The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and Tolkien - The One Ring

by **meaningofhaste** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 1:49 pm

And away we go again. . . .

by **PrincessOfIthilien** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 1:51 pm

Great title MoH.

Maybe we can talk everyone into transferring the Christmassy posts from the last thread into here?

by **make_it_stop** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 2:37 pm

Delios-ously...nice title, MoH. Fe-vah, in the morning, fever all through the night...

PrincessOfIthilien wrote:Maybe we can talk everyone into transferring the Christmassy posts from the last thread into here?

And a one, and a two...

Dad is mad, are you listening?
Near the throne, eyes are glistening...
A death ride for you, 'cause you're #2,
Charging in a wasted Gondorland.

Gone away is the Nazgul
He was scared of the Fazgul
They act quite insane
They're Denethors Bane
Charging in a wasted Gondorland

In Pelennor we can kill a mumik
Then say that it only counts as one
Den can take Faz to the pyre real quick
But he'll get his when all is said and done

Later on, we'll build a pyre
'cause Dens about to expire.
We'll write love songs
About 300 thongs,
Charging in a wasted Gondorland.

At the sky, you can stare-o
When you're hit with an arrow,
And wish that you had, a cleverer dad,
Charging in a wasted Gondorland.

Ooh! Bonus verse!

by **shieldmatron** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 3:25 pm

In the last thread,

make_it_stop wrote: It's like a harmonic hunk convergence. Over the last three months, the earth's axis has shifted by about 12 inches.

MIS Thank you. My mind is so far into the gutter right now that it'll never get out.

Feel free to visit me there! :lol:

*sniffs*

New thread smell! Eggnog laced with ginger...

BTW, MIS, nice addition to the song!

edit to add: Sometimes I'm so weird...

The Christmas Song

Denethor's roasting on an open pyre
MIS is nipping at David's nose
Faztide carols are being sung by POI
And MoH is dressed up like an eskimo
Everybody knows Faramir and some mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
pFaz with her eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that David is on his way
He's bringing lots of thongs & feather dusters on his sleigh
And every shieldmatron is gonna probe
To see what really is under Celeborn's robe

And so I'm offering my simple mind
To Fazgul from one to ninety-two
For I have learned if you search, you will find
A David Wenham for you!

:roll:

by **make_it_stop** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 3:59 pm

shieldmatron wrote:MIS Thank you. My mind is so far into the gutter right now that it'll never get out.

Feel free to visit me there!

Visit you?! I've got a 99-year lease!!!!

Now move over in that thar gutter.... *shove*

Edited to add a row of HDTOL smileys... :rofl:

That was hilarious, SM!!

by **princessFaz** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 4:53 pm

MoH - I absolutely LOVE the new thread title. That is so clever and hilarious...

SM - I'm dying of laughter. I have the gutter space on the right...when the earths axis shifted, I rolled in there imagining my 3 favorite men all in the same area...

MIS - clevererererererere Dad LOL

*tries to think of more songs...fails*
*tries to think of more thongs...succeeds*
*drinks more mudslide*

by **SueB** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 4:53 pm

Yay, a new thread!!! Thanks for starting it, MIS!!!

Love the title, and the carols, too!! :lol:

Perfect for this time of year!

SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON for David/ Faramir!! :heart:

Sue

by **LadyStefania** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 5:16 pm

I'm here, lurking and laughing. Make me blush, MIS and Shieldmatron, I dare ya!

- L.Steff

by **shieldmatron** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 6:04 pm

LadyStefania wrote:I'm here, lurking and laughing. Make me blush, MIS and Shieldmatron, I dare ya!

- L.Steff

Do I hear a challenge?

Okay...this is supposed to be sung badly to the tune "The Grinch's Song":

The Hotties of Middle Earth Song

You're a hot one, Faramir
You really have us floored,
You're as cuddly as a teddy, you never leave us bored, Faramir,
You're one sexy Captain with a really big sword!

You're a stud, Boromir,
You might not be well-read,
But that wouldn't stop you from warming all our beds, Boromir,
Your preoccupation with jewelry could leave you dead!

You're a King, Aragorn,
It's not just your crown we crave,
We want to stare at your backside as we watch you shave, Aragorn,
Just lose the elf and don't forget to bathe!

You're a Scowly Sex God, Eomer,
Of you, we think sinful thoughts,
Ditch your silly sister, lose your men on the spot, Eomer,
Seeing you in just the horse-y hair helmet would give us the hots!

You're a mystery, Celeborn,
In Lothlorien you looked pretty dumb,
It might have been those mushrooms that left you rather numb, Celeborn,
But beneath those elvish robes, we know you have a magnificent bum!

You're a girly elf, Legolas,
You're in touch with your feminine side
Our shampoo, conditioner, and perfume, from you we'd have to hide, Legolas,
We won't change our minds, even after IR gets us drunk on mudslides!

:oops:

by **princessFaz** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 6:16 pm

*dies laughing* That one deserves a HDTOL, SM. Priceless!!!

You forgot the Who's little song at the end:

Wah-ooo ADore them
Wah-ooo Adore them
Welcome swooning, perving time....

"And what happened that day? WEll, they say in Fazland that the Fazguls libido's grew 3 sizes that day"

And then we all had roast beast for dinner... :shock:

by **shieldmatron** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 6:44 pm

princessFaz wrote:
You forgot the Who's little song at the end:

Wah-ooo ADore them
Wah-ooo Adore them
Welcome swooning, perving time....

"And what happened that day? WEll, they say in Fazland that the Fazguls libido's grew 3 sizes that day"

And then we all had roast beast for dinner...

*falls to the floor, laughing her fool head off* :rofl:

Is that roast fell beast or roast sexy beast?

by **make_it_stop** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 8:05 am

princessFaz wrote:"And what happened that day? WEll, they say in Fazland that the Fazguls libido's grew 3 sizes that day"

AAAH!! *gasp* Can't....breathe......laughing....too hard......

"The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: Wink. W.ank. *whunk* "

by **meaningofhaste** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 8:19 am

Witty, inventive, hilarious, and just a touch of perviness and smut--
you ladies are brilliant!

Hmmmm--Christmas menu--begins with Faramir, raw, on the half shell. . .

Ooops--the thread should be titled swooning Dilios-ously. . . .too late, too bad, I guess.

Sw :evil:

ning at the thought of ginger combined with cocktail sauce!

by **shieldmatron** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 8:34 am

meaningofhaste wrote:Hmmmm--Christmas menu--begins with Faramir, raw, on the half shell. . .

Would that be raw and wiggling on the half shell? =:)

edit to add:

Nice new sig you have there pFaz!

by **princessFaz** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 8:34 am

You have to admit they have the same eyes:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v139/ ... grinch.gif

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v139/ ... z/eyes.bmp

by **make_it_stop** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 8:42 am

Why, Santy Claus?

Why are you taking my Photobucket?

"Why, my sweet little tot...." the Faramir lied, "there's a pic with a watermark all down one side. So I'm taking it home to my Photoshop, my dear. I'll clean it up nice, then I'll bring it back here."

Then he went up the chimney, the old liar,
And the last thing he took was Answered By Fire.

Nice caption, PFaz. :wink:

I think we need to get your captain, Captain Faramir, and Captain Tightpants together at some sort of captain convention.

MoH - don't forget, Faramirs on the half shell are only in season during months with "R". And "M". And "J". And "A". And "E". And "B". And "Q".

by **Lhaewin** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 10:31 am

You have been busy and hilarious, guys! :lol:

Thank you for the new thread, MOH!

I got a very nice present today from a gifted lady today - a hand-painted David. I´ll try to scan it later.

by **PrincessOfIthilien** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 11:00 am

shieldmatron wrote:

The Christmas Song

Denethor's roasting on an open pyre
MIS is nipping at David's nose
Faztide carols are being sung by POI
And MoH is dressed up like an eskimo
Everybody knows Faramir and some mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
pFaz with her eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that David is on his way
He's bringing lots of thongs & feather dusters on his sleigh
And every shieldmatron is gonna probe
To see what really is under Celeborn's robe

And so I'm offering my simple mind
To Fazgul from one to ninety-two
For I have learned if you search, you will find
A David Wenham for you!

I'm not contributing to this silliness - can someone come and do all my wrapping and shopping for me, then I can devote some time to the important stuff.

by **meaningofhaste** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 11:04 am

Someone needs to photoshop Faramir onto the shell from Botticelli's Venus http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/bo ... /venus.jpg (just in case any of the fazgul may not know this famous picture). That is me on the right, hastening with a comfy wrap to keep him/her from getting a chill.

by **LadyStefania** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 4:07 pm

Matron, you're on a roll now. The revised Grinch song is the best yet. I hope you post it on Dessicated Coconut or another website where it will be most appreciated. I can't believe what a scream it is.

- L.Steff

by **princessFaz** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 4:43 pm

make_it_stop wrote:
Nice caption, PFaz. I think we need to get your captain, Captain Faramir, and Captain Tightpants together at some sort of captain convention.

Yes, really. CAn you photoshop them all in together along with Captain Kirk, Captain Hook, Captain ahab, etc....

Secondly. You crack me up!!! "Santy Claus" LOL :lol:

PoI + As soon as I'm done here I'll be over. It will be sometime around Easter...

by **shieldmatron** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 8:18 pm

LadyStefania wrote: I hope you post it on Dessicated Coconut or another website where it will be most appreciated.

That's up to MIS...

pFaz Don't forget Captain Crunch and Captain Kangaroo. Or my personal favorite, Captain Sharpe! *swoon*

MoH I thought I recognized you in that picture.

Who is the costume designer for 300? I could knit thongs.

My creativity is tapped out...I'm off to watch either The Brothers Grimm or The Great Raid. Heath Ledger or a sweaty, dirty, POW Marton...

*slaps you all for thinking I'd watch Heath first*

by **Phantasmagoria** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 1:11 am

shieldmatron's Grinch song is definitely awesome. Ho ho ho,

Wow, Captains do tend to have a reputation of hotness.

by **meaningofhaste** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 8:38 am

The "300 Blogs About 300" person reports that Icestorm Digital Studios in Montreal is where "300" is being filmed http://300blogs.blogspot.com/.

If you Google the name, you can find plenty of information about the studio, including maps showing the location. Now for a spy platoon to stake out the place (warm boots, pocket flasks, battery-heated socks, down parkas).

I'll be happy to coordinate the operation.

by **SueB** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 9:58 am

All the Fazmas stuff is a riot!! :lol:

We're such an inspired bunch around here!!!

Very good news about David playing Dilios! Man, they finally ended the suspense! Hope we get to see some pictures soon...will he have long hair again and manly stubble, I wonder? Or be clean shaven and short-haired? Lots o' possibilities here...

SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON for David/ Faramir!!! :heart:

Sue

by **princessFaz** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 10:03 am

I nthe book he has shortish hair and a short beard and mustache, I think. Also, I was rereading all the Dilios parts last night and he loses an eye!! Is one of Davids beautiful eyes going to be covered up???

I cant wait for this movie.

by **meaningofhaste** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 10:57 am

I've returned my copy of "300" to the library, so I can't check, but IIRC, Dilios has a pigtail, which combined with the shorter hair in front means. . . . a mullet! Yep, Dw's gonna look like Johnny Spit, only with better muscles.

Sw

ning for the mulletted one!

by **make_it_stop** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 12:15 pm

shieldmatron wrote:That's up to MIS...

I would love to, SM! It's a brilliant song and it deserves a wider audience. Remind me again in a couple of weeks, because I'm leaving on vacation in two hours and won't have time to add it to DC before I go.

Another mullet? :lol:

I guess technically, Faramir had a mullet too.

The norm for Spartans was a clean-shaven upper lip and a long beard. I imagine David will probably look like a hybrid of Abraham Lincoln and Father Damien.

Have a very merry Christmas (insert your chosen solsticial holiday here) and happy New Year, everybody! See you in 2006!

by **princessFaz** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 2:26 pm

Merry Christmas MIS!!!

Did you guys know about this?

http://300themovie.warnerbros.com/

Take a look under concept art and there is a photo, the third one over from the left on the top. Jo said that perhaps DAvid is in there on the left of Leonides?? What do you think? In the middle??? I'm amazed b/c this looks JUST LIKE the graphic novel!!! If that is David , he has been majorly working out!!!

Thanks Jo from WW for alerting me to this.

by **shieldmatron** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 3:53 pm

The carbon based life form once known as shieldmatron has just rolled over and died!

Thank you, pFaz! I worship you and Jo!

The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and Tolkien - The One Ring

Swooning Delios-ously for David Wenham/Faramir

Swooning Delios-ously for David Wenham/Faramir

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