2 Weeks before the Onset of MOME ....Location: Deep under the Misty Mountains
"Hey, are you alright? That's quite a height you fell through."
"Not to worry, Norda. The slope's gentle. I just caught my foot in one of those rib-cages lying there."
"Hmmm, it's huge. Is it the Goblin King's? I wonder."
"I don't think so. His troupe should be on the other side. More towards the west. Hey, you should come down the slope. I see a passage here. Slide down." Sidd shouted from below.
"Coming."
Very soon both the siblings were on the same level.
"You alright? Now, look at what I found."
Sidd held out his hand to reveal a perfectly round Ring, seemed to be made of pure gold.
"Oh my god, is it the One Ring???" The girl exclaimed in excitement.
"I thought so too. But look here, closely. Yes there. That's Weta Workshop's sign. Seems like they misplaced it during filming of the Hobbit. We can put it to good use. Now stay close, Gollum must be very close to us now."
And just then a loud hiss made them jump back in surprise and he fell down again, this time on his back. Norda picked him up and they both saw Gollum's hideous gleaming eyes in the shadows staring at them, full of hunger.
"Very close we are, preciousss. Has it got namesses?" *chuckles* "What is it preciousss?"
"We are humans from, umm, the human world. I am Sidd and this my sister."
*Chuckles again* "Yes, yesss! Wicked tressssspassers like that nasssty Bagginsess. Now, give back our preciousss. or we'll eats you!"
" This isn't your Precious. The precious was destroyed."
"Oh, we knows. But Jackssson's a nice hobbit. He pitied us and gave us that new Precioussss. It'ss mine. Give usss back quick! Give us. We will gnaw your bones out!!" Gollum leaped with fury over Sidd. But he was ready.
Instantly he threw the light of his flashlight into Gollum's eyes, which of course he knew, would blind him.
"Arrrgh! Ssss. Take it away! Ach! Take it away! It burnsss us! Cruel Men burnss usss!"
But Sidd was unnerved. Norda was moved though.
"Hey, take it off! You see, it hurts him!"
"Nice girl, my precioussss! Take it off usss! You must believe your ssister!"
"No I won't. I won't unless you listen to what I have to say." Sidd demanded.
"Take it away. We won't ... aaaah! Yesss! Yess! Ach! Yess we'd hear the nice people!"
Sidd put the flashlight away and waited for Gollum to get re-adjusted with the darkness again.
He pulled out a Golden Envelope with the words "MOME-2013" embedded on it. He held it aloft, out of reach of Gollum.
"This is an invitation to this year's Male of Middle-earth Pageant. And I'm going to sponsor someone."
"Taken! We're taken! We is done!" Gollum said menacingly." We won it yearsss back!"
"I know. I don't mean to sponsor you anyway.This year, I have chosen my contestant to be the Lord of Mordor, Sauron." For a moment the whole cave was silenced. Sidd was pleased by the terror in Gollum's eyes.
"Hehe, nice men. Must've hit your hard on the rocksss, preciouss."
Sidd went on with his proposal, ignoring the comment. "Now the road to Barad-Dur, I hear, is a tough one. And a long one. Time is pressing.But I have read, that you know or at least knew of a short-cut to Mordor. Yes or no?"
"No." But it soon turned to a "Yesssss" when the flashlight fell on him again.
"What I propose is simple and clear. You lead me to the Black Gate. To the Dark Lord himself.
And your job's done."
"Never! Even if your lightess kills us, we'll never go there!" Gollum jumped on Sidd and started to wrestle with him. But Gollum had forgotten the sister standing beside. She was afterall, the protection.
Norda jumped in and single handedly took on the miserable creature and apparently cracked few of his ribs.
Soon, Gollum was whining and groaning on the ground. Beaten. Crying.
"Think twice Gollum.You in or out?"
" Ha... have. Have pity on uss. Oh yesss, we would go on one condition. You must beat usss to a game of riddlesss! Fairly now." He added quickly.
He remembered well what had happened last time when the rules weren't that clear.
"what are the stakes?" Norda asked, now in charge since Sidd was still trying to catch his breath after the brief fight.
"We beat you, you lets uss go. You beats usss we helps you."
"That's surely better than what Bilbo bargained for" Norda whispered to her brother.
"Ve.. very well. Ask away Gollum!"
GOLLUM: What do you call a man with a sssseagull on hisss head?
SIDD: Cliff! What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?
GOLLUM: Doug! What do you call a man with a hundred rabbitsss on his head?
NORDA: Warren! What do you call a man without a shovel on his head?
GOLLUM: Douglassss! What do you call a deer with no eyesssss?
SIDD/NORDA: No idea!
GOLLUM: Correct!
NORDA: Phew! What do you call a man made out of string?
GOLLUM: Fred! What do you call a deer with no eyessss and no legsssss?
SIDD: Still no idea!
GOLLUM: Correct! Cursssssessss, preciousss!
SIDD: What's in my pocket?
GOLLUM: Our Preciousss! Oh yesss. We learns from mistakes, we do!
SIDD: Hehehe, sorry Gollum. That's wrong. We learned from Bilbo too.

The Ring's in her pockets. Mine are empty! You lost!!
"Cursesss and Splashesss, tehy tricksed uss again! Poor Smeagol, always the fool! We hatesss you!!! You leaves Smeagol no choicesss! Gollum! Gollum!"
"That's the mark of a good hobbit. By the way, stop that gurgling. It's annoying. Now lead on. Quick!"
Gollum starts climbing through the jagged rocks constantly mumbling and muttering to himself.
"poor fella!" Sidd thought. "If only we had wanted you as a guide ..."