:ban:

Galenmir, I could just totally hug you for having had the wit and foresight to preserve our ancient literary tradition against the incursions of Visigoths, illiteracy, and the Dark Ages. I'd volunteer to be...um, find a literary scholar to lend an air of post-deconstructivist gravitas to the introduction. (She comes with her own shovel.)

SingingFox, entire nations have gone to war for less than Eomer's thumb...

[Singingfox73]

Yeah yeah, Helen and her face launching a thousand ships, and all that rot.....(speaking of which, check out The Cartoon History of the Universe Part 1 for an interesting take on the Trojan War--it will have you rolling on the floor bawling and laughing like a maniac).

Yeah, notice how none of the Lego-lassies or Fazgul threads ever disappear into the Unknown Of course, there are some who get rather irked at multi-swooners too so........ *sigh*

Though none of THEM are as profuse in their literary efforts to praise the object of their affections as the Roharem either. At least WE have that going for us


Surely there are none of us who care,
Who joins in the appreciation of lovely Eomer.
And I think that you will find,
That none of the Roharem would mind,
If we all took turns brushing his golden hair!


Ive had LOTS of practice as my husbands hair is longer than mine and I have to braid it for him when he goes to work.....


Huge evening sw n for Eomer!

[dark_princes]

[color=blue]I just don't get it.


[color]

[Galenmir]

SingingFox - Yes, I have read the Cartoon History of the Universe Part I! I especially like the bit where Achilles chases Hector around the walls of Troy. And you're so right. The Roharem might not be particularly frequent or fervent in their admiration for Eomer, but we certainly are creative. Going through these records, it's simply mind-blowing how much poetry we've churned out over the past seven months. Granted, not all of it is publishable or even very good, but hey, it's different.

MIS - You are... um, know a turgid post-deconstructionating literary scholar? How marvelous! It will give our poetry compilation just the right tone of self-importance and pretention! If you so desire, feel free to e-mail me at emeraldyam@lycos.com, and I will be able to impart to you the dark and mysterious plans I have for the world in general, and Eomer in particular. (I also have Theodred's MoM campaign analysis somewhere in the depths of my harddrive, but that's another piece of junk for another day).

dark_princes - I know it's distressing, but we must move on and put these obviously traumatic events behind us. And frankly, that head-exploding emoticon has always alarmed me something dreadful.

[shieldmaidenofrohan]

*sneaks in*

Sorry to hear about your thread disappearing! I'm amazed at the amount of poetry you all can churn out. I can barely rhyme, usually.

Anyway, just wanted to drop in a little bit of admiration for Eomer. Just don't tell Faramir.

*sneaks back out*

[make_it_stop]

Hey SMOR! Nothing wrong with dipping into the Eomer cookie jar every now and then...Yes, we were sad to lose our old thread, but we're determined to rebuild this one, better than before. We have the technology *bionic cha-cha-cha noise*

Galenmir Why, yes...."turgid Rohirric scholarship" is my middle name. I mean, her middle name. Follow-up transmissions to arrive in your 'in' box shortly.

And I really think you should repost your MoM campaign analysis in the Theodred thread. It's much too good to languish inside the non-Euclidean wormhole that engulfed the old thread. (I picture it popping out into some alternate universe, and becoming the basis of an entire planetary religion). Besides, it covers that innocent, lost First Age of Theodred voting, before viral marketing began to take over.

SingingFox - I agree, this is certainly the most irregular and offbeat of the swooning threads. To me it's like a favorite coffeehouse, tucked far away from all the generic, crowded Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts.

Speaking of which, we haven't had any beatnik avant-garde poetry in awhile...


shaking I scream
CONCENTRATE
for Eomer's big
banishment scene
is coming shortly

& I don't want to miss
a single scuffle
grab
or yell

his demonic sulfur eyes are a
rabbit
punch
to the
solar plexus
of Middle Earth




Oh my! That came out rather violent.... Sorry.

[Singingfox73]

Warn me next time MIS and I will dig out my bongo drums

Must go as the Muse has not hit me yet with anything good enough to follow THAT

Huge morning sw n for Eomer!!!!

[dark_princes]

I won't say anything to Faramir shieldmaidenofrohan.

[Singingfox73]

Forgive me Eomer, if I am too bold,
I must tell you that I love your hair gold.
And I hope it does not make everyone gape,
If you would wrap me up in your cape,
For the furnace is broke and I am COLD!


I swear if my boss doesnt do something about this SOON, Im going to turn into an icesicle

Huge cold morning sw n for EOMER--for Im sure he would be gentleman enough to let a lady borrow his cloak

[sh_wulff]

oh the sadness and the woe
my Eomer thread just did go :ban:
without my tender loving care
it disappeared into thin air
and now I can only rhapsodize his toe

well I have been busy and I'll be lurking for a while


the Karl-a-sutra should be illustrated Galenmir





edit sneaky smilies

[Galenmir]

Nice to see you pop your head in, sh_wulff! We mourned quite a lot for your prematurely archived thread, but we'd mourn your poetical absence even more.

I am indeed working on a series of illustrations for the Karl-a-sutra (a name, incidentally, which I am definetly filing with my list of possible titles). After all, it just wouldn't do to praise Karl's... physical attributes in several hundred poems and never show those attributes, right?

Incidentally, sh_wulff, you are still the reigning champion in the "Most Eomer Poems Posted" ranking, as far as I can calculate.

Singingfox - Hopefully your boss has agreed to turn up the thermostat. It just wouldn't do for you to get frostbite - it would severely hamper your ability to write poems for Eomer, and that would be completely unacceptable.

[Singingfox73]

Karl-a-sutra huh? With pictures even

*behavebehavebehavebehave*

Galenmir, the boss *says* hes working on it Now that I no longer have to work in a poorly insulated former sale barn, Im getting accustomed to things like, oh, air conditioning in the summer and real windows and carpeting. Wow Ive worked my way into the twenty-first century havent I??? Heat is nice(Ive got a new furnace at home and its nice and toasty inside now ).

Eomer, dear, why dont you build up the fire.
The glowing flames I love to admire.
So why dont you come here and sit with me.
And we will feed each other cookies sweetened with honey.
And.... well I dont want to raise the Mods ire.....

Mid-morning sw n for Eomer, who Im sure looks wonderful sprawled in front of a fire on a cold day with smushy pillows and fur lined blankets and a variety of yummy things to snack on. Man, I need a wood stove at home.........

[make_it_stop]

*behavebehavebehavebehave*

LOL! That's the unofficial slogan of the Eomer threads.

Singingfox, maybe your boss is relying upon your thoughts of Eomer to heat up the building? In which case, you'd be perfectly justified in spending all day gazing upon the Karl...

Galenmir, there definitely ought to be supporting illustrations for the Urbanishads. Readers would be better able to conceptualize exactly what the pony-nosepiece looks like, or the crustacean armour, with the help of detailed visual aids. In fact, how about a pop-up book?

Oh dear...

*behavebehavebehavebehave*

*behavebehavebehavebehave*

sh_wulff, I hope you'll be able to drop in and drop off a limerick from time to time, despite your RL commitments. We promise to do a better job of safeguarding this new thread. (barring unforeseen bureaucratic incidents)

[Galenmir]

Galenmir, there definitely ought to be supporting illustrations for the Urbanishads. Readers would be better able to conceptualize exactly what the pony-nosepiece looks like, or the crustacean armour, with the help of detailed visual aids. In fact, how about a pop-up book?

Urbanishads! HDTOL! That's hysterical! But I'm afraid a pop-up book would indeed be going to far - the entire volume might spontaneously combust during printing. I will, however, include suitable illustrations of key Eo-Icons, such as his pony-nosed helmet, his distinctive armour, his deadly blade, his smouldering glare, his well-defined pectorals, his... his...

*behavebehavebehavebehave*

Eomer! You are a strain
On our moralist refrain
You could even fluster vicars
If they saw you in your knickers

*winces* Ooooh... that was baaaad....

[Avallon]

I'm afraid I'm not that creative, but just wanted to pop in here and give a good SWOON for my fave Horse Stud

[Singingfox73]

Dont worry Avallon, poetry is not compulsory, its just a fun added bonus.

The Alliant energy guy came and got the furnace at work going so I have heat now

I do not want to be all boasty,
But here its now nice and toasty.
My fingers can now quickly type,
To come up with more Eomer hype.
That is funny and witty and feisty

See, Im trying to be nice and not ponder the implications of an Eomer pop-up book

Huge now warm mid-morning sw n for Eomer

[dark_princes]

I love the poetry that you writh Singingfos73. I have read them al and I stil like it.
You are a true eomer?karl urban fan I gues. Am I right ore not singingfox73.

[Galenmir]

Poor old Eomer! He's been woefully neglected these past few days, what with the ROTK:EE HoH clip and the "Van Helsing" DVD monopolizing the attention of the Fazguls while the Bozguls are busy counting down to the Beanie's next film. And down at the bottom of heap is poor old Karl, with no new movie coming out until "Doom" in 2005, and only a rehashed clip of him mourning on the battlefield in the EE preview.

*sigh*

Alas that these evil days should be ours! The Rohirrim perish, and the Gondorians linger. Be patient, Eomer... the Roharem will muster itself again... We must weather the storm, and wait for the golden days ahead...

A solitary SW N for the lonesome Third Marshal.

[Singingfox73]

Im afraid Ive been a bit lax the last couple of days too--work has been picking up and Im doing actual.....WORK

Im still waiting on my copy of The Truth About Demons to get here--it was on back order. Should be here by Nov 4th. But at least I have Price of Milk to sigh and drool over(why couldnt Eomer have had a shirtless scene????? ).

Very late night tired sw n for Eomer!