Death of a brother

Just as Tolkien and the Inklings used to meet at The Bird and the Baby, come in here to converse about whatever might be on your mind. This is the place for all off-topic conversation.

Death of a brother

Postby Parmamaite » Thu Feb 23, 2006 12:48 pm

I'm worried about my brother.

He and his partner broke up last year, their relationship had been rather strained for a long time, so it didn't surprise anybody. He seemed to be ok with this, saying: "if that is what she wants, then fine with me". But I sensed that he regretted it more and more as time went on, and though he will never admit to it, I think he hoped she would take him back some day.

Things got worse when their second son (they have four) went to the hospital because of something that was either an accident or a suicide attempt. Turns out he's been hearing voices for years, but hadn't told his parents. He's now been diagnozed with skizophrenia, and has been in mental hospital for 8 months, it's very depressing to see a 15 year old boy in such a condition.

Yesterday my ex-sister-in-law called me and said that a friend of my brother was worried about him because he hadn't been home for three days, and he hadn't been at his job either.

We started calling around, and we found out that no-one has seen him since Sunday. He had been at work in the morning, then he collected his youngest son, and they visited me for a few hours before he returned the boy to his mother. He went home from his ex at about 7 pm. Only he didn't get home, and nobody has seen or heard from him since.

Today I was at the police to report him missing.

I'm scared, and no explanation I can come up with offers me any consolation.
Last edited by Parmamaite on Tue May 09, 2006 1:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Parmamaite
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1542
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2002 11:53 am
Location: Denmark
Top

Postby Hobbituk » Thu Feb 23, 2006 1:05 pm

Parma mate, take care. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I pray your brother will be found safe.
User avatar
Hobbituk
Ringbearer


 
Posts: 12832
Joined: Tue Nov 14, 2000 4:53 am
Top

Postby JewelSong » Thu Feb 23, 2006 1:09 pm

Oh, Parm! How awful for you!

I know there's nothing I can say to make it "better" but please know that I am thinking about you and praying for your brother and his family.

:hug:

Keep us informed...we all care!

:heart: :heart: :heart:
User avatar
JewelSong
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 4635
Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2002 6:31 am
Top

Postby IamMoose » Thu Feb 23, 2006 1:17 pm

I am sorry that I don't have anything either helpful or useful to say but I really, really hope that everything is okay!! Please keep us updated.
User avatar
IamMoose
Mariner

 
Posts: 5573
Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2006 9:04 am
Top

Postby AlexSnitzel » Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:10 pm

Parma, all the best to your brother and family! I hope everything is alright and he'll show up safe soon.
User avatar
AlexSnitzel
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 3309
Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2004 10:44 pm
Location: Sunny South Carolina!
Top

Postby Lalaith-Elerrina » Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:14 pm

Parma, hi. There's little to be said, but that I will keep you and your brother in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that all turns out alright.
User avatar
Lalaith-Elerrina
Ringbearer


 
Posts: 13978
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2003 7:46 pm
Location: Over there!
Top

Postby Alys » Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:30 pm

Oh Parma, I'm so sorry to hear that.

My thoughts will be with you, your brother and his family. I have nothing to add that's of any help in this situation, but you have my love.

I hope he's found, safe and sound.
User avatar
Alys
Moderator
 
Posts: 7018
Joined: Sun Dec 23, 2001 9:52 am
Top

Postby rowanberry » Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:30 pm

Parma, I feel that I'm at loss with words. All I can say is that, I hope that whatever has happened, it will be found out quickly. Nothing is worse than uncertainty.

Hopefully this turns out all right in the end. :hug:
User avatar
rowanberry
+++Out Of Cheese Error+++


 
Posts: 20480
Joined: Thu Apr 11, 2002 12:26 am
Location: Back row of the chorus in a silly Bollywood movie
Top

Postby The_Angel » Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:31 pm

:(

Like Alys, I'll be thinking of you man. I hope you get some good news soon.
User avatar
The_Angel
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 4324
Joined: Sun Dec 31, 2000 9:54 am
Top

Postby luthienelflover » Thu Feb 23, 2006 3:18 pm

I'm so sorry to hear that Parma. I'll be praying for him and thinking of all of you. :hug:
User avatar
luthienelflover
Herald of Manwe


 
Posts: 27944
Joined: Thu Mar 07, 2002 6:56 pm
Top

Postby entmaiden_laurelin » Thu Feb 23, 2006 3:46 pm

I'll be praying for him :hug: :(
User avatar
entmaiden_laurelin
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1818
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2004 4:40 pm
Location: Down by the riverside
Top

Postby truehobbit » Thu Feb 23, 2006 4:41 pm

So sorry there's no news yet! :(

I couldn't say anything really helpful, but I'm glad you decided to share it here, I hope it'll ease the burden just a bit! :hug:

Thinking of you and your folks, and I hope your brother will reappear safe and sound! :( :heart:
User avatar
truehobbit
Mariner


 
Posts: 9283
Joined: Thu Apr 18, 2002 5:01 pm
Location: in love
Top

Postby lady*of*rohan » Thu Feb 23, 2006 5:25 pm

Parma- I'm so sorry, I hope everything works out well for your family. Theres nothing anyone can say at a time like this that will help, but just know that were all here to listen and if you need to unload here you obviously know you can. My prayers will be with you :hug: :hug: :hug:

huggles
:angel: Rohy
User avatar
lady*of*rohan
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 4101
Joined: Sun May 16, 2004 9:16 am
Top

Postby oldtoby » Thu Feb 23, 2006 5:42 pm

Oh man!! :( I sure hope everything turns out alright.
User avatar
oldtoby
Ringbearer

 
Posts: 15281
Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2002 10:40 pm
Top

Postby Lady_Haleth » Thu Feb 23, 2006 5:48 pm

Take care of yourself through all of this, dear! :hug: :( That has got to be so, so scarry for you. I will be continually praying for you and your brother at all times. Keep us posted!
User avatar
Lady_Haleth
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 2680
Joined: Tue Dec 31, 2002 8:19 pm
Location: St. Paul, MN
Top

Postby GwenElf » Thu Feb 23, 2006 6:19 pm

:hug: for you and your family, Parma. I will be praying. :hug:
User avatar
GwenElf
Ringbearer


 
Posts: 14287
Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2002 5:27 pm
Location: Denial
Top

Postby Impenitent » Thu Feb 23, 2006 7:43 pm

Parma, I'm distressed to hear this. My goodness...no words to help. We are all here and hoping for the very best outcome possible.
User avatar
Impenitent
Rider of the Mark

 
Posts: 865
Joined: Sat Aug 23, 2003 8:55 pm
Top

Postby Silwen » Fri Feb 24, 2006 9:32 am

*storing good thoughts and feelings in the hope of a positive outcome*

:hug:
User avatar
Silwen
Ringbearer


 
Posts: 14968
Joined: Sun May 05, 2002 4:03 am
Location: Bath, UK
Top

Postby Parmamaite » Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:05 am

Still no news whatsoever :(

Thank you all for the kind thoughts.

Some of you write that nothing you can say will make it better. That's true, but somehow it helps a little anyway.

Thanks again.
User avatar
Parmamaite
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1542
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2002 11:53 am
Location: Denmark
Top

Postby JewelSong » Fri Feb 24, 2006 11:57 am

Parma, I'll still praying...you and your brother and his family are on my (long and growing) prayer list!

If you don't mind, could you tell me your brother's first name? It helps me, when praying, to have a name to say.

:hug:
User avatar
JewelSong
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 4635
Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2002 6:31 am
Top

Postby Tempest » Fri Feb 24, 2006 1:36 pm

You and your brother are definitely in my prayers...
User avatar
Tempest
Ranger of the North


 
Posts: 4912
Joined: Tue Jul 11, 2000 8:12 am
Location: Wandering in the wilds
Top

Postby Aerin » Fri Feb 24, 2006 7:37 pm

Parma, your brother and your family are in my thoughts. I hope that everything will turn out for the best.
User avatar
Aerin
Mariner


 
Posts: 8461
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2001 2:10 pm
Top

Postby solosimpe » Fri Feb 24, 2006 7:51 pm

:( I also will be praying for him, and for you and your family as well. Hang in there!
User avatar
solosimpe
Shield Bearer
 
Posts: 161
Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2005 6:36 pm
Location: I wonder as I wander...
Top

Postby Parmamaite » Sat Feb 25, 2006 7:42 am

Still no news... He was supposed to fetch his youngest son today. He didn't show up.
I called the police just now. No news, but I should call again Monday, when the guy on the case is back from his weekend.

Yesterday evening the phone rang twice while I was having a few hours of much needed sleep. It was from a protected number, and now I'm speculating about who it could be. I tell myself that it has probably nothing to do with what is happening, and that it can't be important, otherwise they would call again. Still I keep fretting about it.

All the time I'm thinking about what can have happened to my brother. It's been 6 days, even if he is dead, his body should have been found by now. Unless he has walked out on the lake near his ex's apartment, it's frozen over but the ice won't hold. The body wouldn't be found until spring.

I hope that he has taken off for a week or so to collect his thoughts. Man, I'm gonna give him a hard time when he shows up.
User avatar
Parmamaite
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1542
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2002 11:53 am
Location: Denmark
Top

Postby JewelSong » Sat Feb 25, 2006 8:18 am

Parmamaitë wrote:Yesterday evening the phone rang twice while I was having a few hours of much needed sleep. It was from a protected number, and now I'm speculating about who it could be. I tell myself that it has probably nothing to do with what is happening, and that it can't be important, otherwise they would call again. Still I keep fretting about it.


It might be good to have an answering machine...?


I hope that he has taken off for a week or so to collect his thoughts. Man, I'm gonna give him a hard time when he shows up.


I think this is the best mind set you can have! Perhaps your brother is in such a state that he doesn't realize what his disappearance is doing to his loved ones...he figures he just needs some time. You give it to him when he comes back!
User avatar
JewelSong
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 4635
Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2002 6:31 am
Top

Postby luthienelflover » Sat Feb 25, 2006 11:47 am

:hug::hug::hug:

Definitely do give him a hard time when he gets back. B^

:hug:
User avatar
luthienelflover
Herald of Manwe


 
Posts: 27944
Joined: Thu Mar 07, 2002 6:56 pm
Top

Postby Parmamaite » Mon Feb 27, 2006 9:56 am

Still no news :( it's been 8 days now.

The police told me they had checked his phone, it haven't been used since the day he disappeared. It's as if he just vanished in thin air.

JewelSong wrote:It might be good to have an answering machine...?
I do have an answering machine but there was no message, you can take that as a sign that it wasn't important, except that many people (including myself) instinctively hangs up when they hear an answering machine.
User avatar
Parmamaite
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 1542
Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2002 11:53 am
Location: Denmark
Top

Postby niamh » Mon Feb 27, 2006 9:58 am

Can you get credit card records out of the bank? If he vanished on purpose, he must have taken some money ...

I'm hoping for the best for you :hug:
User avatar
niamh
Ranger of the North
 
Posts: 1070
Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2001 4:41 am
Top

Postby *yona* » Mon Feb 27, 2006 10:28 am

Oh Parma! I am so hoping this will turn out all right for you. You'll be all right, just hang on. I know it must seem like forever, but just hang on!
I am sorry I can't think of anything more helpful, I should; I was in a similar, but quite different, position this year. My brother became gravely ill, with the very real possiblity that it might be the end. It is hard, facing the fact that someone you love may not be with you any more, and it's something you have no idea what it is like until you've been there.
But, like you say, he might just be gone off for a little while. Then when he comes back, you have every right to lambast him for making you worry!
Do keep us informed. I really wish I could say something to make it better for you!
:hug:
User avatar
*yona*
Shield Bearer

 
Posts: 180
Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2006 11:13 am
Location: Golden Plains of Nebraska
Top

Postby BigMama » Mon Feb 27, 2006 2:02 pm

Parma, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know the uncertainty has to be so very hard. Try to stay strong, we are all holding you up.
User avatar
BigMama
Ranger of the North

 
Posts: 2592
Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2003 4:14 pm
Top

Next

Return to Talk: The Bird and the Baby

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Ahrefs.com and 5 guests